9 months

Whew, final pregnancy update.  Yay!  And I am ready.  We are ready.  The house is ready.  Baby 2.0, let's do this!

37 + 2

How am I feeling you ask?  Pregnant.  Quite pregnant.  Also, it's confirmed - I have zero immune system when I am preggo.  A few weeks ago (in the middle of the hottest weather ever, no joke - I think we hit some records or something) I contracted a nasty summer cold.  How's that for irony?  And it stuck around for a week or so and started to go away but then BAM, turned into a painful sinus infection just like that.  I have had two sinus infections in my whole life that I can remember and both have been during this pregnancy.  I had no idea they could make your face (eyes, head, nose, teeth) hurt so bad.  Anyway, even though I just said how ready we are for baby, I am really hoping to be 100% recovered before he/she actually arrives.  I think I am on the upswing finally but would like another week or so to recover.  I was so sick when Arlo was born and it did not make for a fun recovery period those first few weeks...

37 + 2  (plus an enormous dinner from our new fav Mediterranean restaurant!)

I am totally eating my words from my last update when I said I hadn't been bothered by the heat.  Ha!  Shortly after I posted that we had something like 10 straight days of temps in the high 90's with most days having a heat index of 105-109 degrees.  I know that I would have been miserable in those temps had I not been pregnant for them, but add in the fact that I was nearly 9 months along and the discomfort was taken to a new level.  We stayed inside as much as possible, but when I did have to leave the house I felt sick almost immediately, nauseated and exhausted.  This is around the time I also started noticing mild swelling in my feet and ankles, pretty much just on my work days but I also blame the heat.  I have been wearing compression socks to work which keep the swelling down and as a bonus have also helped me reach a new level of sexiness.  Fortunately, the temps have cooled down a little and we have been able to spend some time outside in the mornings and evenings when it's not the heat of the day.

Not too many other new symptoms to report.  I feel like in the last few days baby might have dropped a bit.  My belly looks like it's sitting a bit lower and I have had some random sharp groin pains here and there which kind of feel like round ligament pain but a little more intense.  Some pelvic pressure too.  Walking normally is a thing of the past, it's a full-on waddle now and has been for weeks.  Contractions have decreased in frequency over the past month or so considering I was having so many for most of this pregnancy, but when I do have them now they are much stronger than before.  I really have zero feeling that labor is coming anytime soon, it just doesn't feel like baby is quite ready to come out yet, and that's okay with me.  Come when you are ready little babe (and when mama is feeling better, please!)

taken this morning, 38 +1.  belly a little lower maybe?

I had to miss my 37 week appointment this week due to sickness but the midwives were okay with me coming in next week instead since I have been measuring on track and they don't have any concerns right now.  At 34 weeks my weight had gone up 3 lbs for a total of 20, and less than three weeks later at 36+4 it was up another 3 lbs!  I think some of that was water weight though since it was a work day and I had already noticed some swelling in my ankles when I arrived at my appointment.  Belly has measured right on track every time though, and unfortunately this stubborn kid is also still hanging out OP (sunny side up.)  So besides doing some light exercises to try and turn him/her and sitting on the birth ball a lot, I have also been mentally preparing myself for a long and intense labor which is typically the case with babies in this position.  And I have gone from being worried that the baby is going to be born in the car to being worried that the baby is going to take 40 hours to come out.  There is a chance that baby could turn during labor and of course I am hopeful that is what is going to happen, but my motto this pregnancy has been expect the worst and hope for the best, so that's what I am doing.  Sometimes there is a reason that a baby picks the position that they grow in depending on factors happening on the inside so I am trying to keep in mind that this might be the healthiest position for baby right now.  I also think this baby is going to be bigger than Arlo, if I had to predict I would say somewhere around 7 lbs.  Arlo was 6lb 3 oz and while I feel like my belly is around the same size this time around, this baby just somehow feels larger.  But maybe it's just the OP position??  We will find out soon enough I suppose.

belly 35 + 2 weeks.  "I drive bobcat on baby.  Ohhhhh, baby moving!!"  - Arlo 2.5 yrs old

Ok, so we still haven't officially decided on a boys name.  We have had our girls name for a couple of months now.  Somehow that one felt relatively easy to choose, and Erik picked out the middle name which is lovely.  I have a boy name in mind but Erik isn't completely on board yet.  We have a few other contenders on the list but nothing has jumped out at us like Arlo's name did.  The past few weeks I have been thinking so hard about boy's names that I have started to wonder if random words are names.  Can we name our kid Tree?  Honda? Lamp??  Now I am just rolling with it.  If it's a boy we will figure it out when he's born.  Maybe when we see him the name will come to us.  I never thought I would have this attitude but spending hours upon hours reading through lists of boys names hasn't proven successful so this is what I have come up with as my alternative plan.  We do have a boys middle name picked out (well technically we have two family names in mind and will use the one that fits best with the first name we choose) so at least that part is figured out.

Since my last update, the crazy-pregnant-lady nesting behaviors have continued gotten worse.  Our pantry is so stocked with food it literally falls off the shelves if I am not careful.  The freezer has been completely cleaned and restocked with food for when the baby comes.  I have typed everything that I bought in a neat list organized by meal type for Erik so it's easy for him to make our meals the first few weeks.  OCD, why yes I am.  We had our foyer, stairway, upstairs hall, and master bedroom painted (good riddens gold hallway and puke-colored master bedroom walls!!)  I wanted to do part of the painting but was obviously too pregnant by this point in the game so we decided to hire someone, and I was so glad I did.  As much as I love painting having someone else do all the prep, edging, rolling, and clean-up while I sat on my butt with my feet up was pretty much the best thing ever.  Erik also rented a carpet shampooer and cleaned all the rugs and carpets in the entire house.  The nursery is 98% done.  I have been crafting like crazy sewing baby things but also making/buying things to hang on the wall because you know it's going to be really important for the baby to come home to a fully decorated house, right?!  ;)  All in all, the house is feeling so much cleaner, cozier, and more of our style than it did before. 

