life with two: a B family update

I started this post when Oliver was just five weeks old and never really made it around to finishing it.  So I am going to keep what I wrote then but also add in updates about where we are currently.  Oliver is now a little over three months old.  Also, this is a really, unintentionally long post.  More of a journal for my own records.  If you don't want to read the whole thing just know this - all is well three months in as a family of four.

at 5 weeks:  Oliver just turned five weeks yesterday and only in the last few days do I feel like we have developed any kind of routine or flow to life with a toddler and newborn.  Overall, I would say that things have been going far better than I expected they would with two young kids.  Oliver is a really sweet little baby and doing the whole newborn thing again feels way easier the second time around.  Personality and schedule-wise Arlo and Oliver are actually really quite similar - I attribute the ease of this time around to having the experience and knowledge from Arlo's newborn days.  With Arlo everything felt like such a big deal and it was a huge life adjustment to become parents.  Knowing what to expect with a new baby, and having the toolkit to deal with things like evening fussiness and feeding challenges have made a world of difference.  Also knowing that everything is "just a phase" that will soon be outgrown, has made it pretty easy to shrug it off in those moments of difficulty.  That being said, now that we have a newborn and a toddler to care for, there are new challenges being presented that we have had to figure out as we go.  

at 3 months:  I still feel the same as I did two months ago.  The adjustment to two went way better than I had expected.  That being said, I had pretty low expectations, ha.  At this age when Arlo was a baby we were still struggling to even leave the house.  I was pumping around the clock.  We had ongoing issues with reflux and diaper rash and I was having a pretty rough time with it all.  At this age with Oliver we are getting out of the house every morning for the most part.  Being home all day with two kids is a recipe for a stressed out mama, restless toddler, crabby baby, and a very messy house.  This being said, the hardest part of the day is usually trying to get out of the house.  Before we leave it's quite the production to gather the essentials for a morning out - diapers, bottles, clothes, weather appropriate gear for all of us, snacks and a drink for the toddler, and a snack and drink for myself.  Everyone needs to have on actual clothes and not be covered in spit-up or marker.  And even as much as Arlo wants to go our someplace fun, it can be a challenge some days to get him to agree to engage in all the necessary actions it takes to be socially presentable.  I'm not saying we have to look good, but if he arrives someplace barefoot wearing just a hat and underwear people are going to take notice.  However, I have developed my own "operation: exit the house" routine over the past two months and the whole process has grown so much easier.  Sometimes arriving home with everyone hungry (and needing the potty and not wanting to take off those shoes I tried so hard to get him to wear and telling me that he doesn't need to wash his hands because he "already washed his hands this morning" as I try and coax him into the bathroom) all at the same time while I still need to fix lunch has me like "ok. woah. what do I tackle here first." 

Arlo

at 5 weeks:  We are lucky enough to have had our awesome friends Rhianna and John take care of Arlo the first couple of days after we brought Oliver home.  And let me tell you, it was a lifesaver.  Erik and I spent that time getting to know our new little guy and were instantly reminded how it feels to wake up multiple times in the night (and also how much newborns sleep too!)  Once Arlo came home he immediately assumed his big brother role and is still doing awesome in it.  I had anticipated a lot of jealousy because Arlo has always been so attached to me, but I have been pleasantly surprised how okay he seems with me spending so much time caring for Oliver.  I think what has helped the most with the transition is trying to include Arlo in anything we can that is baby-related, and he feels really proud being able to help so much.  And honestly, he is a great helper.  He is happy to bring us fresh diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and take dirty diapers to the diaper pail.  I always let him help me with Oliver's baths, extremely supervised of course, and Arlo loves it.  When Oliver cries, Arlo will usually tell me "mom, baby crying!!" (as if I can't hear it myself, ha) and will either put a pacifier in his mouth or rock him if he's sitting in the car seat or rock and play.  When Oliver does tummy time, Arlo will grab a pillow and lay next to Oliver telling me that he also needs to do his tummy time as well!  Now of course there have also been the times when Oliver was sleeping and Arlo tried to manually open his eyes telling me that "baby needs to wake up" or when he forcefully tries to open Oliver's closed fists so they can "hold hands" but we are working on these things and so far Oliver hasn't seen too much older brother abuse.  Don't your worry though kid, I'm sure you two will be fighting and wrestling with each other before we know it.

So, that's the good.  As somewhat unfortunate timing, Arlo has also recently decided to really step up his toddler game.  I can't figure out if this is a direct result of having a new baby in the family or if developmentally he is just at a point where this would have emerged anyway, but let me tell you this kid has been the definition of defiant lately.  We have been dealing with everything from nap refusal to food throwing to yelling to toy throwing across the room.  Sheesh.  It's such a departure from his usual kind and gentle behavior so it's been a bit of a challenge to figure out exactly the best way to handle it when it happens.  And it's not all the time, he is still his sweet self for most of the day.  But for whatever reason a switch will flip on periodically and this wild, non-compliant, I-am-going-to-test-every-limit-I-can child emerges.  And it's these times that have been the hardest times in the last month or so.  In the last week though, we have started to get out most mornings and head to either the library, community center, or park so Arlo can burn off some energy which I think has definitely helped his behavior.  And two weeks ago he also started going to the babysitters house one day a week which gives him a busy day of social time with his little friends, and also gives mama a break and some alone time with the baby.  So now that we are settling into more of a routine and giving Arlo the physical and intellectual stimulation he needs, hopefully he will settle down a bit.  And if not, there's always bribery!

at three months:  I am happy and extremely relieved to say that the defiant phase Arlo went though was short lived, whew!  Once we got back into our usual routine of getting out every morning, meeting up with friends, and allowing him to engage in activities that burn up all that toddler energy he has, he quickly returned to his usual sweet natured self.  He has continued to be an awesome big brother and has more than exceeded the expectations I had for him.  I kept waiting for the jealousy to start as he has always been a mamas boy but with the arrival of the new family member brought a new Arlo too, a bit more grown-up and less needy.  He still wants hugs and cuddles often but never seems to mind if he's sharing my lap with his little brother, and my heart is so full in those moments of holding them both so close...  This being said he's still a two-year-old and there are certainly plenty of moments of difficulty.  We have just returned back to the usual level of toddler limit testing.

