life, love, and adding to the nest...
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
11 days old
For anyone who has been following my blog through the pregnancy, you will recognize the fence in these photos as the same spot I stood to take almost all of the maternity pictures. I was hoping to take these when Arlo was 8 days old, which would have been my due date, but as I am learning that with a newborn you rarely get to do things according to your own timeline. These were taken when Arlo was 11 days old. He is already starting to outgrow the onesie he is wearing!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Two week check-up
Arlo had his two week check-up at the birthing center yesterday...
He weighed in at 6 lbs 13 oz., up 10 oz. from birth!
He has grown an inch and a half in length and now measures 20.5" long.
His head circumference is now 14", up an inch from birth.
The midwife said he has all of the reflexes he should have and is developmentally on track.
His PKU tests for metabolic and genetic disorders came back negative.
His blood work all came back normal.
He passed his hearing test.
He might have started out in life as just a little guy but he sure is off to a big start :)
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| Eriks caption for this photo: "Arlo doesn't mind the doctor. He has the disco fever." |
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Smoothie anyone?
Please note, this post is not meant to be read while you are eating food of any kind. Also, if you have a weak stomach, skip this post. Consider yourself warned!
So midway through the pregnancy I learned something that I thought was pretty gross at the time. New mothers were consuming their placentas after childbirth. My immediate reaction was one of disgust. Who would want to eat that?! It looks like an oversized liver and is filled with and covered in blood, who could possibly get past all that and actually eat it??
Well, in our birthing class we really got into the benefits of placentophagy. We learned that consuming the placenta in the immediate post-partum period can:
These things got my attention. I also learned around this same time that humans are the only mammals on the planet that don't consume their placentas after birth of their offspring. That little fact really got me thinking. What do all the animals know that humans don't? There must be some benefit for them, otherwise what reason would they have for doing it? In case you haven't learned this about me yet, I am a big believer in doing things the natural way. There is something to be said about observing nature and natural processes and following that lead. So, follow I did.
Probably the most popular way for women to consume their placentas is by placenta encapsulation. This process is usually performed by someone knowledgeable about encapsulation, and involves cleaning the placenta to remove external clots, dehydrating it, and then grinding it down into powder form and placing it into easy to swallow capsules. Sometimes it is steamed prior to dehydration. This idea sounded all fine and dandy until I realized the cost. Now, I have mentioned before that I am a prettycheap frugal person. The idea of spending nearly $200 for placenta pills had me pretty quickly changing my mind about encapsulation. There had to be another way for me to obtain the benefits without having to drop that kind of money for something that I essentially already owned.
Enter the placenta smoothie. Eating the placenta in it's raw form was another way I read that it could be consumed. Perhaps the most hard core, and definitely not for the faint of heart. My logic was that I could get past the grossness of eating raw placenta if it meant I could save us $200. I read a few recipes and testimonials from the raw placenta eaters and they swore up and down that the placenta could not be tasted at all when added to a fruit smoothie. I figured I would give it a whirl (pun intended) and if I just couldn't do it then, well at least I had tried.
At the birthing center I had the midwife save the placenta after delivery. It was written as such in our birthing plan and we had brought a container to take it home in. They put it in the fridge for me until we left, and we kept it in our fridge when we got home. The day after the birth, I decided it was time for my first smoothie.
This is where things get pretty icky. Don't say you haven't been warned (twice) now!
The hardest part of the whole process was actually "processing" the placenta into usable pieces. My intention was to cut it into cubes and freeze them, and then just throw them into my daily smoothie. Well, when I dumped out that giant, slimy lump onto our cutting board I started to slightly regret my decision. It was covered in blood and needed to be rinsed off. I also had to cut away some parts that didn't look like they would be helpful, including what was left of the umbilical cord. Now, let me remind you that I have been a vegan for nearly seven years now, and I am grossed out by even the idea of cutting up cooked meat. This whole raw, bloody placenta was way over my head. Somehow though, I got through it. I tried to put on my nursing cap and pretend that I was conducting a medical experiment and meanwhile attempted to shut out the idea that I was going to be eating this very gross thing I was cutting up. Finally, I was finished. I had the whole thing cut up neatly into nine cubes, each approximately 1 1/2" square. Placed on parchment paper for easy removal I covered the cubes with foil so Erik wouldn't have to see it in the freezer (he supported me 100% in this process, but is far too squeamish to even look at the frozen cubes).
I made my first smoothie that night, and I was completely shocked to realize that you can't at all taste the placenta. Had I been able to detect even a hint of something odd in the drink, I think it would have shut down the whole operation. Fortunately, it tasted like a regular fruit smoothie and when I got past the idea of what I was drinking, it went down pretty easily. That being said, I always used a straw and sucked it down in as little time as I possibly could. No need to sit around and try to "enjoy" it!
In case you are interested in serving placenta smoothies at your next house party, here is the recipe I came up with:
Ingredients:
Add all the ingredients to your blender and blend. I mean, really blend. You don't want any, ahem, "pieces" unprocessed in your drink. I used our vitamix and blended for at least 1-2 minutes. *For the berries I used a blend of cherries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Think red berries here - you want something to hide the color of the placenta.