Arlo knows that baby is coming soon and is very excited about it.  When he sees me rub my belly he asks if baby is awake or asleep and when baby is awake he wants to feel him/her move.  This pregnancy surely hasn't been the blissful, easy one I had with Arlo, and when I think about doing it again I can't say I get too excited about it.  But when Arlo is so sweet with my belly everything else is kind of forgotten and I think - "yea, I want this again!"  We've always talked like we would have three kids but are definitely not set on that idea and we really need to see what life looks like with two before we make that decision.  If we do decide for a third there will likely be a bigger age gap before that one comes along.  Three-ish years would be ideal I think.  Arlo would be in kindergarten and 2.0 would hopefully be as independent as Arlo is now - potty trained, sleeping in a big kids bed, able to feed themselves, etc.  That being said, if we only have two I would feel so incredibly lucky and really, really fortunate.  I already feel that way when I think about how much I love Arlo and what a cool kid he is, and how we get to have another one soon.  So, maybe a third is part of our future, maybe not, time will only tell.

Arlo climbed up on the couch with me, kissed my belly, said "love you" to baby, and settled in for the sweetest snuggles.  And I melted into a little puddle right then and there...

And some final thoughts...  I am really excited we have chosen to find out the gender at birth.  And while it was pretty easy not to know initially, I am SO ready to find out who this little person is!  My patients at work are always trying to guess the gender and some people tell me they can tell for sure based on whichever old wives tale they decide to use, ha!  Old men almost always tell me it's a girl.  It's pretty much a 50/50 mix from everyone else.  I have loved hearing everyone's guesses and it really has been fun not knowing.  The vast majority of women my age tell me there is no way they could go the whole pregnancy not knowing.  And some people (again, typically the elderly folks) get really excited when I told them we chose not to find out.  Arlo has pretty consistently said that he is getting a sister.  Erik is guessing boy.  I am still undecided.  I said girl a few months back purely based on symptoms but now I am not sure.  When I was decorating the nursery I hung up the baby's ultrasound picture and think it looks exactly like Arlo.  In my mind this baby is going to pop out a little Arlo but I guess because that's all I know.  I can't wait to see!

birthing bag packed!

From here on out, there's not much to be done besides wait for baby.  We are meeting our postpartum doula this weekend (yay!)  My next midwife appointment is on Monday.  I think yesterday might have been my last day of work (sniff, sniff) but not being good at good-byes I haven't committed to a last day yet.  I told my manager I might show up on Monday for a partial shift after my appointment, and if I am magically feeling way better than I actually might, but there's a good chance I will instead use the day to take Arlo out to lunch or to park and just enjoy these last few days/weeks of him being my only little one. 

Come when you are ready baby, cause we are ready for you!!  : D 

Next baby related update will hopefully be a birth announcement, eek!!  (but I also have some house and craft posts in the works so depending on timing those might come first!)

last photo as a family of three??

8 months

Last night I had a dream that I had the baby (it was a girl in the dream and first we named her Erika and then changed her name to the one we actually have picked out in real life) and in the dream one of my thoughts was "gee, I haven't even written my 8 month pregnancy update yet, how can I have already had the baby?!"  Ha!  So, here's the scoop at 8 months.  Also, I am too lazy to take new photos for this post so I am stealing a few beach pictures from my last post for this update...

Belly is 33 + 2 in these photos, and today I am a little over 34 weeks.  Technically the baby will be full term and could safely be delivered at the birthing center in less than three weeks and that sounds incredibly soon to me! The past two months or so I have been thinking I would be totally happy with an early arrival but I still feel like there are so many things I want to get done before baby arrives that I now would be okay with a couple extra weeks to cross off everything on the ever-growing to-do list.  We are actually pretty close to ready in the baby department - the clothes and diapers are washed and folded, the nursery is painted and organized, and we generally have all the things we need for the first several months whether this baby comes out boy or girl.  We still need to set up the co-sleeper and install the car seat but those are on the list for the next couple of weekends.  Believe it or not, I have also already bought and started a baby book for this little peanut, and have several pages completed (pictures and all) that pertain to pregnancy and the family tree - go me!  I remember feeling such a lack of time for myself after Arlo was born and I know it's only going to be twice as hard with two littles, so I am trying to do as much as I can beforehand while I still have the time.  This past week I even had some of our wedding photos printed and framed, and it's about time - we are coming up on our 5th wedding anniversary in just a couple of months.  Nothing like the impending arrival of baby #2 combined with a strong nesting urge to get all those things done you have been procrastinating for years, ha!

Symptom-wise I am actually feeling better than I was at the time of writing my last post and can say that right now I am feeling pretty good!  My most troublesome symptom is the left rib pain that hasn't really improved.  I think baby's position is such that there is always a foot or knee up under my rib and it's constantly being pushed on.  Sitting and laying on my left side makes it worse but I have found a pillow under my belly at night helps a lot.  I am terrified to write this because I don't want to jinx myself - but somehow I have been sleeping really well lately.  I haven't had to take any sleep aids in a while and feel well-rested throughout the day, which I certainly didn't expect as I progressed through the third trimester!  I haven't had any heartburn lately to speak of and while I am taking it easy in the exercise department (daily walks have been reduced to about 20 minutes instead of the usual 45) my energy level is going strong for as pregnant as I am now.

My most recent appointment with the midwives was a little over two weeks ago.  Belly still measuring on track (32 weeks at the time), and I only gained about a pound since my previous visit, putting me up to a total of 17 lbs gained.  At that appointment I finally got an explanation for why I feel such strong movement from this baby.  The midwife who I saw was one I hadn't seen before, and is actually the director of the birthing center and has a lot of experience delivering babies!  She pushed around (pretty hard!) on my belly and was pretty certain baby is hanging out OP, or sunny side up, but also head down.  So all of his/her arms and legs are right in front, and that combined with my posterior placenta makes it easy for me to feel every little movement.  I asked her if I should be concerned about the OP position but the midwife said she wasn't worried at all and that it was very likely towards the end of pregnancy that he/she would turn the correct way.  And if not - I read on the Spinning Babies website that 87% of posterior babies turn during delivery so I am holding tight to those statistics!