Oliver

 

at 5 weeks:  I am totally smitten with this boy.  He is so stinking sweet and I seriously just want to spend the day staring at his round face and bald little head!  I always secretly wondered how I could possibly love another kid as much as I love Arlo, but this little guy came along and instantly I realized that what they say is true - the love for your kids does not divide but instead multiplies.  I could write an entire paragraph about how much I love this little chunkster (his official nickname) but let me start at the beginning with his first few days at home...  Before we even left the birthing center with Oliver, it was determined he had an anterior and posterior tongue tie as well as a lip tie.  This is the same problem Arlo had that we believe was the cause of all my pain and our feeding difficulties last time around.  We had the midwife correct the tongue tie before we even came home, and even stayed over 12 hours after the birth so we could work extensively with two lactation consultants to get the very best possible start with breastfeeding that we could.  Unfortunately Oliver did not have a very good "suck" and everyone who assessed him said that something was not right.  Likely it was due to the tongue restriction he had in utero and the habits his mouth developed before he was even born.  I noticed pain from the very first feeding and even with trying everything the LC's recommended, I was still having intense pain every time he nursed.  When we arrived home that evening, Oliver had about an hour of wanting to nurse constantly, and by the time he was done I was in so much pain the thought of nursing him again nearly brought me to tears.  I decided to go straight to exclusive pumping - we had been though this before and I knew that it was the next logical step.  I didn't want to get to the point of so much pain that pumping would be impossible.  I was proud of myself for being so prepared, just the week prior I had washed all the pump parts and bottles, and had everything assembled and ready to go.  I had Erik get my pump out and he was like "what do I do with this thing?" and I said "hand it to me and plug it in, it's ready to go."  Which was a lifesaver when you are trying to pump colostrum for your crying baby at midnight when you are coming up on nearly 24 hours of zero sleep!  Unfortunately I also ended up with the same supply issues as before, which resulted in needing to supplement with formula (something I also already had on hand - more on what we are using in a later post) and have also since acquired a nice supply of donor milk that he is still receiving daily. 

So, overall we basically had the exact same feeding problems as last time, but this time it's felt a whole lot easier to process.  I anticipated a repeat experience and could not have been more prepared for it.  That being said, there are still the feelings of disappointment and sadness that we were again unsuccessful at breastfeeding.  But, clearly Oliver is growing and the pediatrician said he couldn't be any healthier so I am trying to focus on how lucky we are to have this strong and healthy sweet guy in our lives and not dwell on the things that I can't change.

Ok.  Moving on.

Personality-wise, Oliver is a pretty laid back little guy.  He isn't bothered by loud noises like Arlo has always been, but this could be due to the fact that we always sheltered Arlo from loud noises (shhh, don't wake the baby!) and this time around there's just no avoiding it.  Toddlers are loud, Lucy barks at her own shadow these days, and if we don't vacuum when we get a free minute it would never get done.  And so far he sleeps through all of that even being in the same room as whatever loud activity we are engaging in.

at 3 months:  Pretty much unchanged from above.  And yes, I'm still completely obsessed with this little chunk.  Oliver is the smiliest (is that a real word?) baby I have ever met.  Really,  he smiles and laughs at pretty much anyone and anything.  He has a laid back personality, but when he's feeling the teething pains look out.  Arlo really struggled with teething so this isn't new territory but still doesn't make watching our sweet boy in pain any easier.  Still, things feel a lot easier than they did when Arlo was at this age and Oliver feels pretty low maintenance as far as babies go.  He is totally content just hanging out in his swing, pack and play, or play gym for long periods of time which is new territory for us.
 

During his pregnancy, I was so worried that life would change drastically and I would have a hard time adjusting and was terrified about having an awful post-partum experience again.  Fortunately, none of that ended up happening.  Oliver has fit perfectly in to this little space in our family where I didn't even know something was missing.  

 

 

 

Me 

at 5 weeks:  I finished pumping this past weekend, we had made it to our goal of a month and the round the clock pumping was becoming a huge stress especially when I was home alone with both kids.  There were times everyday where Arlo needed something (lunch, nap, potty help, etc.) and Oliver was crying and hungry and I was already late to sit down and pump.  These times were so stressful that it's not surprising how quickly my supply was dropping at the end.  As well, pumping was making it nearly impossible for us to get out of the house especially when I was trying to do it alone.  The time it took to pump, bottle feed Oliver, and get all the stuff I needed for an outing with both kids took so long by the time we were ready to leave it was time for me to pump again.  I again feel like I did everything I could to make it work - pumped over three hours a day total in those first couple weeks, took fenugreek and special vitamins, ate oats in every possible form that I could, and still my supply kept dropping.  The pain I was in combined with the time it was taking away from me being able to spend with and care for the kids as well as my decreasing supply made it somewhat of an easy decision to be done with pumping when I did.  I am still having pain and sensitivity but it is definitely starting to improve and it's a huge relief not to have the stress of worrying about how and when I will find the time in the day to pump.

Emotionally, I am feeling better than I expected.  The sleep deprivation in the early weeks combined with all the post-partum hormones was a challenge, and there were a few days that I nearly completely lost my shit.  Thankfully, I had a good support system in place and made it through okay.  Had I known how quickly things would start to seem "easier," I probably would have done a lot better in those early weeks.  But it was hard in the beginning to know what things would look like a month or two in.  Now that Oliver is sleeping well at night and I am feeling well-rested myself, and we have a schedule that allows us to get out each morning to meet with friends or let Arlo get some exercise, life seems almost back to normal.  We just now have a cute little chubby baby who comes along for the ride!

Physically, recovery this time around seemed much easier.  The first week or so was rough and tylenol and ibuprofen were my best friends, but once I started feeling better the pain quickly resolved and aside from the breast pain I felt back to normal.  I took it really easy for the first couple of weeks and was lucky to have had a lot of help from Erik and my parents.  When my parents left, our doula stared coming twice a week, and she has been amazing.  In the early days she would encourage me to rest while she was over, bringing me meals and drinks as I needed.  She also cared for Arlo, had laundry going the whole time she was at our house, tidied the kitchen and downstairs, and started dinner prep.  She is still coming once or twice a week and while I need much less help these days, it's still wonderful to have an extra set of hands to help care for the kids and do the household chores.  I usually spend an hour or so now during her visits taking a long shower and doing thing I wouldn't otherwise get to do but make me feel human - like taking time to shave my legs and actually blow dry my hair!

at 3 months:  The post-partum experience this time around was almost completely the opposite of the first time.  Yes, there are been the challenging "how am I going to get through this day" times but those have thankfully been few and far between.  For the first time, I am actually enjoying this baby stage.  I know I can't go back and do it all over again, but if I could I would have told myself in that first year of motherhood to not be so hard on myself.  Part of what made that time so hard was the post-partum mood issues I struggled with, but I was also trying to hard to do everything perfectly and exactly has I had planned I would during the pregnancy.  And now having done it both ways -- driving myself to near insanity to try and be a "perfect mom" who is also stressed out and unhappy, to this time giving myself a pass when things don't work out as planned and then moving on with a new plan and feeling good about myself and my decision, I will unquestionably choose the latter.  I believe my happiness is as important for my kids and my family as it is for myself.  And who wants to go through life dwelling on the things that didn't work out? 