Now, the part you are probably wondering about. Did it help me in the post-partum period? I really believe that it did. Now, I don't really have anything to compare it to. I have never given birth before to know if I would have suffered from post-partum depression. However, I will give you this little nugget of info and you can do with it what you wish: I made my smoothies at night before bed. The first few days, I felt amazing. Lot's of energy, breastmilk came in as scheduled without issue, and everything seemed to be going great. But on the fifth day I decided I was too tired to make my smoothie that night and skipped it. Now, this could just be a coincidence - I am really not sure. But the next day I felt awful. I was suddenly overcome with such anxiety I spent a good part of the afternoon crying hysterically. I had these terrible feelings that something awful was going to happen to the baby. Erik tried to comfort me but nothing he said really helped, I just couldn't shake the awful anxious feelings I was having. That night, I went back to the smoothie. Wouldn't you know, the next day I felt fine and gone were the tears and anxiety. Coincidence? Maybe. But I think I am now forever a believer in the power of the placenta.
I finished the rest of the placenta somewhere around 10 days post-partum. I was worried that when it was gone the anxious feelings would return. Fortunately, they never did and (despite being quite sleep deprived) I am still feeling pretty darn good. Although, I might never look at a fruit smoothie the same way again...
 |
| image credit |
So midway through the pregnancy I learned something that I thought was pretty gross at the time. New mothers were consuming their placentas after childbirth. My immediate reaction was one of disgust. Who would want to eat that?! It looks like an oversized liver and is filled with and covered in blood, who could possibly get past all that and actually eat it??
Well, in our birthing class we really got into the benefits of placentophagy. We learned that consuming the placenta in the immediate post-partum period can:
- Help to balance your hormones
- Replenish depleted iron levels
- Assist the uterus to return to its pre-pregnancy state
- Reduce post-natal bleeding
- Increase milk production – this has been proven in a study
- Make for a happier, more enjoyable post-natal period
- Increase your energy levels
These things got my attention. I also learned around this same time that humans are the only mammals on the planet that don't consume their placentas after birth of their offspring. That little fact really got me thinking. What do all the animals know that humans don't? There must be some benefit for them, otherwise what reason would they have for doing it? In case you haven't learned this about me yet, I am a big believer in doing things the natural way. There is something to be said about observing nature and natural processes and following that lead. So, follow I did.
Probably the most popular way for women to consume their placentas is by placenta encapsulation. This process is usually performed by someone knowledgeable about encapsulation, and involves cleaning the placenta to remove external clots, dehydrating it, and then grinding it down into powder form and placing it into easy to swallow capsules. Sometimes it is steamed prior to dehydration. This idea sounded all fine and dandy until I realized the cost. Now, I have mentioned before that I am a pretty
Enter the placenta smoothie. Eating the placenta in it's raw form was another way I read that it could be consumed. Perhaps the most hard core, and definitely not for the faint of heart. My logic was that I could get past the grossness of eating raw placenta if it meant I could save us $200. I read a few recipes and testimonials from the raw placenta eaters and they swore up and down that the placenta could not be tasted at all when added to a fruit smoothie. I figured I would give it a whirl (pun intended) and if I just couldn't do it then, well at least I had tried.
At the birthing center I had the midwife save the placenta after delivery. It was written as such in our birthing plan and we had brought a container to take it home in. They put it in the fridge for me until we left, and we kept it in our fridge when we got home. The day after the birth, I decided it was time for my first smoothie.
This is where things get pretty icky. Don't say you haven't been warned (twice) now!
The hardest part of the whole process was actually "processing" the placenta into usable pieces. My intention was to cut it into cubes and freeze them, and then just throw them into my daily smoothie. Well, when I dumped out that giant, slimy lump onto our cutting board I started to slightly regret my decision. It was covered in blood and needed to be rinsed off. I also had to cut away some parts that didn't look like they would be helpful, including what was left of the umbilical cord. Now, let me remind you that I have been a vegan for nearly seven years now, and I am grossed out by even the idea of cutting up cooked meat. This whole raw, bloody placenta was way over my head. Somehow though, I got through it. I tried to put on my nursing cap and pretend that I was conducting a medical experiment and meanwhile attempted to shut out the idea that I was going to be eating this very gross thing I was cutting up. Finally, I was finished. I had the whole thing cut up neatly into nine cubes, each approximately 1 1/2" square. Placed on parchment paper for easy removal I covered the cubes with foil so Erik wouldn't have to see it in the freezer (he supported me 100% in this process, but is far too squeamish to even look at the frozen cubes).
I made my first smoothie that night, and I was completely shocked to realize that you can't at all taste the placenta. Had I been able to detect even a hint of something odd in the drink, I think it would have shut down the whole operation. Fortunately, it tasted like a regular fruit smoothie and when I got past the idea of what I was drinking, it went down pretty easily. That being said, I always used a straw and sucked it down in as little time as I possibly could. No need to sit around and try to "enjoy" it!