When people have asked my due date throughout this pregnancy, and I tell them late August, they all sigh and say the same thing - "ugh, you have to be pregnant during the hot summer months."  And while I was never really worried about that, I did start to think after all the commentary "is it really going to be that bad?!"  Turns out, I have actually really enjoyed the summer pregnancy and besides the one afternoon I spent outside at the beach during a heat advisory, I haven't been bothered at all by our hot southern summer.  We generally stay inside in the A/C during the hottest part of the day (and would pregnant or not) and have had lots of pool playdates with friends which have been awesome.  Swimming while pregnant is the best thing ever, I feel completely weightless and oh so comfortable!  Also, a summer pregnancy wardrobe is way easier than being super-pregnant in the middle of winter - no jeans, coats, or sweaters to worry about.  Most of my non-maternity summer dresses still fit with room to grow, and my non-maternity lounge shorts and leggings fit comfortably below the bump.  So I only really had to buy a few short-sleeve maternity tops this time around, making putting together my current wardrobe really easy.  

I was planning to write a separate post about this topic, but I honestly don't want to dwell on it too much and realized I already covered so much of it in blog posts as it happened, that I am just going to briefly write about it here.  If  you are interested in reading the details about our breastfeeding journey last time around, you can do so here and here and here and here.  The long and the short of it is, we had a very traumatic experience last time around and those feelings are still with me to a degree.  When I tell people this, I am always met with "oh I know exactly how you feel - breastfeeding was so painful for a couple of weeks and I had to see a LC and everything!"  And not to minimize those hard times for others, but that's not at all what I went though.  I tried literally everything to make the pain that came about when Arlo was two weeks ago resolve, and it never did.  It was a six month journey for us and I was still in pain for several months after that.  We put Arlo through a procedure to correct his tongue and lip ties at three weeks old.  Between the LC's, midwifes, and eventually a breast pain specialist OB/GYN at the hospital, I ended up seeing over a total of eight medical professionals to help me.  I was on over ten different medications to help the pain, and probably another five or so to help with milk production.  I tried nipple shields and four different breast pumps trying to pump milk in the least amount of pain possible.  I pumped every three hours in the early months to try and keep up my supply, and even when Arlo started sleeping through the night I set an alarm to wake me up to pump on that schedule, and in intense pain every single time.  When my supply started to drop we used donor milk, and eventually had to supplement with formula.  When I wasn't caring for Arlo and he was sleeping, I was online googling every possibly thing that might help me feel better.  We literally spent thousands of dollars trying to figure out what was wrong and at the time I was so obsessed with breastfeeding Arlo that I would have paid every penny we had to make it work.  In the end it was thought that my nerve receptors became irritated and inflamed and just couldn't heal between the nonstop cycle of feeding and pumping.  But for those six months I was caught in this really unhealthy obsessive compulsive cycle of how I was feeding Arlo, and you know what?  I am not doing it again.  I don't like the word crazy, but for lack of a better one that's how I felt for the first six months of his life.  And I won't put myself through it again.  Yes, I still agree that breast milk is the very best nutrition for a baby.  And I will make efforts to make it work this time, but the fact of the matter is that there is a high probability that I will experience the same intense pain I did last time around.  If so, I will likely start pumping at the first sign of symptoms, and while this is probably a pretty low goal for many moms - I am hoping to be able to give breast milk for the first month.  If things go better than I think they will and we go longer than that, great!  If we don't even make it to a month, that's okay too.  I don't even think we will make the efforts to seek out donor milk like we did last time and I have made my peace with using formula.  A close friend of mine made her own and has a recipe developed by a pediatrician and approved by ours (her and I go to the same one) and her daughter did amazing on it.  So, I already have the ingredients on hand should we need it.  Some friends of ours who have four kids once told us the secret to having multiple little ones and remaining sane and happy is to set your expectations low, and you will rarely be disappointed, and pleasantly surprised if things go better than planned.  So, while some may say I have a negative attitude about breastfeeding this time around, I would have to disagree.  I feel like I am setting myself up to do the best that I can, and have a solid back-up plan that I am equally okay with.  Next week I am meeting with a LC at the birthing center to discuss breastfeeding this time around, and it's in the birth plan to access for a tongue tie immediately after birth (something we think caused the initial trauma the first time around.)  I have a new hospital grade pump and bottles galore.  So, I think I have done everything that I can at this point to be prepared for whatever comes our way this time around, and the rest is in the hands of nature...

I am hoping in the next couple of weeks to share some photos of the recently updated nursery, as well as Arlo's big boy room that I meant to share a while ago - oops!  And I am going to try really hard to write a final pregnancy update around 37 or 38 weeks, otherwise it will probably never get done!  For now, back to that to-do list...

7 months

oops, I mean to post this last week but never got around to finishing it completely.  so, just pretend this was posted about a week ago...

The third trimester is here and I am definitely feeling it.  Being pregnant is one thing - being pregnant and having a toddler to chase after is a completely different experience.  Overall, I am still feeling pretty good but the usual third trimester things are settling in and those combined with my self-imposed busy schedule have left me feeling a bit more drained than usual.  My body says sit down and rest but my mind (and toddler) say "go go go!"  Anyway, here's the seven month scoop...

29 + 3

Last week I had a midwife appointment (fourth overall I think?) and other than my complete breakdown when the midwife innocently brought up breastfeeding the visit was rather uneventful.  I am thinking about writing a post sharing my feelings on feeding the baby this time around and sort of journaling about what happened last time, so I will save the details for another day but let's just say I am still pretty sensitive about our postpartum experience last time around and every time someone new brings it up and I have to explain the whole thing the emotions pour out uncontrollably.  I am sure the pregnancy hormones are not helping this cause!  Anyway - belly is measuring on track, I was 29 weeks at the appointment and that is exactly what I measured, weight gain is up 16 lbs even.  I finally had some lab work done and they haven't called me that anything was out of whack so I am assuming that everything is fine.  I will find out at my appointment next week, now that I am in the third trimester they are scheduled every two to three weeks instead of every five to six.