Another thing that I believe has helped make things so much easier this time around is knowing that some alone time for myself is not only important, but necessary, and I that I need to plan accordingly to make sure it happens.  I try and coordinate the boys' afternoon naps to coincide, and for the most part these days it usually works out and I have around one to two hours to myself everyday.  I didn't have to take too much of a break from my busy crafting schedule (ha) and I have realized that I really need this creative outlet to feel like myself.  Also, at two months post-partum I found myself wanting to get back into an exercise routine, and damn does it feel good.  I have always exercised in some form or another my entire adult life so taking a long hiatus from this is usually not good for my mental well-being (or my thighs, let's be honest.)  I resumed my Sunday morning yoga classes and as well have started running two to three days a week.  I haven't made running a priority since before Arlo was born, back when I used to run outdoors most days of the week, and it feels so good to have it back in my life.  I am thinking about eventually joining Erik's gym - insert groan here - while I happily spent up to 12 hours a week in the gym during my college years, I later found myself preferring a more organic form of working out and never looked back once I quit my membership.  The main reason for joining is the childcare they offer.  The kids can have fun in the tot room while I run, cycle, or take a yoga class, and the childcare is free.  I am still a little nervous about taking Oliver to group childcare though so I will probably wait another month or two before I join, if I do.  I will also eventually be going back to work so I will need to see how all that plays out.

And lastly, I have already been asked on multiple occasions if two is it for us, so let me just put this out there.  Naturally people want to know what's next and I have probably asked others the same along the way.  I will say that right now I am totally content with these two awesome kiddos we have been so blessed with.  If this is it for our family I will be completely happy and consider us to be two of the luckiest parents around.  I sometimes think about going back to school for my masters, Erik and I talk often about starting a small business or doing something different with our lives, as well we both have the desire to travel more.  Having another baby would delay some, if not all, of these things on our life list.  All this being said, I am still open to a third.  Erik is still in the camp where he's not ready to discuss it seriously yet, ha.  And I am also at a place where I feel like I have completely satisfied my desire to have biological children.  After Arlo was born we knew we would have at least one more and I very much looked forward to another pregnancy.  I never pictured myself in a place where I was okay with not being able to feel those baby kicks on the inside, or experience birth again, but here I am.  So, maybe two is it for us.  Maybe a third is in our future.  I think a lot of parents feel this way after two, so I know I am not alone in this indecisiveness.  We won't be making this decision anytime soon so the answer is still probably a couple of years away.  For now I am just enjoying these two sweet boys, taking life one day at a time, and trying to figure out the best way to convince my toddler to put on his shoes before we leave the house.

Oliver: three months old

Here is what our littlest man is up to at three months old!

Sleeping:  Still doing well in the sleep department.  Bedtime is gradually becoming an earlier time for him and Oliver now goes down for the night around 8:30-9:00 pm.  With that change has also come a slightly earlier wake up time and he wants to eat between 4-6am most mornings, falling back to sleep after the feeding if he wakes up on the earlier side of that range.  A few nights per week he will sleep a solid 10+ hours though and we wake up closer to 7am.  And then I feel like I superhero who can do anything because I got 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, yes please.  He is still sleeping in the rock and play in our room with no plans to change that anytime soon.  Naps are still pretty much the same - morning nap (usually semi-interrupted as we always go out in the morning), and typically a longer nap in the afternoon around the time Arlo takes his.
 

Eating:  We have far surpassed my goal of breast milk for this little guy and he's still getting donor milk from our awesome donor mama!  He receives about 10 oz of donor milk per day and the rest is the homemade formula we are using.  Still doing great on both!  Hasn't increased the amount he is taking in so we are still at 4 oz per feeding.  He always eats on demand, averaging a bottle every 3 hours or so during his awake hours.

Weight and length:   We didn't have a pediatrician appointment this month so we will find out his stats at his next appointment.

Wearing:  Goodness.  6 month onesies to fit his cloth diaper.  Pants are 6-9 month for the same reason.  I had bought some seasonal gender-neutral things before he was born that he has already outgrown.  Gah.  I guess I assumed that he would be more true to size like Arlo has always been but that is not the case.  It might change as he gets closer to 12-18 month clothes and starts to thin out but for now he's rocking the larger sizes.

Likes and dislikes:  This little guy is pretty happy with most things.  Still loves his swing, play gym, rock and play for sleeping at night.  He loves his mama and dad's faces and smiles alllll the time at us.  Loves when I play pattycake with him which always makes him giggle in his "heh heh heh" laugh.  Likes being outside as long as it's not too cold.  Loves to eat!  Has already lost interest in the pacifier which Arlo also did around this age.  Loves baths and will happily splash his arms and legs up and down until that bath time is over..  Loves to be naked and sometimes I just let him hang out in the pack and play diaper free so he can wiggle all over and kick his legs wildly which he will do for surprisingly long periods of time.  Loves when I sing to him (Gilmore Girls theme song is a favorite) and will always smile at me when I sing, which proves that he is tone deaf and obviously loves me a whole lot because I am zeee worst at singing!  He has even come around to being okay in the car seat but I wouldn't dare leave him in there to just chill for any length of time, car seats are for traveling purposes only in his book.  So when we are out and about as long as he's awake I wear him in the carrier (we splurged on a new Beco Gemini this time around and love it) which is almost essential to be hands-free when also chasing a toddler around.