In case you are interested in serving placenta smoothies at your next house party, here is the recipe I came up with:
Ingredients:
- 1/2-3/4 cup frozen berries*
- 1/2 banana
- 1 cup non-dairy milk (I used soy for extra protein)
- 1 piece of raw plaenta
Add all the ingredients to your blender and blend. I mean, really blend. You don't want any, ahem, "pieces" unprocessed in your drink. I used our vitamix and blended for at least 1-2 minutes. *For the berries I used a blend of cherries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Think red berries here - you want something to hide the color of the placenta.
Now, the part you are probably wondering about. Did it help me in the post-partum period? I really believe that it did. Now, I don't really have anything to compare it to. I have never given birth before to know if I would have suffered from post-partum depression. However, I will give you this little nugget of info and you can do with it what you wish: I made my smoothies at night before bed. The first few days, I felt amazing. Lot's of energy, breastmilk came in as scheduled without issue, and everything seemed to be going great. But on the fifth day I decided I was too tired to make my smoothie that night and skipped it. Now, this could just be a coincidence - I am really not sure. But the next day I felt awful. I was suddenly overcome with such anxiety I spent a good part of the afternoon crying hysterically. I had these terrible feelings that something awful was going to happen to the baby. Erik tried to comfort me but nothing he said really helped, I just couldn't shake the awful anxious feelings I was having. That night, I went back to the smoothie. Wouldn't you know, the next day I felt fine and gone were the tears and anxiety. Coincidence? Maybe. But I think I am now forever a believer in the power of the placenta.
I finished the rest of the placenta somewhere around 10 days post-partum. I was worried that when it was gone the anxious feelings would return. Fortunately, they never did and (despite being quite sleep deprived) I am still feeling pretty darn good. Although, I might never look at a fruit smoothie the same way again...
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The first two weeks with Arlo, and my post-partum life
This started out as somewhat of a pregnancy blog, but my plan has
always been to continue writing about life after the baby, and document
how he continues to grow and change over the years. In these early
weeks and months, I hope to continue to write a post at least once a week as
I have been doing, but as I have learned life with a newborn is a busy
one and he is my main priority. However, I can take
advantage of nap times (as the little "milk monster" is currently
sleeping next to me in the bed) to write about our experiences so far...
The Baby:
Somehow we have been blessed with a very sweet, sleepy baby who only cries when he is hungry, has a dirty diaper, or if he is having his diaper/clothes changed. Once these issues are fixed he stops and goes back to his mellow, quiet self. There is a good possibility that this will change when he outgrows the sleepy newborn phase but for now we are sure enjoying it! Today he is two weeks old (what?! how?!) and I can already see lots of changes in him since we brought him home. His neck muscles are getting much stronger and he is always trying to lift up his head and can hold it up (awkwardly) for short periods. He makes the cutest facial expressions including his pursed-lip "Zoolander" face, a worried furrowed-brow face (surely he gets that from his mama), and even smiles, usually after he has a full belly.
I had high hopes that he would love the co-sleeper and have no problem spending the night there from day one. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Starting the evening we brought him home, he has only been able to sleep at night if he is right next to me in bed. But wait, you are thinking, that is so dangerous! Actually, it's not as people think it is. There is a lot of supporting evidence out there about the safety of bedsharing and co-sleeping with parents, even in the newborn days. I was nervous the first couple of nights but I am sleeping so light these days and I actually wake up a little stiff since I stay in the same exact position all night while he is next to me. If I try the co-sleeper at night he wiggles around and makes little noises, and it seems that neither of us rest very well. The instant he snuggles up next to my chest he is out like a light, and will sleep for several hours like that. During the day, he will nap just about anyplace. I am not sure how he can tell the difference at night. But for now, his swaddle wrap and mamas chest seem to be the answer to a (somewhat) good nights sleep in our house. Oh, in case you are wondering about Erik, he has been sleeping in the guest room from our second night home until now. We realized it is helpful to wake up with one of us very well rested, and quite honestly I don't need him at night. Since I am already up feeding Arlo I might as well be the one to change him too. I would much rather have a well-rested, good spirited, helpful husband. So this has been working for us!
When Arlo was three days old we had a home visit from one of the midwives from the birthing center. She did his PKU blood test, weighed him, and did a few other assessments. He passed the tests just fine! Babies lose up to 7% of their birth weight in the first few days of life, and if it's more than 10% than is a cause for concern. Arlo lost 5oz, weighting in at 5 lbs 14 oz. which was within the appropriate range. Our next appointment is on Thursday of this week. We will find out then how much weight this little milk monster has put on!
Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding, like pregnancy and birth, is another process that I have to marvel at how natural the experience has been for me. I knew it was going to be a learning experience for us both, and fortunately we both seemed to get the hang of it pretty quick From his very first night, Arlo has been excellent with latching on and eating. The first few days were a little anxiety-provoking for me, since my milk hadn't yet come in and I was only producing colostrum, it was hard to tell if he was getting very much to eat. However, the nine meconium poops he had in the first 24 hours of life told us he probably was, and by day #2 and #3 he really started filling those diapers, so we were pretty sure he was well hydrated and doing fine.