29 + 3

Symptom-wise, I am feeling, well, the most pregnant I have ever felt.  I don't even remember feeling like this at the end of Arlo's pregnancy - I was actually hoping he would stay put for another week or two to give me time to recover from that two week bout of flu/pneumonia I had at the end.  This time I am all about the baby coming a bit early, which makes me think I will probably go to 42 weeks, ha.  The belly is large and in charge these days which makes bending over, picking up things off the floor, and standing at the sink to do dishes torture for my back.  I have had some back pain over the last few weeks, but it's been somewhat mild and intermittent.  I think, however, I have a small foot or knee hanging out under my left rib and sitting for a while or laying on my left side is starting to cause a lot of pain there.  Baby was still head down at my last appointment which makes me think he/she is hanging out in the same position most of the time and that's why there is always some part of it's lower extremity under my rib.  I am still having frequent braxton hicks contractions, stronger all the time.  I ran out of the wild yam root that I had been taking and since I am getting close-ish to the end of the pregnancy I have decided to stop taking it altogether and just let my body do what it needs to in preparation for delivery.  So go ahead uterus, exercise your little heart out.

29 + 3

 With this baby, I am feeling so much more movement than last time.  Or maybe it's not more movement, just stronger movement.  This baby feels super strong and has some wild kicks and dance parties that literally shake my whole body.  If I am sitting my belly will rock side to side and I can often see a foot/elbow/knee press out and float across the bump.  I don't remember the movements being this intense with Arlo, but I suppose it's possible I have just forgotten those little details.  I have had heartburn a couple of times but I attribute that to large and/or spicy meals close to bed, which is probably never a good idea let alone in the third trimester of pregnancy.  So far not a big deal and quickly remedied by a Tums.  

 

Probably my most troublesome symptom these days though is trouble sleeping.  Between waking up at least once to pee during the night, waking up every time I roll over, and the rib pain which seems worse when I lay down, sleep has been rather difficult as of lately.  Some nights I feel perfectly comfortable, not worried about a thing, but just can't seem to fall asleep.  So admittedly, I have been taking various sleep aids on occasion because I have found that I just can't function very well on 5 hours of sleep.  As well, lack of sleep seems to really affect my mood so making sure I get enough has been a priority.  Erik has been sleeping in the bonus room on an extra mattress for the past couple of weeks as my tossing and turning have kept him up as well.  I hate not having him in the bedroom at night but we both end up sleeping a lot better in separate beds, so we will keep on with it as long as we need to.  Most nights he hangs out with me before we fall asleep, and we lay there and chat or watch a show and when we are both super tired he goes to the other room.  One little bonus to this arrangement is that I am not waken up by his alarm clock at 6:15am and can usually sleep in a bit.  That being said, our tiny human alarm clock usually comes running in by 7am so there's that!

Emotionally, I am actually feeling quite well.  I honestly believe the Tumeric I started taking has really helped me, and besides the typical pregnancy hormone-induced emotions, I am overall happy and not feeling much anxiety.  Recent events in the news related to the Orlando shootings hit me pretty hard as news of this nature always does, and I had a rough couple of days feeling very worried and tearful.  Although I can't completely cut myself off from the outside world, I have found that not watching the news has helped me worry less too.  Erik keeps me updated to important world events and knows not to report anything that will stress me out. 

Lot's of people have asked me if I am still working.  I am and plan to right up until the end.  Actually, if I went into labor at work I would be super close to the birthing center and could just head right over so that would be ideal.  Kidding, kind of.  I have actually been picking up an extra shift most weeks over the last couple of months to help bulk up our savings before I go on maternity leave as working per diem doesn't give me any paid vacation at all.  However now that I feel myself slowing down a bit I am planning to go back to my usual two days a week schedule until the baby comes.  And I am pretty sure now that when I do have the baby I will be quitting my current job.  I had planned on finding a new job when we moved last year but just never put that plan into action.  So, this feels like a natural time to end my current position, and look for something a lot closer to home when I feel ready to go back to work.  I am not sure how much time I will take off yet.  With Arlo, I took a total of eight months off (two weeks of that were sick leave right before he was born) but I remember feeling ready to go back around the time he turned six months old.  I imagine this time around it will be a similar situation, and when I go back to work will be somewhat dependent on how long it takes me to find a new job when I decide to start looking.  I realize all the time how lucky I am that we have this option and feel very fortunate that I have been able to have so much time at home with Arlo, as well as a job that offers such flexibility.  I always thought it was my dream to stay home with our kids full time, but after my extended maternity leave last time I realized that maybe it's not the best thing for me.  And I have felt a bit guilty for feeling that way, but I have realized that I need to do what makes me the happiest so I can be the best mom for the little ones.  Working two days a week has felt like the ideal work-life balance for our family as it allows me to mostly be at home with the little guy, but also have some time to be "me" - adult conversation with my coworkers, keeping up my nursing skills, and also helping to supplement our income.  It's no secret that I struggled with a lot of things postpartum last time around, and honestly going back to work was something that helped me feel "normal" again.  It was the one and only aspect of my life that was unchanged by having a baby.  My job was the same and my coworkers and friends were all there and it just felt good to go back.  So, quitting my job this time around won't give me all the same stuff to look forward to going back to, but I think it will open the door to a new adventure and the opportunity to make new work friends.  So, that's the current work plan but I have learned that plans are just that and rarely play out as you envision, so I am really just going to see how it all plays out when we become a family of four before we make any big life decisions. 

In other news - we finally found me my "mom car!!"  After a year of trying to figure out exactly what we wanted, followed by a year of shopping (most seriously since we found out I was pregnant) we finally brought home our new 4-wheeled family member.  Seriously, Erik and I are the least impulsive car purchasers you will ever meet.  I think we test drove five Volvo XC 90's, a Honda Pilot, Hyundai Santa Fe, BMW X5 (please don't judge me - I actually strongly dislike BMW's but Erik thought it might be an option so I agreed to it and was pleasantly surprised when I didn't like a thing about it), and even a mini-van before deciding that the XC90 was the one for us.  In the end, safety won out and we picked what we feel is probably one of the safest cars on the road.  Here is a picture of her right when we brought her home (and moments before we took her on her first road trip!)

belly is 31 + 1 here

Arlo enjoying some milk before our trip.  car seat in the middle - for now...