A new dislike - teething.  Oliver started showing signs of teething (drooling, grunting and trying to eat his hands constantly) and 10 weeks.  10 weeks, y'all.  That isn't even fair for a baby to start teething that early!  Nothing has actually popped through yet and I am guessing we still probably have another month or so before anything actually emerges, but I have a feeling we might see something by Christmas.  I guess he's giving a whole new meaning to the song "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth."  Poor little guy, teething is rough on us all.  The evening fussiness has pretty much resolved but has been replaced by intermittent teething pains through the day.  At least they are not bad enough to wake him up at night (yet?  hopefully there's not a yet to this statement!)  After a couple of friends mentioned having success with an amber teething necklace we picked one up for Oliver but so far I haven't seen any major decrease in his symptoms.  I am hesitant to use any medications on him since he still so young, so we soothe him with the usual suspects - holding, rocking, bouncing on the ball, etc.  He is maybe sort of getting the hang of the teething rings but needs us to put them in his hands for him.

New milestones and developments:   In the last month Oliver has started to become a lot more aware of his surroundings, especially around his big brother.  He will watch Arlo with interest, but isn't laughing or smiling much at him yet.  It's more like "who is this loud and energetic person who always seems to be around?!"  His head and neck control is so much better now and in the last couple of weeks I brought out his Bumbo chair and walker so he has a couple places to "sit" now.  His legs are still way too short for the walker but we put a pillow underneath him and he seems to enjoy sitting there watching his surroundings.  And Arlo enjoys pushing him around the room when we are not looking!  Not rolling over yet, still pretty early for that, but he can roll over on his side so maybe a complete roll over isn't too far in the future.

Current nicknames are Chug, Chug Chug, Chunkster, Duder, Chunk Muffin, and baby - which is what his big bro usually calls him.  We call him pretty much everything except his actual name which I am thinking we should eventually start using!

Baby Oliver we all love you so much.  Your smile is my one of my favorite things and your sweet laughs give me all the feels.  Thank you for being such a sweet and adorable little addition to our family  :D

Halloween 2016

Oh, Halloween.  You are my favorite for sure.  I love everything about this time of the year.  Cooler weather, fall colors on the trees, and of course pumpkin everything.  Just like last year, this year we crammed about a weeks worth of seasonal activities into a span of a few days.  By the time Halloween hit I think Arlo was like - "I get to do this again?!"  This year Arlo wanted to be Handy Manny, a cartoon handyman that is todays bilingual version of Bob the Builder.  I would be lying if I said I didn't put the bug in his ear to be Manny after falling in love with the show last winter (yes, I actually think about Halloween ten months in advance.)  Thankfully Arlo was still on board with the idea when October rolled around, although he did say a few times when asked that he also wanted to be a dinosaur and a monster.  Keeping with my current theme of keeping things as simple as I could, I did the best I could to put together a Handy Manny-like costume without worrying about being too spot on.  I ordered the hat and shirt (a close enough match for me) online, made his tool belt from inexpensive craft felt I already had on hand (the night before our first Halloween event I might add), and dressed him in a pair of slightly too-big pants so we could cuff them.  He also wore some boots we already had on hand, and the tool set was bought on Amazon.  He was super excited to dress up and loved telling people he was Handy Manny - and had to correct about half of everyone because they all thought he was Bob the Builder, ha!  Oliver spent all his time at the Halloween events in the carrier so he wore the pumpkin hat I recently crocheted for his two month photos. 

Our first Halloween event was one we also did last year - story time and trick or treat around our local library.  So fun!  We went with Arlo's little friend Noah who was dressed as Daniel Tiger.

The Friday before Halloween we went to visit Erik at work where they had trunk or treat and games for the kids to play.  After we left we headed to the nearby community center where they had a huge halloween event - more trunk or treat and a gym full of games.  Arlo had so much fun, Oliver slept happily in the carrier the whole time.  I was happy to learn that all of the stops had non-candy options so Arlo came home with a lot of stickers, pencils, and small toys instead of candy that he wouldn't be able to eat.

Saturday we went to a local farm and pumpkin patch.  I had been looking forward to doing this all month, and it was so worth the wait.  They had animals to visit and feed, a giant corn pit to play in (equally fun for the adults!), a corn maze, tire swings, and several other fun activities for the kids.  We ended the visit with a hayride to the pumpkin patch where we picked out our own pumpkins.  We stayed there all morning and when it was time to leave Arlo ran away from us crying and yelling that he didn't want to go, ha!  Visiting this farm will definitely become an annual B family tradition.

 

Sunday evening we carved our pumpkins.  Keeping things simple we did just two this year.  Erik made a traditional jack-o-lantern face and I let Arlo pick out the stencil for his pumpkin, he choose a spider which is no surprise since he has a slight spider obsession lately.

notice the spooky Lucy face in the background?

Monday was finally Halloween and of course that day both kids napped until dinner time so by the time we got costumes on it was almost dark and I couldn't take any photos outside.  So here are the kids before we headed out:

 

In case you are wondering how vegans do Halloween... Well, we are still figuring that out year by year.  Arlo doesn't eat candy so it still isn't an issue for us.  He loved picking out candy from the bowls but really had no idea what he was choosing since he's never had a kit kat, skittles, or even a sucker.  We don't intentionally deprive him of these things, he's really just not interested in them yet and we certainly don't encourage it.  So when we got home we quickly swapped out the collected items for some we had ready to go - vegan gummies, fruit ropes, and fruit snacks.  Arlo didn't notice things had changed likely because he was so excited to find his favorite fruit ropes in their place.  I think he ate something like four or five packages of fruit snacks but I suppose that is what Halloween is all about, right? 

Oliver: two months old

Here is what our little pumpkin is up to at two months old!

Sleeping: I feel pretty lucky that this little guy is already pretty consistently sleeping through the night.  He still has a pretty late bedtime, going down for the night usually between 10-10:30pm and will wake up between 4am and 7am.  If he is up on the earlier side of that we will go back to sleep but if it's closer to 6 or 7am we get up for the day.  He is still on pretty much the same nap schedule he set himself - a long mid-morning nap and an even longer afternoon nap with catnaps as needed during his longer awake periods.  Evenings are still a bit fussy but there has been marked improvement in the last week or so.  The fussy period is getting shorter and shorter and some evenings it's barely noticeable until just before he falls asleep (I think he's overtired at this point.)

Eating:  We are so lucky to still be receiving donor milk from our milk mama!  He's getting nearly half donor breast milk throughout the day and the other half is the homemade formula we are making.  He is doing great on both and growing like a champ!  He eats four ounces every three hours or so during his awake hours, likely to make up for his longer stretches of sleep during naps and at night.