On our third night at home, we did have a bit of a rough night where he cluster fed from 10pm until 3:40am. We only slept from 1-1:30am that entire time and I was utterly exhausted. At 1:45am I could barely stay awake to feed him and tearfully went and got Erik from the guest room. After some holding, soothing, and a few more feedings, we all finally ended up asleep. I was told the next day when the midwife came over for our home visit that Arlo probably started getting the sensation of hunger that night and he just wanted to feel his belly as full. Babies apparently get that sensation during the second or third day of life, and it just so happens we were lucky enough to experience it in the middle of the night! The next day my milk came in and life has been much better since then. Now he will eat anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, and then sleep for several hours in his milk-induced coma. If we reach the three hour mark I will wake him up to eat again, and he usually will happily take the breast when offered.
Post-Partum Body:
Should I talk about the good or the bad first? Let's go with the good. I have been surprised at how quickly my body tried to go back to it's prepregnancy state. Even from right after the birth, within a very short time (maybe an hour or two??) my uterus had shrunk way down in my belly. Below my (now slightly odd shaped) belly button it felt like a hard grapefruit, a fraction of the size it was with baby inside. Immediately following birth, the rest of my belly felt like a squishy marshmallow and was still pretty round. To my surprise though, things quickly deflated and I actually pulled out a pair of nonmaternity jeans one week after he was born and shocked to see that they fit. I didn't expect this, and attribute it largely to the fact that I was so sick at the end of pregnancy, I ended up losing four pounds in the last two weeks before birth. My weight gain prior to that was only 20 lbs, so I went into the birth only 16 lbs heavier than I was before I got pregnant. I don't really consider that very healthy and honestly would rather have an extra 5-10 lbs on my body right now if I could have avoided being as sick as I was. I will say that post-partum I also used a belly band which I think helped "deflate" my puffy belly. The skin looks a little different, is a bit looser, and my belly button has a new shape. My Mom said the skin will tighten up a bit but even if it doesn't I wouldn't care much. I am content with how things are and quite shocked it happened so fast.
Now for the bad. The "girl parts" after a vaginal delivery, woah baby. Ouchie. Even though I didn't have any major tears and didn't require stitches, things still got a little wounded down there when an entire human came rocketing out. If I didn't have to sit down or pee I probably would have been a lot more comfortable. However these unavoidable situations were a major source of discomfort for the first week after delivery. The pain really eased up at the one week mark but I wasn't expecting it to be so sore (or just plain miserable when going pee). I ended up taking tylenol and ibuprofen to help with the pain, as well as using ice and this balm made for the occasion. I was told it could take many weeks to heal completely and I might bleed for up to six weeks. At two weeks there is virtually no discomfort although I feel there is still some healing left to do.
Our schedule and activities:
For the first week, I had to write down everything that we did. Every feeding, how long they lasted, which side I fed him on, wet and poopy diapers, nap times for Arlo, and even when I slept! I never though I would be "one of those women" who couldn't remember which breast I fed my child on just an hour or two prior, but I have discovered that between the sleep deprivation and adjusting to newborn life in general it really is virtually impossible to remember such things. I tried to use a bracelet to help remember which side to nurse on next, although that only works if I remember to move the bracelet from wrist to wrist - which I rarely remember to do. At two weeks it is becoming easier to remember, and since I am trying to feed him on just one side per feeding (depending on how hungry he is this usually works but not always) this allows me to feel my breasts to determine which one is fuller for the next feeding.
Sleeping is pretty much as expected with a newborn, I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time since he was born. We try and go to bed around 10pm, that is - have him fed, changed, and laying down to sleep by that time. However it is more the norm recently for him to get a little fussy around that hour, and sometimes we don't actually settle in to sleep until closer to midnight. I have also learned that newborns poop after almost every single feeding, it is a reflex that they have. When something goes in, something has to come out. I used to change him prior to nursing to ensure he was awake enough to eat, then feed him, and then often had to change him again after cause he would poop as he was nursing. Now I have learned, feed first, wait a little bit for a BM, then change him. He hates having his diaper changed and usually cries for a few minutes afterwards, but I give him 3-5 minutes of comfort nursing after a change and it usually puts him right to sleep.
Our daytime activities have not really developed into any set schedule yet, and I don't really expect them to until he is about six weeks old. I always follow his hunger cues and feed him on demand. Sometimes this means eating twice in an hour, sometimes he will sleep for three hours between feedings. They say "sleep when baby sleeps" but as someone who never naps and always likes to be busy, I have struggled with this advice. However, once the sleep deprivation started catching up with me I gave in to the urge to nap, and boy, do I feel great when I do. Arlo and I usually nap together in bed and I feel awesome afterwards.