My requirements for our purchase were quite simple: must be white exterior with tan interior (it's way too hot in the south for me to want to drive a dark colored car) and must have heated seats (because, well, winters are cold.)  I didn't care for any of the other bells and whistles but I was pleasantly surprised that the one we ended up going with has a few of those fancy-schmancy options.  I absolutely love driving it and have never felt so safe in a car.  It has three rows and can seat seven total, but with no need for the third row right now we have it folded flat creating a huge trunk space - no more stacking grocery bags on top of the stroller and then on top of each other, woo hoo!  We have not even had it two weeks yet but have already taken it on two road trips (more about those soon) and I love sitting passenger in it while Erik drives just as much as I like driving it myself.  Arlo loves it too and even though it's a lot taller than my last car (a small Suzuki SX4) he has no trouble climbing up and into his car seat.  Anyway, it's a huge relief to check such a big box on our to-do list and I am so happy we found it when we did.  Erik has been working to tune up my old car and we are having it detailed soon so if you are in the market for a cute little hatchback (with extremely low miles!) that has been pretty good to me the last seven years please inquire  ;)

In house news we are 95% done with the laundry room reno, as well I have the nursery all painted, and I have also been crafting like crazy.  Pictures of all those things to come soon (I hope!)  We have one last trip coming up in the next couple of weeks and then we will be sticking close to home with very few plans until the baby arrives (and for obvious reasons don't have anything big planned following the birth!)  So late July and early August can hopefully be spent pool-side with friends, eating giant slices of watermelon, and running through the sprinkler in the evening.  The stuff summers are made of  :)

6 months

Time is moving quickly now!  The first 18 weeks of this pregnancy seemed to take longer than my entire pregnancy with Arlo but the last few weeks have really flown by.  Probably because for the most part I am feeling pretty good most of the time, and I have also been in serious nesting mode which has been keeping me rather busy.  I had an appointment last week with the midwives, I was 25 weeks the day of the appointment.  Belly is measuring on track now, 25 weeks, with a total weight gain of 13 lbs.  Which puts me at only 3 lbs less than I was when Arlo was born!  That being said, I was definitely not at a healthy weight at his birth due to being so sick in the weeks before he arrived (I lost 4 lbs instead of needing to gain that amount) so of course I have expected to gain a bit more this time.  I am eating good foods and exercising daily so I know my body will gain whatever it needs to for a healthy baby.  At the appointment, I mentioned to the midwife that there was a slightly sore spot on my belly, to the right of my umbilicus.  She said the baby was probably spending most of it's time in one position and that could be causing me to feel discomfort in the area that the baby is often pressing against.  When she felt the baby, she said that he/she was head down, and while it can still flip around at this point, it's likely that most of his/her time is spent in that position.  So, even though I know baby can move around still I was pretty happy to hear that he/she was already hanging out in the proper position!  And also wondering if we have another large-headed kid on the way, hmmmmm..... 

26+2

For comparison, here is 26 weeks with both kiddos, Arlo on the left, current belly on the right.  I thought I was growing so much faster this time around but I think the bumps look pretty similar here:

Symptom-wise I am feeling a TON of movement, especially at night.  This baby is a party animal!  Still having a fair amount of braxton hicks contractions but they seem to have calmed down a bit since I started taking Wild Yam Root, a supplement recommended by the midwife.  I think I am seeing the start of the linea nigra (dark line down the middle of my belly) but it is very, very faint still.  I don't remember when that first appeared with Arlo but it faded completely soon after his birth.  I have been fortunate to avoid any chloasma aka the "mask of pregnancy" on my face so far, with Arlo I definitely had it by this point in the pregnancy.  It wasn't super dark but I did notice it a bit on my forehead and cheeks.  I am going to be really diligent about sunblock as the weather gets warmer and we spend even more time outside as sun exposure definitely contributes to those pregnancy skin changes.  Another symptom that has popped up in recent weeks is actually something that I truly thought people made up (or decided they had after watching too many pharmaceutical commercials!)  I thought that restless leg syndrome was more of a side effect of too much caffeine or something.  However, I now know firsthand that it actually exists and is kind of annoying when I am trying to fall asleep!  So far it's pretty minor and some nights I just feel like I want to squirm around as I am trying to get to sleep, but that's the only time I notice it.  Hopefully it doesn't get worse, I guess it wakes up some women later in pregnancy.  And other than that, physically, I am feeling pretty normal!

Emotionally though, a few weeks ago some pregnancy anxiety started to set in.  And unfortunately, in a pretty big way.  I wrote about our post-partum experience last time around pretty truthfully here on the blog, but I never really let on to how bad things really got.  And really, no one probably wants to read all the details.  But, let's just say it wasn't good and it took me a really long time (seven months) before I admitted to myself how bad things had gotten and reached out for help.  I think a lot of the anxiety that popped up a few weeks back is related to the fear of the same thing happening again.  I have been telling myself that this time around I have no expectations for what happens post-partum, so I won't be disappointed or hard on myself if things don't go as planned.  Last time I went into the 4th trimester (as they call it) probably a bit overly confident.  I was going to breastfeed my baby until he was three!  And we would use nothing but cloth diapers until he was potty trained!  And Arlo would sleep peacefully in our homemade co-sleeper every night!  And I would babywear all the time which would allow me to be super mom and have a clean house and dinner on the table every night when Erik got home!  I wrote a post during that time that I went back and reread recently, called expectations vs reality.  I know that my mood/emotional issues were not caused by all those things not working out as I had planned but they sure didn't help make things any easier.  And this time around I know there will be additional challenges because not only will I have a newborn, but also a very energetic 2 1/2 year old to take care of.  I know I can do it, I am confidant in my abilities as a mom and very much look forward to having two kiddos.  And it's pretty easy to say "oh I will just roll with the punches this time" but I know firsthand that often that is easier said than done.  Despite all the expectations I had last time around I was also keeping in mind that we would be new parents and have to adjust accordingly to life with a newborn.  However, the struggles we had outside the realm of "normal" newborn challenges made things a lot harder than I could ever imagine.  So, we have made a plan to do things a little differently this time around. 