Weight and length:   Oliver had his two month appointment this week and has chunked up to a healthy 12 lbs even.  He actually dropped slightly on his growth chart and is now in the 49th percentile for weight.  He grew over an inch since his one month visit and now measures in at just under 23 inches long, putting him in the 45th percentile.  Head is still measuring large at 16 inches which is the 93rd percentile (and also the same exact size as his big brother at this age.)

Wearing:  Mostly 3 month onesies.  Size 3-6 month if he's in a cloth diaper.  Pants are 3-6 or 6 month to accommodate the bulky cloth butt!

Likes and dislikes:  Pretty much the same as last month...  Likes include being in the carrier, his swing, baths, naps, being outside, bouncing on the yoga ball in our arms, ceiling fans, pacifier, being swaddled at night, being naked, his play gym and eating!

He is still not loving the car seat but does okay if we are moving.  Oliver is a pretty happy little guy most of the time and usually only cries if he is hungry or tired or it's the evening witching hour, but like I mentioned even that is improving.

New milestones and developments:  While he was giving us some little smiles here and there before - at exactly six weeks we got our first smiles that I am completely sure were intentional.  Now he smiles all the time and Erik even got him to laugh a couple of weeks ago!  He figured out that if you hold Oliver's hands and tap the tops of them it makes him laugh and smile like crazy.  I probably never would have figured that one out, leave it to Dad!  He is still working on his neck strength and is still quite the bobblehead.  Our pediatrician said that he has a strong neck but honestly I have forgotten what is normal at this age and for some reason was thinking he would be almost able to hold his head on his own by this point.  Guess I should consult those dust-covered baby books again, huh?  File this one under second kid probs....

Good work growing, sweet little Oliver!  Your brother can't wait for you to be bigger so you two can build forts and play with trucks together (and mama is looking forward to putting you both in matching jammies!)

Oliver: one month old

Here is what Oliver is doing at a month old!

milestone blanket, hat, bunny, banner, and baby all made by me! 

Sleeping:  Somehow this little man has already put himself on something of a schedule.  In the early days home he was waking up 2-3 times a night to eat, but pretty quickly transitioned himself to waking up only once during the night.  At the time of writing this, Oliver is almost six weeks old and the past two nights he has actually slept through the night (9pm to 5 or 6am) which is so crazy to me.  Evenings are a super fussy time where he eats and eats but then is tanked up and usually asleep by 9pm.  He hasn't loved the co-sleeper so most nights he has just slept next to me in bed.  We recently discovered that he sleeps the best in the rock and play, so we have been starting the nights there and when he wakes up, either in the middle of the night or early morning, I just keep him in bed with me until we get up for the day.  He has a short awake period in the morning then sleeps for a few hours, wakes up to eat in the early afternoon, and then snoozes all the way to late afternoon when he wakes up ready to eat (and cry and make sad faces) like a champ until bedtime!

Eating:  This kid has the most unusual eating pattern.  I remember that Arlo would suck down a bottle as fast as he could and this kid is so lazy with it (although you wouldn't think so by looking at him) and will spend an hour or so working on the same feeding, stopping and starting multiple times.  More about this in another post I am working on, but breastfeeding has gone pretty much the same as last time around as I expected it would.  I started exclusively pumping the day was born after feeding at the breast wasn't an option due to latch and pain issues, but again my supply was not where it needed to be to meet his demands.  We started supplementing with formula, and I have since found a milk donor mama who has been helping us out.  The first few weeks he was getting almost entirely my milk, and maybe a couple ounces of formula at most.  Now it's about half donor milk, half formula.  I am really happy to report though that he is tolerating everything really well and growing like a champ!

Weight and length:   At his one month check-up, Oliver weighed in at a whopping 10 lb 3 oz!  He's only in the 60th percentile, but Arlo was so tiny as a newborn that Oliver seems huge to us.  For comparison, Oliver is 3 lbs heavier than Arlo was at a month, and weighs more than his older brother did even at two months.  Oliver measured in at 21.4 inches in length which puts him in the 53rd percentile.  And apparently we make large headed children, because his head circumference is 15.3 inches, 95th percentile just like his big bro always has been.


Wearing:  It shouldn't come as a surprise that with his rapid growth up to 10 lbs, the newborn sized clothes didn't last very long and by two weeks old I found myself already making a pile of clothes he had outgrown.  He is now mostly in 0-3 and 3 month clothes.  We started cloth diapering when Oliver turned a month old and with his bulky fluff butt he's actually wearing some 3-6 month stuff but definitely has some grow room in it.  The dive into cloth diapers came somewhat accidental, I had put one on for his one month photos and decided to just keep going with it.  I might be jinxing myself here but the transition to cloth this time around has been seamless, zero leaks or blowouts or rashes or any of the other stressful problems we had last time.  While I am grateful for the break we had between diapered kids, I am also really happy to have a baby back in cloth again.  I missed that cute and colorful baby bottom and while I don't look forward with glee to washing the diapers, I do look forward to the therapeutic activity of stuffing the clean ones.  Weirdo, I know!

thank you Aunt Megs for photoshopping this to perfection!  :D

Likes and dislikes:  Likes include snoozing on mom and dad's chests, being in the carrier (we splurged on a Beco this time and love it!), his swing, baths, naps, being outside, bouncing on the yoga ball in our arms, ceiling fans, pacifier (sometimes), being swaddled at night, and eating!
Dislikes include the car seat (insert sad face here - Arlo loved the car seat and being in the car with an unhappy baby is no bueno.  Fortunately he's okay when the car is moving but if he is awake and it's stopped for any real length of time, look out.)  He also dislikes evenings when he turns into a sad, unhappy little man.  Fortunately just having the knowledge that this is a normal phase and that it will pass makes it ten times easier to deal with than last time around.


New milestones and developments:   While we have gotten a few small smiles, we are still awaiting our first real social smiles.  I think they are coming soon though!  And just as his big brother did, Oliver also lost all the hair on top of his head around two weeks old and is currently sporting the cute, bald, wrinkled old man look.  His neck is getting stronger but he's still quite the bobblehead.  He does well if he's in an upright position but to lift his head for any real length of time during tummy time is still something he's working on.  That being said, I did prop him up on the boppy last week and he stayed up on his arms for a good 20 seconds or so!