Can't forget the Daddy:
For the first several days after Arlo was born I pretty much stayed in bed most of the day and held what I called my three day "nurse-in" (which turned out to be closer to five days) and did nothing but rest, feed Arlo, change him, and work on getting my energy back. I could never have done this without the support and help from Erik. He took on the role of meal preparer, dog walker, house cleaner, and general caretaker of both Arlo and me. He brought me three meals a day in bed, and often had to feed me as I fed Arlo. Babies seem to know when you want to eat and instantly get hungry at that time as well. I will look back fondly on those times, the three of us eating together in bed, Erik stopping every few minutes to give me a bite of my meal.
Gradually I have started to transition out of the bedroom but even at the two week mark, still do most of his feedings and diaper changes right in the bedroom. I have everything there that I need to feed, change, and dress him so until I relocate that stuff to his nursery I suppose we will continue with what we are doing since it seems to be working for now.
What comes next:
I am not really sure how to answer this, as parenting kind of feels like something you make up as you go along. My plan has always been to take off six months before I go back to work part time, one or two days per week. I had expected to have Arlo sometime in the middle of January (like this week!) and be off until mid July. Between being sick in December and then having him two weeks earlier than I had expected, I have already been off work for a full month. I still plan to take another six off, and just enjoy my time with the little guy. I keep having this thought that I will need to go back to work soon, it's hard to wrap my mind around the idea of having so much time off...
Yesterday was a particularly trying day for us, Arlo seems to have started his first big growth spurt and started feeding almost constantly through the entire day. Erik went back to work for half days this week, so I was left home alone until early afternoon with a very hungry and somewhat fussy baby. At 1:00pm when he arrived home, I was still in my PJ's and had accomplished virtually nothing so far for the day, and all I wanted to do was to shower and wash my hair. I was grateful he was here to help soothe Arlo so I could get a few things done. By 4:00pm I had taken a shower, and done a load of laundry but not much else. I started being hard on myself for what had felt to me like a "wasted day". It was last night that I started to realize that Arlo is now my full time job and that even if I spend the entire day nursing and changing him, those are still things to consider as accomplishments. These mommy tasks may not seem like things I can cross off my to-do list, but they are the most important things I will do all day. I am just starting to realize the importance of this and what is really in the job description of this new role called "mom".
The Baby:
Somehow we have been blessed with a very sweet, sleepy baby who only cries when he is hungry, has a dirty diaper, or if he is having his diaper/clothes changed. Once these issues are fixed he stops and goes back to his mellow, quiet self. There is a good possibility that this will change when he outgrows the sleepy newborn phase but for now we are sure enjoying it! Today he is two weeks old (what?! how?!) and I can already see lots of changes in him since we brought him home. His neck muscles are getting much stronger and he is always trying to lift up his head and can hold it up (awkwardly) for short periods. He makes the cutest facial expressions including his pursed-lip "Zoolander" face, a worried furrowed-brow face (surely he gets that from his mama), and even smiles, usually after he has a full belly.
 |
| "Blue Steel" Zoolander look... Arlo 12 days old |
I had high hopes that he would love the co-sleeper and have no problem spending the night there from day one. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Starting the evening we brought him home, he has only been able to sleep at night if he is right next to me in bed. But wait, you are thinking, that is so dangerous! Actually, it's not as people think it is. There is a lot of supporting evidence out there about the safety of bedsharing and co-sleeping with parents, even in the newborn days. I was nervous the first couple of nights but I am sleeping so light these days and I actually wake up a little stiff since I stay in the same exact position all night while he is next to me. If I try the co-sleeper at night he wiggles around and makes little noises, and it seems that neither of us rest very well. The instant he snuggles up next to my chest he is out like a light, and will sleep for several hours like that. During the day, he will nap just about anyplace. I am not sure how he can tell the difference at night. But for now, his swaddle wrap and mamas chest seem to be the answer to a (somewhat) good nights sleep in our house. Oh, in case you are wondering about Erik, he has been sleeping in the guest room from our second night home until now. We realized it is helpful to wake up with one of us very well rested, and quite honestly I don't need him at night. Since I am already up feeding Arlo I might as well be the one to change him too. I would much rather have a well-rested, good spirited, helpful husband. So this has been working for us!
When Arlo was three days old we had a home visit from one of the midwives from the birthing center. She did his PKU blood test, weighed him, and did a few other assessments. He passed the tests just fine! Babies lose up to 7% of their birth weight in the first few days of life, and if it's more than 10% than is a cause for concern. Arlo lost 5oz, weighting in at 5 lbs 14 oz. which was within the appropriate range. Our next appointment is on Thursday of this week. We will find out then how much weight this little milk monster has put on!
Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding, like pregnancy and birth, is another process that I have to marvel at how natural the experience has been for me. I knew it was going to be a learning experience for us both, and fortunately we both seemed to get the hang of it pretty quick From his very first night, Arlo has been excellent with latching on and eating. The first few days were a little anxiety-provoking for me, since my milk hadn't yet come in and I was only producing colostrum, it was hard to tell if he was getting very much to eat. However, the nine meconium poops he had in the first 24 hours of life told us he probably was, and by day #2 and #3 he really started filling those diapers, so we were pretty sure he was well hydrated and doing fine.