First, we have decided to hire a postpartum doula.  We don't have any family in the area (or the entire state for that matter) and while they do come to visit several times a year, it's proven to be more difficult than we ever anticipated it would to not have that support nearby during these early years of child rearing.  Erik will take off at least a full week when baby arrives, and probably go back to work half-days for a week or two after that.  I then plan on the grandparents coming to visit and help out for a bit, but then I will be on my own.  We have several friends who have offered to help, but most of them have families and little ones of their own and only one of them lives close by.  So, we are hiring some help!  A postpartum doula is trained in helping families adjust to a new baby, be it your first or your fifth.  They will help with the newborn, entertain Arlo while I spend time with the baby or take a much needed shower, or even do light housework.  They are trained in newborn care, breastfeeding, and the emotional needs of the mother in the post-partum period.  I am hoping that once I am officially "own my own" with the two littles that we can have someone come in twice a week even if just for a few hours to give me a hand while we continue to adjust.  I have a feeling that even that little bit of extra help and support will go a long way in the early weeks and months after this new babe arrives.

Secondly, even though I won't be working, we plan to continue to send Arlo to his babysitters house, for probably a half day once a week.  Not only would it give me a little break from the chaos of two, but also some time to bond one-on-one with the new baby (and perhaps even go grocery shopping or cook dinner?!)  Arlo absolutely loves going to her house and playing with his friends, and I love that he gets to socialize with the other little kiddos there and spend some time without Erik or I around.  She has a pretty structured schedule with the kids in terms of meals, nap time, activities and crafts, and reading time, and I am hoping that continuing to go there will make the transition to preschool easier when the time comes.  Cause lord only knows we don't follow a structured schedule at home, and even if we did it would be thrown out the window when #2 arrives, ha!

Thirdly, to help with the recent anxiety that has popped up, I have joined a Moms support group.  It's something I did after Arlo was born, but not until he was around seven months old.  I could have used the help and advice so much sooner!  It's a great group of moms who meet once a week and talk about anything from pregnancy and postpartum mood issues to playdate groups to feeding problems and more.  Periodically they have professional therapists who come in and offer advice, and so far it's been really great to attend.  In addition, I started taking Tumeric (which I recently learned has about 100 amazing uses!) and it's done wonders to improve my mood and emotional well-being.  I suppose it could be the placebo effect but I usually find that either a supplement works for me or doesn't, I don't often feel symptom relief just from taking something new.  Studies have shown Tumeric can help with pain, inflammation, and mood elevation - and for me it definitely has.  As a bonus, I strained my back pretty bad last weekend and a little extra Tumeric seemed to really help bring down the inflammation.  Move over ibuprofen, mama's got a brand new drug!

While I would love to do nothing but sit back and enjoy this pregnancy (and my last few months of Arlo as my only baby, cue the tears) from here on out things are going to be pretty busy.  We are mid-way through a total laundry room reno, still have several rooms of our house to paint, and still need to hopefully squeeze in two beach trips (one with Arlo and one just Erik and I) all before August arrives.  We also still need to find me a larger car, eek!  Erik is starting to try and convince me to look at other vehicles, or at least other colors of the vehicle we have in mind, but I am holding out for what I really want.  I still have a feeling we will find it before baby arrives, and if not we will stop on the way home from the birth and lease something big and safe.  Kidding, kind of.  While we don't yet have a car, I can tell you we have all the paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, dish soap, laundry detergent and tissues we will need for the rest of the year.  Part of my nesting urge (this happened with Arlo too) is to stock up on everything I possibly can so we won't run out after the baby arrives.  I don't know if I fear a nationwide toilet paper shortage in August or what, but I just feel like it makes me more prepared somehow!  We don't even use paper towels but something made me buy the jumbo pack last time I saw them on sale.  File that under weird pregnant lady behavior!! 

While I know Arlo isn't completely aware of how much our lives are about to change in a few months, he is so excited to be a big brother and is at the age where he can understand that there is a baby in my belly and it will be here soon.  He loves to hug, kiss, and talk to my belly.  When I ask him what he thinks will happen when the baby arrives he tells me he will share his toys and that the baby will drink milk, ha!  He has a little baby doll that he named Howie, which both laughs and cries depending on where you press it, and when Howie "cries" Arlo will instinctively hug him tightly, kiss his head, and rub his back.  And when this happens I melt into a tiny puddle and may or may not have to hold back tears, darn hormones.  While I do anticipate a lot of clinginess and some jealousy when the baby arrives (Arlo is a mamas boy through and through) I do know he will be an awesome big brother and really excited to help with the baby.   I try and not think about this too much because I get sad if I do, but as much as I am looking forward to meeting this new baby, I am sad that this is the end of my time as just Arlo's mama.  He has been my little buddy and sidekick for the last 2+ years, and thinking of not being able to give him all my attention and energy makes me feel like he will be missing out somehow.  But then I think "geez kid, you are the only one of our children who will ever have had any time as an only child with your parents, you have no idea how good you have had it!" and then I don't feel so bad!  I guess that just comes with the territory of being a second or third kid, and honestly they probably never know any difference.  

So, that's my update!  Life goals before my next pregnancy check-in: come up with a list of names (any names, we literally still have zero!), finish the laundry room or at least get the washer and dryer moved back in because holy smokes does laundry pile up fast around here, and come to the realization that we are fully stocked on cleaning products and I can stop my crazy-lady stockpiling action!

And lastly, a side by side of Erik and I.  Who do you think is further along?  ;D

5 months

Last week we had our big ultrasound - the anatomy scan!  No, we didn't change our minds about finding out the gender, and the ultrasound tech that I had specifically requested did a great job of keeping it a secret.  The tech and OB who met with us after the scan said that baby looks fantastic and there are absolutely no concerns (yay!).  The placenta is nice and high, and also located along the backside of my uterus which they told me is likely why I felt fetal movement so early on.  Baby was moving around so much the tech had a hard time getting some views but eventually saw everything he needed to.  At the end when he turned on the 4D picture so we could see the face, I was having a contraction and poor baby was squished right up against the uterine wall.  When baby did move his/her head the arms and hands were up over the face.  So we didn't get a super clear picture but from what I saw I think this one looks a bit like it's older brother!  Here is the best picture we got, everything below the nose is baby's arm, you can't see the mouth in the photo even though it looks like you can.