Happy one month sweet little Oliver!

the birth of Oliver William

For the past few months, I have been wondering how this birth story would read.  With our first son, Arlo, we had a wonderful birthing experience.  Erik and I were freshly graduated students of our Bradley birthing classes, and after an easy, enjoyable pregnancy there was no reason I was planning on anything other than a smooth labor and delivery.  Fortunately for all of us it was, and we were able to have a natural, out-of-hospital birth at the local birthing center.

Fast forward two years later.  We found out I was pregnant with baby number two just before Arlo's second birthday.  Having had an easy, enjoyable pregnancy the first time around, I expected the same again.  Much to my surprise, this one did not go as smoothly.  I spent the first 14 weeks nauseated throughout most of the day, with fatigue so extreme at times I felt like I could barely care for our toddler.  Just as the nausea started to subside, I came down with an awful case of the flu which kept me home and out of work for nearly three weeks.  The rest of the pregnancy was filled with feelings of anxiety, heartburn, swollen ankles, and some pretty intense back and rib pain.  None of which I had experienced before.  Early in the third trimester I was told that this baby, we choose not to find out the gender this time, was in the OP (sunny side up) position, but not to worry since it was still early and he/she would likely turn by the time I was full term.  Every appointment that followed confirmed that baby was still comfortably hanging out OP, and every birth story that I read about birthing a baby in this position talked about everything from extreme back labor to a long pushing phase to broken tailbones.  I was doing all the exercises recommended to turn this baby, but nothing seemed to be working.  In the last few weeks leading up to the birth, I had fully convinced myself that I would be experiencing a long, hard labor - likely with complications related to the baby's position.

The actual birth story I think really starts the day before the birth.  I was 39 weeks and 4 days, nearly a week longer than I went with Arlo.  I was getting anxious to meet baby and starting to worry about going well past the due date.  Leading up to Arlo's birth, I had a full six days notice that labor was imminent.  I had starting losing my mucous plug nearly a week before and was also having braxton-hicks contractions that were increasing in both frequency and intensity.  This time around, I expected the same signals telling me that my body was getting ready for labor.  But the only changes I noticed in the days before the birth were a slight increase in the braxton-hicks, which were still far too mild for me to think anything was about to happen, and an increase in pelvic pressure - although I knew both could last for a week or two before true labor started.  And so, I was growing worried that I was approaching my due date without any hint that this baby wanted to exit my body anytime soon.

So, I figured I should start trying to get things moving.  I went for a long morning walk with Arlo, dumped extra hot sauce on my lunch, and that afternoon I googled "natural ways to induce labor."  I read through lists of old wives tales until I came across a website that stated " The best advice to past-due women longing for that first contraction? Skip the home remedies, eat right, rest and enjoy those last few days of pregnancy as much as possible. The safest and healthiest labor is one that starts spontaneously."  And immediately I realized how true that was.  I decided to just relax and try to stop wondering when it was going to happen.

That evening, both Erik and I were unusually tired.  As well, Arlo had taken a shorter than usual nap that afternoon and was showing signs of being tired well before his usual bedtime.  So we put Arlo to sleep early and headed to bed ourselves, nearly two hours earlier than usual.  While Erik was getting Arlo ready for bed, I had the urge to quickly tidy the downstairs living room and kitchen, despite feeling as tired as I was.  When I went to sleep that night I had no idea what was about to happen next.  I don't remember having a single contraction that entire evening before we went to bed, and I certainly had no other indication that I would wake up anything other than my usual pregnant self.

It was 1:00am exactly when I felt the first contraction.  My first thought as I woke up was "what the hell?!  who is doing that to me??"  I realized I was having a contraction, but decided immediately that the braxton-hicks were just deciding to pick up in intensity and it probably meant nothing.  I dozed lightly until around 1:20 when I felt another.  Slightly annoyed that I was awake so early and would probably have a hard time getting back to sleep (I had been also dealing with some pregnancy-related insomnia for the past month or two) I decided to just lay there and see what happened next.  I had a few more contractions and ended up getting up to go to the bathroom where I noticed that I was losing small amounts of my mucus plug.  Around that time I decided I was probably in early labor, but by 1:45am the contractions were less than five minutes apart, and growing stronger.  I fought the urge to try and ignore them, climb back in bed, and turn on Netflix - my usual coping mechanism with the middle-of-the-night insomnia I was growing accustomed to.

At this point I started wrestling with feelings of what to do next.  On one hand - I had a really fast labor last time around.  Active labor lasted just five hours with Arlo, and the midwives had warned me that this time would likely be much shorter.  On top of that, we now had a good 45 minute car ride to the birthing center, much longer if we were to wait until later in the morning and hit rush hour traffic.  But on the other hand, I couldn't help but think about the baby's OP position and how, in my mind, I was going to have a longer labor this time around.  As well, I really didn't want to wake anyone up - Erik, the midwives, Arlo, or friends to care for Arlo.  So I decided to just labor a bit on my own.  I went back and forth between the bed and the bathroom.  I was timing them at this point, and they were around four minutes apart lasting around 45 seconds each.  Part of me knew that I should at least wake Erik up and let him know what was going on, and the other part of me was hungry and wanted to eat.  So of course, the stubborn, pregnant side of me decided to head downstairs to have a bowl of cereal before I woke Erik up.  If this was true labor I was going to need to eat before things got more intense.  I had no sooner set the milk on the counter top when I was hit with a contraction that brought me to my hands and knees on the floor.  It was during that moment I knew what I had to do next.

Erik had been sleeping in a spare room next to ours for the final months of my pregnancy - my tossing and turning was keeping us both awake and we both slept better in separate beds.  Just shy of 3:00am, I quietly tiptoed in his room - partly feeling really silly for waking him up when I was feeling completely fine between contractions, and partly thinking about the next strong contraction that was probably now only a minute or two away.  I woke him up and said something like "hey, I think I am in labor and we might need to go to the birthing center soon."  He sleepily asked me if I was having contractions or if I was timing them or something like that.  I don't even know if I answered before the next wave hit and I was suddenly on hands and knees on his bed moaning my way through the contraction.  Suddenly wide awake, he literally jumped out of bed saying "yup, this is happening" as he ran into our bedroom to change his clothes; he knew those moans well, having coached me through my previous labor.

I told him I wanted to eat before we left, and he was already scrambling to get things together so we could get out the door.  I calmly reminded him we still needed to call the midwives to let them know we were coming.  Erik called and got the answering service, who asked him questions related to my progress so they could relay the message to the midwife on-call.  I was contracting every three to four minutes at this point, and after answering a string of questions he grew frustrated and I heard him (almost shout into the phone) "I don't know, but my wife is having a baby!"