On our third night at home, we did have a bit of a rough night where he cluster fed from 10pm until 3:40am. We only slept from 1-1:30am that entire time and I was utterly exhausted. At 1:45am I could barely stay awake to feed him and tearfully went and got Erik from the guest room. After some holding, soothing, and a few more feedings, we all finally ended up asleep. I was told the next day when the midwife came over for our home visit that Arlo probably started getting the sensation of hunger that night and he just wanted to feel his belly as full. Babies apparently get that sensation during the second or third day of life, and it just so happens we were lucky enough to experience it in the middle of the night! The next day my milk came in and life has been much better since then. Now he will eat anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, and then sleep for several hours in his milk-induced coma. If we reach the three hour mark I will wake him up to eat again, and he usually will happily take the breast when offered.
Post-Partum Body:
Should I talk about the good or the bad first? Let's go with the good. I have been surprised at how quickly my body tried to go back to it's prepregnancy state. Even from right after the birth, within a very short time (maybe an hour or two??) my uterus had shrunk way down in my belly. Below my (now slightly odd shaped) belly button it felt like a hard grapefruit, a fraction of the size it was with baby inside. Immediately following birth, the rest of my belly felt like a squishy marshmallow and was still pretty round. To my surprise though, things quickly deflated and I actually pulled out a pair of nonmaternity jeans one week after he was born and shocked to see that they fit. I didn't expect this, and attribute it largely to the fact that I was so sick at the end of pregnancy, I ended up losing four pounds in the last two weeks before birth. My weight gain prior to that was only 20 lbs, so I went into the birth only 16 lbs heavier than I was before I got pregnant. I don't really consider that very healthy and honestly would rather have an extra 5-10 lbs on my body right now if I could have avoided being as sick as I was. I will say that post-partum I also used a belly band which I think helped "deflate" my puffy belly. The skin looks a little different, is a bit looser, and my belly button has a new shape. My Mom said the skin will tighten up a bit but even if it doesn't I wouldn't care much. I am content with how things are and quite shocked it happened so fast.
Now for the bad. The "girl parts" after a vaginal delivery, woah baby. Ouchie. Even though I didn't have any major tears and didn't require stitches, things still got a little wounded down there when an entire human came rocketing out. If I didn't have to sit down or pee I probably would have been a lot more comfortable. However these unavoidable situations were a major source of discomfort for the first week after delivery. The pain really eased up at the one week mark but I wasn't expecting it to be so sore (or just plain miserable when going pee). I ended up taking tylenol and ibuprofen to help with the pain, as well as using ice and this balm made for the occasion. I was told it could take many weeks to heal completely and I might bleed for up to six weeks. At two weeks there is virtually no discomfort although I feel there is still some healing left to do.
Our schedule and activities:
For the first week, I had to write down everything that we did. Every feeding, how long they lasted, which side I fed him on, wet and poopy diapers, nap times for Arlo, and even when I slept! I never though I would be "one of those women" who couldn't remember which breast I fed my child on just an hour or two prior, but I have discovered that between the sleep deprivation and adjusting to newborn life in general it really is virtually impossible to remember such things. I tried to use a bracelet to help remember which side to nurse on next, although that only works if I remember to move the bracelet from wrist to wrist - which I rarely remember to do. At two weeks it is becoming easier to remember, and since I am trying to feed him on just one side per feeding (depending on how hungry he is this usually works but not always) this allows me to feel my breasts to determine which one is fuller for the next feeding.
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| A day in the life with a newborn. This was on 1-6-14, when Arlo was 6 days old. |
Sleeping is pretty much as expected with a newborn, I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time since he was born. We try and go to bed around 10pm, that is - have him fed, changed, and laying down to sleep by that time. However it is more the norm recently for him to get a little fussy around that hour, and sometimes we don't actually settle in to sleep until closer to midnight. I have also learned that newborns poop after almost every single feeding, it is a reflex that they have. When something goes in, something has to come out. I used to change him prior to nursing to ensure he was awake enough to eat, then feed him, and then often had to change him again after cause he would poop as he was nursing. Now I have learned, feed first, wait a little bit for a BM, then change him. He hates having his diaper changed and usually cries for a few minutes afterwards, but I give him 3-5 minutes of comfort nursing after a change and it usually puts him right to sleep.
Our daytime activities have not really developed into any set schedule yet, and I don't really expect them to until he is about six weeks old. I always follow his hunger cues and feed him on demand. Sometimes this means eating twice in an hour, sometimes he will sleep for three hours between feedings. They say "sleep when baby sleeps" but as someone who never naps and always likes to be busy, I have struggled with this advice. However, once the sleep deprivation started catching up with me I gave in to the urge to nap, and boy, do I feel great when I do. Arlo and I usually nap together in bed and I feel awesome afterwards.