I left the ultrasound feeling overwhelmed with gratitude, and that feeling has not faded.  Not that I expected anything would be wrong with the baby, but the fact of the matter is that not everyone gets good news at their ultrasound and really, the chance of a congenital abnormality is a real one.  And then there are couples who try for years to conceive and can't.  Or have miscarriage after miscarriage, even if they have already had a successful pregnancy.  Or try for so long only to have an ectopic pregnancy.  Maybe it's because I work in healthcare where I see these things on a regular basis, but I just feel so fortunate that we were able to conceive quickly when we wanted to and have a healthy, growing child and a seemingly healthy second on the way.  I do not take these things for granted, and my heart is saddened for those who might find themselves in very different, difficult situations. 

So, that felt a little heavy for a pregnancy update.  Onward to a lighter topic.  Last week we also had our second visit at the birthing center.  Since during this appointment I knew I would be seeing the midwife who caught Arlo, I made sure to schedule it on a day off where I could bring the little man along.  It was pretty awesome to be back visiting our favorite midwife, and crazy to think she was the first one to hold our now two-year-old.  Arlo was most interested in asking me "what's that?" and pointing to every single thing in the room during the appointment.  Baby's heart rate sounded great in the 160's.  Belly measured 22 weeks and I am only 20!  Eek!  Weight gain is up 8 lbs which is the total for the pregnancy so far.  Here is a picture of Arlo with Allison, he was not at all interested in holding still so this is the best I could get:

In terms of how I am feeling, I have to say I am now feeling pretty great!  Definitely more like my old self than I have this entire pregnancy so far, and much like I did when I was pregnant with Arlo.  About two weeks ago I decided to start taking an iron supplement that I already had on hand, just to see if it made any difference in my energy level.  And perhaps it is a complete coincidence and I would have started feeling better around that time anyway, but within a few days of starting it I felt like a new person.  I haven't had any lab work done yet and have never had any problems with anemia so I don't know if it's really the iron helping or what, but I plan to stay on it just in case.  It's so nice to have energy again and I am getting back to doing a lot of things I haven't felt like these last few months.

Symptom wise I started getting braxton hicks around 17 weeks.  Actually I had them for many weeks before but I would only notice them when I would lay down and my belly would be all firm feeling and in a strange shape.  Now I notice them as a tightening in my belly and it feels slightly uncomfortable, large, and heavy.  I am getting several (sometimes maybe even up to 10 or so?) throughout the day.  I mentioned it to the midwife and she said it's completely normal and recommended a herb that may quiet down my exercising uterus.  I have been trying to drink more water and rest when I feel several within in a short time.  I remember having braxton hicks with Arlo but feel like it was so much later in the pregnancy.  Other symptoms - very mild and occasional round ligament pain (actually a lot less than I had with Arlo), and craving everything sweet.  Oh my.  My chocolate and ice cream cravings are getting out of control.  Perhaps why I am measuring two weeks ahead?? 

Since the ultrasound went well and I am pretty darn obviously pregnant at this point, we decided to make the baby news facebook (and IG) official this weekend.  Here's the picture we used:

"conversations with baby brother or sister.  baby 2.0 coming in August!"

Maternity clothes are now in full rotation and have been for a few weeks now.  I was still fitting into some non-maternity stuff but realized that I had a full maternity wardrobe already and why not get as much use out of it as I can, and be way more comfortable at the same time!  Here are a few more pictures we took the other day, I am 20 weeks here:

for comparison, here is 20 weeks with Arlo:

And here is what happens when you try and involve your two-year-old in the photos, and all he wants to do is get down and play:

I have been asked a few times if I had any feeling one way or another on the gender.  And really, I don't!  If I absolutely had to guess though, I would probably say girl and that is based on symptoms alone.  This pregnancy has been the complete opposite of Arlo's, and so in my mind it makes sense that something is different this time around.  That being said, I will still be quite surprised if we actually do have a girl.  And also confused if this baby is a boy - how could two boys equal two such drastically different pregnancies??  My medically inclined mind would want that explained, and not just "every pregnancy is different."  I need more than that!  ;)  In either case, we will be super excited and love this baby like crazy no matter what the gender.  I think about having a little brother for Arlo, and my mind conjures up images of them playing trucks and trains together while wearing matching pajamas and that feels just right.  And then I think of a little girl and how neat it would be to experience one of each (and eventually teach her how to crochet and sew) and that sounds amazing too.  So really, it's gonna be pretty rad either way.

Since the gender will be a surprise until birth we need to come up with at least two names (and two middle names) that we both like and agree on.  And that fact alone would probably lead you to believe that we have made some progress in the name department, and honestly we really have not.  We have a boy name that we first heard shortly after Arlo was born, and Erik and I both liked it immediately.  But we haven't settled on anything and have always struggled coming up with girls names that we both really like.  We will not be telling anyone what it is until baby is born and named, but I can tell you that it will likely be another uncommon name.  We both tend to like unusual names and I find myself drawn towards names of the old fashioned kind.  This is one reason I don't want to share the name ahead of time, you will always get someone who thinks (and isn't afraid to share) how weird they think the name is.  And the other reason is that we really want to make sure the name we pick out actually fits the baby when we meet him/her.  Maybe we will just let Arlo pick out the name.  Last time I asked him he said we should name the baby "Peanut Butter."  That's a solid name, don't you think?

I will wrap this up with some life updates.  I was going to make this a separate post but will elaborate on these things more later...  In a few days, my parents are coming to visit!  They will be on Arlo duty for much of this weekend while Erik and I furiously work on two major house renovation projects we are hoping to accomplish before this summer.  We have already started, and mostly finished, the kitchen project, but still have quite a bit to do in there.  And I am set on having a renovated laundry room before this kiddo arrives, so we are hoping to at least get a start on that while we have the grandparents around to help with the little man.  Other house projects on the "to-do before baby" list include painting the nursery, our master bed & bathroom, and some closet organization downstairs.  I am in complete nesting mode and thankfully it's rubbing off on Erik.  Our other big task right now is finding me a new (to me) car.  I refuse to put two kids in the back of my tiny subcompact so this car purchase will need to happen before this summer.  We know the vehicle that we want, it's just a matter of finding it in the right color, year, and in our budget.  We thought we had found it a few weeks back, and Erik even flew up to NJ with intent to purchase and drive it home, but we found out at the last minute that the dealership had not accurately represented the vehicle and we were not comfortable with some things that had been done to it.  Anyway, the search for our unicorn vehicle continues...  In my usual nesting style, I have also picked up a few baby things recently.  Double stroller, check.  A few gender neutral onesies, check.  Newborn sized cloth diapers, check.  This past weekend I even pulled out all the newborn stuff I had in storage and oxicleaned, washed, folded, and organized it by size and gender.  Yes, I am doing all this stuff really early, but I know how time just seems to fly by and the more I can get done now the better.  And I think my very-large-and-round-end-of-pregnancy-self will thank me for it! 