Minutes later the on-call midwife called us back and asked us the same questions again.  Erik finally handed me the phone and after she heard me moan through a contraction she said to head in and she would meet us at the birthing center.  Erik made us some toast at my request, all the while growing increasingly anxious and saying things like "I hope we make it there."  And eventually I started to wonder the same thing.  Luckily we had already packed the car with our birthing bags and the infant car seat.  I told Erik to let out our dog and to feed both her and the cats before we left as we didn't know when we would be returning.  He then ran upstairs to wake up Arlo and get him loaded into the car. 

What happened next is one of my favorite parts of the story and something I never want to forget.  I put on my shoes and headed into the garage, about to get into the car.  I realized that I should probably try and explain what was going on to Arlo because he would likely get scared or concerned when he heard me having contractions.  I opened the back door, where Arlo was already buckled in his seat, and he looked at me and asked "mommy, where are we going?"  I told him simply "to meet the baby."  His eyes opened wide and his mouth formed a perfect little round shape.  "Ohhhh, exciting!!" he responded with a big smile on his face.  It was such a sweet, genuine response from my little guy who had been waiting for so long to be a big brother.  It's a moment I want to remember forever.

Backing out of the driveway at 3:40am, headed to the birthing center with our toddler sitting in his car seat directly behind me, felt surreal.  I had never planned on going into labor in the middle of the night and in my mind if I did I was going to spend a few hours laboring at home before we left the house.  When Erik started up the car, my Chris Stapelton CD started playing and instantly I was drawn into his deep, calming voice.  Before I had the first contraction of the drive I restarted the CD so I could scan through my favorite songs as we drove.  During the contractions, I focused on the music and lyrics and almost felt hypnotized.  I couldn't be on hands and knees and still be buckled in so I had positioned my body to be as much on my side as I could, with my head somewhat over the center console and holding on to the back of the drivers seat as I needed to.  Between contractions I sang along quietly and reassured Arlo that I was doing okay and these were the noises I had to make for the baby to come.  He didn't seem too phased by the whole experience and surprisingly stayed wide awake the entire drive.  Erik was completely in driving mode - hands gripping the wheel at three and nine as we drove 80-90 mph down the nearly empty highway. During the drive I attempted to text and call my friend, Rhianna, who was on-call to pick up Arlo from the birthing center should I go into labor in the middle if the night.  She didn't wake up for the calls, but in the end it ended up being a blessing and I realized it all worked out the way it did for a really good reason.

We pulled into the parking lot of the birthing center just 29 minutes after we left the house - certainly making record time.  When we had arrived to the birthing center when in was in labor with Arlo I was mid-transition and can barely remember walking inside the building.  This time, I was still feeling completely normal between contractions and walked in the door like nothing was happening.  Erik carried in Arlo and the midwife and nurse were just inside to greet us.  I asked if he remembered which of the four birthing rooms I had Arlo in, and he pointed to one of the doors.  Since we were the only people in labor at the time, I had my choice of room and was really happy we could welcome this baby in the same exact place that Arlo came into the world.

I went straight for the bed and had a contraction almost right away.  I asked the midwife, Lydia, if she wanted to check my dialation status to see how far along I was.  As she was checking she felt around for a little while without saying anything.  I started to worry (do you see a trend here?  yes, I am a natural worrier) and told her if I was only two centimeters or something not to even tell me.  She said she felt the head, bag of waters, that I was 9cm, and the baby still had to move down a good bit.  This was exactly where I was when I had arrived to give birth to Arlo.  Erik and I exchanged glances, this was really going to happen and probably pretty soon.  We were going to meet our baby and Arlo was about to become a big brother!

Being the middle of summer and almost always uncomfortably hot, the thought of getting into a warm tub did not sound appealing at all.  I had used the tub for pain management during Arlo's birth but had no desire to this time, so I stayed where I was on the bed.  It felt like the contractions had started to space themselves out since our arrival at the birthing center, but since I was no longer timing them I can't say for sure.  They were still what I would call pretty moderate in intensity, I definitely had to moan and work through them but they were by no means unbearable.  Between contractions I sat up and chatted with the midwife, nurse, and Erik who was sitting in a rocking chair nearby holding our slightly stunned looking toddler.  I don't remember what we talked about but I remember laughing a few times and at one point I told them we hadn't decided on a boys name yet which somehow Erik had turned into a joke and we all laughed.  At one point I almost felt silly were were all just sitting around waiting for the baby to come.  Here it was, the middle of the night practically, and I was feeling completely fine between contractions.  I mentioned that I felt like labor was slowing down a bit and that I didn't even feel like I had hit transition yet.  Lydia said she thought I had, and that it was normal for things to slow down sometimes upon arriving in a new place.  Not two minutes later I was hit with the most intense contraction yet, and immediately after told her how I regretted saying what I had just said.

After I had been laboring at the birthing center for 30-40 minutes or so, I asked Lydia how I could encourage the baby to move down.  She said what I was doing with frequent position changes would help, but we could also try the peanut ball.  My friend Katie, who is a labor and delivery nurse, had told me about this special ball they often use for women in labor with an OP baby.  "Yes!" I thought, let's try that.  So I laid down on my side with the peanut shaped ball between my legs to help open my pelvis.  A contraction came on and the intensity was so much that I started pushing the ball away and kicking my legs to move it off the bed.  Erik saw me thrashing around and immediately came to help me back to hands and knees, by far my preferred position to labor in.  Sometime around this point the midwife and nurse stepped out to greet another woman who had just arrived in labor.  They told us to come get them if anything changed.

After the peanut ball incident, Erik set Arlo up in a big, squishy beanbag chair the nurse had brought in for him.  He put on a Mickey Mouse cartoon on his phone and covered Arlo with a blanket, hoping he would fall back asleep.  We had tried a couple more times to touch base with our friends, still without success.  At least at this point Arlo was totally engrossed in his show, not even caring about his laboring mom on the bed not 10 feet away.  Erik was now by my side, rubbing my back and helping me work through contractions.  They were taking more of my attention and I was no longer feeling "completely fine" between them, I was starting to become grateful for the rest.  All of a sudden, I felt the urge to push a little so I did.  At first I thought the baby had descended into the birth canal but there was no pain associated with the feeling so I was unsure as to what was going on.  Immediately after the push I felt a pop and was instantly covered in warm water.  My water had broke!  I remained on hands and knees, stunned at what had happened.  My water never broke spontaneously with Arlo so I hadn't experienced that feeling before.  Erik literally ran out the door to get the midwife and within seconds they were all back in the room.