Can't forget the Daddy:
For the first several days after Arlo was born I pretty much stayed in bed most of the day and held what I called my three day "nurse-in" (which turned out to be closer to five days) and did nothing but rest, feed Arlo, change him, and work on getting my energy back. I could never have done this without the support and help from Erik. He took on the role of meal preparer, dog walker, house cleaner, and general caretaker of both Arlo and me. He brought me three meals a day in bed, and often had to feed me as I fed Arlo. Babies seem to know when you want to eat and instantly get hungry at that time as well. I will look back fondly on those times, the three of us eating together in bed, Erik stopping every few minutes to give me a bite of my meal.
Gradually I have started to transition out of the bedroom but even at the two week mark, still do most of his feedings and diaper changes right in the bedroom. I have everything there that I need to feed, change, and dress him so until I relocate that stuff to his nursery I suppose we will continue with what we are doing since it seems to be working for now.
What comes next:
I am not really sure how to answer this, as parenting kind of feels like something you make up as you go along. My plan has always been to take off six months before I go back to work part time, one or two days per week. I had expected to have Arlo sometime in the middle of January (like this week!) and be off until mid July. Between being sick in December and then having him two weeks earlier than I had expected, I have already been off work for a full month. I still plan to take another six off, and just enjoy my time with the little guy. I keep having this thought that I will need to go back to work soon, it's hard to wrap my mind around the idea of having so much time off...
Yesterday was a particularly trying day for us, Arlo seems to have started his first big growth spurt and started feeding almost constantly through the entire day. Erik went back to work for half days this week, so I was left home alone until early afternoon with a very hungry and somewhat fussy baby. At 1:00pm when he arrived home, I was still in my PJ's and had accomplished virtually nothing so far for the day, and all I wanted to do was to shower and wash my hair. I was grateful he was here to help soothe Arlo so I could get a few things done. By 4:00pm I had taken a shower, and done a load of laundry but not much else. I started being hard on myself for what had felt to me like a "wasted day". It was last night that I started to realize that Arlo is now my full time job and that even if I spend the entire day nursing and changing him, those are still things to consider as accomplishments. These mommy tasks may not seem like things I can cross off my to-do list, but they are the most important things I will do all day. I am just starting to realize the importance of this and what is really in the job description of this new role called "mom".
Monday, January 6, 2014
The birth of Arlo Cameron B.
For two years now I have been completely obsessed with reading birth stories. Anywhere I could find one - books, blogs, birthing websites... I read home birth stories, hospital births stories, c-sections, stories on multiples, babies who came early and babies who came late. There were stories about babies born in cars, on sidewalks, toilets, and in elevators. I have been waiting to have my own story to share, and I now finally do. Here is the birth story of Arlo Cameron B.
Arlo was born on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013. Thinking back to when my labor started, I can't really pinpoint an exact time. I had been having mild contractions for a few days, but nothing that really felt like it could be the start of something more. I was told by the midwives and knew from our Bradley birthing class that those contractions (and the bloody show I was having) could last for days or even a week or two. I didn't get too excited about them, and honestly was hoping I had a few more days before he came. For 16 days prior to giving birth, I had been very, very sick. First with the flu and an ear infection, and eventually suspected pneumonia. In fact, the day prior to having Arlo, Erik had taken me in to our primary doctors office to be evaluated for the high fevers, chills, and fatigue that had returned over the weekend. I was started on antibiotics and a strong cough medicine and was told to just rest until the birth. Everyone knew how exhausted and weak I had been for over two weeks, and I think we all shared the same fear that I was going to be in trouble if labor started before I was well again. Little did we all know that Arlo had his own plans, he was coming out and was going to do it on his schedule, whether I was ready or not.
Monday night before going to bed I fortunately started to feel much better that I had been. The fever was finally gone and antibiotics seemed to be working. I took my cough medicine as instructed and was glad I did. The entire night I had regular contractions every 10-30 minutes. They were strong enough to wake me up but thanks to the medicine on board I was able to sleep between every one. It still felt like a long night waking up so frequently, but at least when I got up for the day I had a collective seven or so hours of sleep in me. Erik and I got up together at 6am, he was headed off to work and I couldn't sleep through the contractions any longer. I told him about the night I had, but neither one of us thought this could be the "real thing". We had breakfast together and still the moderate contractions continued, but seemed to be in an irregular pattern. We decided Erik could head off to work, his office is only a mile away and he is able to be home in minutes if needed. As well, being it was New Years Eve his office was closing early for the day, and he would be home mid afternoon. Before he left though, he became extremely motivated to make sure our birth bags were packed and waiting by the door, just in case this turned into something more. He went into work an hour late so he could help me finish getting my bag together and pack his own. Everything was ready to go and by the back door when he left for work.