Next up, hopefully some pictures of a renovated kitchen and laundry room (crosses fingers), a post about moving Arlo to his big boy room, and some craft projects I have been working on recently!

two months

these pregnancy posts were kept private until we were ready to announce the happy news to friends and family.  this post originally written on 1/18/16.

Well, things changed drastically since my last update.  During my pregnancy with Arlo, I had virtually no morning sickness.  Slight nausea, never even came close to getting sick, and I think it lasted a maximum of a few weeks.  For some reason, I guess I just assumed that the next pregnancy would be the same.  Well.... not so much.  Almost exactly at the five week mark, I started to feel pretty nauseated.  It was during the end of our Tennessee trip, and since we had decided to hold off on telling family about the pregnancy for a while yet, I just had to do the best I could to hide being nauseated.  Things only got worse when we got home, and I spent most mornings completely useless on the couch, super nauseous and exhausted.  Most of the time I could fight off actually throwing up, but I think that was almost worse because after I did I usually felt a little better.  Over the last couple of weeks the "morning" sickness has actually turned into "evening" sickness, and almost like clockwork between 4-5pm everyday, I start to feel the drained, nauseated feeling coming on.  I suppose it's probably better to feel this way later in the day, as Erik is home from work around then and able to help with Arlo.  When I was feeling my worst in the earlier part of the day I would do the minimum needed to care for Arlo, and we would spend the rest of the time watching Mickey Mouse - or laying on the floor someplace while he played and I fought back throwing up...  Now after we put Arlo to bed around 7:30pm or so, I head straight for the shower and then to bed myself.  (ok well, to be honest I binge watch Nurse Jackie until I can't keep my eyes open anymore, but at least it helps take my mind off of my sick stomach!)  I am wearing my sea bands 24/7 (except at work where they would certainly give away my secret), have tried all the ginger everything, and started on a new vitamin regimen, all offering little relief.  I think the sea bands might help a little, and whether the relief is psychological or physical, I will take it however I can get it.

So, I am really not trying to complain here, but this pregnancy is not the blissful, easy experience I had with Arlo, and since I am documenting things, well, I am gonna put the good, bad, and ugly all out there.  The sickness has been my most prominent symptom, but in addition my ta-ta's are also blowing up to a new size, and I can actually already feel a small bump in my lower abdomen if I am laying flat on my back.  I think I could feel the same size bump around 11 or 12 weeks with Arlo, and I am 8 weeks right now.  I have read that with a second kid you will likely start to show about a month before you did with the first, and while I am certainly not showing yet, there are definitely some changes going on in there.

At this point we are still uncertain where I am going to go for my prenatal care and the birth.  I am still exploring our options and while I know I need to make an appointment in the next few weeks here, the sense of urgency is not as it was last time around.  I am going to use the doppler or perhaps even the ultrasound machine we have in my department at work (if I can sneakily find someone who can help me get it working) and check the heartbeat in the next couple of weeks. Even though I have a really good feeling that things are moving along like they should with the pregnancy, hearing the heartbeat will really put my mind at ease and help me be comfortable in taking the next step to choose where we will go for the birth, as well as share the news with friends and family who don't already know.  The birthing center where Arlo was born is high on my list of places to go, but given my quick labor the first time around and the fact that we are now much further away, I have some concerns with getting there in time when I go into labor.  I do not want this kid born while rolling down I-40!

Anyway...  Here are a couple pictures I took yesterday.  Any and all belly roundness is total bloat from my transition from a virtually gluten-free to a gluten-filled, carb-loaded diet.  Weeks 5-7 when I felt the worst I pretty much lived on saltines and broth, but have since introduced copious amounts of whole grain bread, pasta, and such into my daily menu.  I wouldn't say I am having "cravings", it's more like I have a strong desire to eat the one and only thing that sounds good in the moment.  Vegan PB cookie from Whole Foods?  Erik will run to the store, I just have to say the word.  Popcorn for dinner?  Not really a meal but better than not eating anything.  I am still trying to include as many vegetables and beans in my diet as I can, it's just hard right now to eat as much of them as I usually do.  Anyway, bloat belly:

That is pretty much all I have to say for now.  I will be back in another month or so with hopefully a confirmed heartbeat, less nausea (fingers crossed), and a bigger belly  ;)

one month

these pregnancy posts were kept private until we were ready to announce the happy news to friends and family.  this post originally written on 12/20/15.

It seems a little silly to start writing updates at just a month.  But I am gonna do it anyway.  My plan is to write an update every month of the pregnancy so I gotta start sometime.

Officially I am four weeks plus a couple of days.  And overall feeling pretty good.  A few symptoms have popped up in the last week which is a fantastic sign that things are moving along in a good direction, and have eased some worry.  So far no morning sickness, but something of the opposite.  I am hungry. all. the. freaking. time.  Two hours after a regular sized meal I find myself already looking for a snack.  Unfortunately regular food doesn't sound all that great now, and all I have been feeling like is carbs (read: vegan mac & cheese like every every day.)  I have also been dealing with some insomnia which is not helping the waves of fatigue that have been coming and going.  The fatigue isn't too bad yet, just my body's way of telling me to go to bed early or to sit down and rest for a bit.  Breast tenderness started a few days ago, noticed only when my toddler decided to body slam my chest. 

What is even sillier than writing this little update is to post a belly pic when the belly is non-existent.  So, we will just call this the "before" picture.  I took this photo this morning on my way to yoga.  I didn't have on a stitch of makeup and the mirror is covered in water spots, but whatev.

So, that is really all I have to say for now.  I have a really good feeling that this pregnancy is headed in the right direction and if all goes well I will write more in another month!