Still not knowing what to do at that point, I simply told them "I'm all wet."  Which was pretty obvious by the puddle underneath me!  The nurse quickly changed out the wet pads that I was kneeling on.  I didn't look to see what they were doing but there was suddenly a commotion at the foot of the bed, and I knew they were getting the birthing supplies ready. Lydia said to me "Kendra, I think what is about to happen next is that your baby is about to come."  I asked her if I should take off my shirt that I was still wearing knowing that we would be doing skin to skin immediately after birth, and Erik started to help me finish undressing.  He started to help me with my bra and suddenly a strong contraction came along with the urge to push.  Instinctively I wanted to fight it, I remembered how much I disliked the feeling of pushing last time and I was really wishing I didn't have to.  I gave into the urge and felt the baby move down the birth canal during what felt like a nonstop contraction.  I had pushed out Arlo laying on my right side and remember liking that position so I immediately lied down and assumed the same position.  Lydia told me to grab my left leg and during the next contraction curl towards her and push with everything I had.  I barely remember a break from the previous contraction and it was happening again.  It took every bit that I had, but our new little baby came into the world during that next push, just six minutes after my water had broken.  The intensity of the actual birth was considerably more than I remembered with Arlo, and pushing him out was by far the most pain I felt the entire labor.

We had put in the birth plan that if it was possible Erik would like to catch the baby.  But with as fast as everything happened, and the fact that he had his cord wrapped around his neck, foot, and hand, Lydia ended up being the one to guide him in to the world and place him on my belly.  He had a short cord and couldn't quite make it up to my chest yet.  He cried loudly immediately, and seconds after he was born Erik announced, with the most proud look on his face, "it's a boy!"  I realized in that moment that I had forgotten we were about to find out the gender, something that I had always thought would be the first thing on my mind after I gave birth.  I was super excited to learn that we had another sweet boy in our family, and then filled with mild concern that we hadn't yet decided on a boys name.

Through the whole commotion of bringing his little brother into the world, our two and a half year old sat quietly watching his show, either oblivious to what was going on or maybe just choosing to ignore it.  Erik picked him up and asked him if he wanted to meet his brother, and at that point Arlo realized there was a new tiny person in the room and became interested in what was going on.  He spent some time next to us looking at the baby but eventually wanted to go back to watching his show, which was fine because I needed Erik next to me for what was about to come next.

After the cord stopped pulsing the midwife clamped it and Erik took the opportunity to cut it.  The placenta was delivered a short time after without issue.  At this point, Lydia started to assess me to see if I needed stitches, and with the amount of pain that I experienced during the birth and afterwards, I was not surprised to learn that I did.  I later learned that our little guy was born with both shoulders coming out at the same time (usually it is one then the other) which is the reason for the tearing that occurred.  Another midwife, Carey, came into the room about this time, she was second on call and since the other laboring woman in the birthing center was about to deliver they called her in for backup.  She came into the room at a great time, and was an awesome support person during what ended up being a rather painful repair.  Eventually Lydia left to go catch the baby in the room next door, and Carey took over with the stitches.  After what felt like an eternity, in reality was probably something like 45 minutes, she was done and I was able to sit up and for the first time really get a good look at our newest family member.  He had began rooting very shortly after he was born and had already spent a good amount of time nursing.  The first thing I noticed about him was his tiny, pouty lips and round face.  I fell in love immediately.

It was around this time that we got in touch with our friends who we had been calling to come pick up Arlo.  They were very excited to learn that we had a boy, and said they would jump in the car immediately to come up.  Rhianna wanted to know could they all come - her, her husband, and two kids, and I loved the idea of them all visiting to meet the new baby.  We met John and Rhianna in our Bradley birthing class when we were both pregnant with our first babies, and have been good friends ever since.  They are the closest thing we have to family in the whole state, and I was thrilled to have them all come visit during such a special time in our lives.  When they arrived a bit later, Arlo was filled with so much excitement to not only see his bestie, but also to introduce them to his new little brother.  He started literally jumping up and down on the bed next to me when they walked in, talking so fast we could barely understand him - "my new baby brother right there!!  baby was born!  baby came from mamas belly!" and we all had a good laugh.  All four of the kids in the room had been born at that very birthing center, three of them in that very room!  I like to think that it was a very special time for all of us.

They hung out for a bit and gave the new baby some snuggles before heading out with Arlo and the overnight bags we had packed for him.  It was a little hard to say goodbye to my toddler, but he was so excited to be going to his friends house he didn't seem sad at all to leave, which made for a really easy transition.  In the end, I wouldn't have changed a thing about the birth and realize how awesome it was to have Arlo there to meet his new little brother right after he was born.

After bonding for a few hours with our new little guy, he was finally weighed and measured.  He looked so tiny to me so I was shocked to learn he weighed a healthy 7 lbs 6 ounces!  He measured in at 19.25" long.  Not long after he was born it was shift change at the birthing center and the midwife who came on for the rest of the day was Allison, the same midwife who delivered Arlo! She was the one who did Oliver's newborn exam, and everything checked out just fine.  Erik and I spent the rest of the morning discussing boy's names, and texting family to let them know that the baby had arrived.  We hadn't wanted to wake anyone in the middle of the night to let them know I was in labor, so the first text everyone received was a picture of him and a family picture of the (now) four of us!  After a few hours of discussion, we decided upon the name Oliver William.  Oliver was a name we had considered with others in the months before the birth, and William is after Erik's maternal grandfather.  After getting to know him these past few weeks, I couldn't picture him with any other name.

I am beyond thankful that we had another healthy, supported, natural (and fast!), out-of-hospital birth.  Everything I had worried about in the months leading up to the birth - back labor, long pushing phase, broken tailbone due to an OP position baby, turned out to be non-issues.  Oliver was not born OP, and must have turned sometime during labor.  He entered the world four hours after active labor kicked in, less than five hours after I felt my first contraction, and only 90 minutes after our arrival to the birthing center.   We headed home later that afternoon, and again, just as it had after Arlo was born, felt surreal walking in the door with a tiny little person who wasn't there when we departed just hours earlier.

Welcome to the world, little Oliver!  Your parents and big brother couldn't love you any more if we tried.