After he left, I decided to do a few last minute things on my "birthing to do list". I spent a good hour transferring music and relaxation tracks onto my iPod so it was ready for the birth. I talked to my Mom somewhere around 10am to update her, but said it would probably be a few days yet before anything really happened. I remember I had to set down the phone twice during the short conversation, just to get through the contractions I had while talking to her. At 11am, I decided to relax on the couch and watch The Price is Right (after all, being sick at home the last couple of weeks had got me hooked on it!) I barely remember the show starting, and this is when things started to heat up. The contractions were getting stronger and definitely closer together. If I had to say, this was really the start of active labor. I went into the bathroom and was having a lot of trouble emptying my bladder, there was so much pelvic pressure and well, a baby head in the way. I remember leaning against the wall during those contractions, and eventually made my way back to the living room floor where I had what felt like a 4-5 minute long contraction. I was starting to lost my composure a little bit and finally decided to ask Erik to come home. At 11:51am I sent a text that said exactly "Needyou polease." His reply one minute later was "ok, be there soon."
Erik made it in the door in what felt like less than 10 minutes, although he says that it took him around 30 to finish what he was doing at work and come home. He took one look at me having a contraction on the couch and wide-eyed asked if I had called the midwife yet. I tried to explain there was no possible way that I could, and he grabbed my phone and called the Birthing Center immediately. Erik seemed a little confused as to why I hadn't been timing the most recent contractions and again I tried to say there was just no way I could do anything at that point besides what I was doing. The midwife told Erik to time them for 30 minutes and call them back. We were both surprised to learn that the contractions were coming just 3 minutes apart and lasting a minute or longer every time. I still remember telling him at this point (a little tearfully) that I was worried this was still early labor and that "I just wasn't very good at this." He assured me I was doing great and with contractions spaced this close together, it was criteria to go in. Between the contractions, realizing we would probably be leaving soon, Erik made us lunch, and I inhaled a veggie burger and 1/2 an avocado. During this time I also remember looking at Erik and telling him that even though it looked like I wasn't doing well, that I really was okay and said firmly "I don't want any drugs! I can handle this." He reassured me that I could, and kept telling me what a great job I was doing. After 30 minutes went by he called back the midwife and gave her the numbers. Upon hearing the information, and my loud moans in the background, she told us to leave right away.
Erik was urgently trying to get me in the car but I told him I had to change my pants, brush my teeth, and that I wanted to shower. He said no way to the shower but if I brushed my teeth fast I could do it before we left. He told me I didn't need to change out of my PJ pants but I insisted. He put on my track-style pants and immediately I told him they were too tight around my belly and took them off again. After the contraction that I was experiencing finished I looked around the room, decided there were no better pants to wear, and put the track pants back on. Erik said it was really time to go, I needed to get in the car, and now.
For some reason I had no problem taking my time getting my purse and last minute things together. Erik was quickly cleaning out the back of his Volvo wagon so I had the entire back to lay down in. There was no way on earth I was sitting in the front seat, and the back seat was taken up mostly by the car seat (which I was so insistent he install just days earlier!) I climbed in the back and was so happy I had thought to grab my pillow. I ended up in some crazy position with my arm draped over the back seat groping for any belt or buckle I could hang onto, and buried my face in my pillow during the five contractions I had on the 14 minute drive to the birthing center. I told Erik to pull over during contractions cause I couldn't handle the bumps and he did, but after the second one I told him to just keep driving. This was a mistake, driving through the contraction was just too much to handle. Erik was still timing them, so just before I was due for the next he pulled off the road and waited for it to pass, and for this I was so grateful. The last one was just as we pulled in the parking lot. Erik helped me out of the car and said he would come back for our things, which at the time sounded fine - in my mind I wasn't even sure if we would be staying. I was still at this point worried I wasn't even 4cm dilated and they might send me home.
Our arrival time to the birthing center was around 2pm. As we walked in the door, the midwife Allison and nurse Cheryl were standing there waiting for me. I felt a contraction coming on and asked them "where do I go?!" They asked if I had a birthing suite that I preferred. "Anyplace with a tub!" I said. They told me that all four rooms had tubs and then I think I started loudly vocalizing my need for a bed - and now. They pointed me to a room and I jumped on the bed and buried my face in the pillows for the next contraction. Allison and Cheryl followed us in the room and immediately started filling the tub. Erik tried to quietly tell Allison that our birthing instructor had recommended that we wait until the end of labor to utilize the tub for pain relief. She half smiled and said "based on the way she is acting this is the end." Erik was clearly surprised, and I was still not even sure I was really in active labor - ha! Allison asked me if she could do a cervical check and I told her yes, but to please be gentle as there was so much pelvic pressure already. "Kendra!" she said half laughing and half surprised. "You are 9cm!" Erik was shocked and so happy, and for the first time I had the realization that not only was I really in labor, but this baby was coming, and soon.
While the tub was filling I told them I really needed to empty my bladder and had been having difficulty doing so at home. They helped me get to the bathroom and I still couldn't go. Allison suggested that I get in the tub and see if the warm water helped. I asked her "I can pee in the tub?" And she said "of course!" I have to say, we were so lucky Allison was the midwife for the birth. The birthing center has several that work on rotating on-call shifts, so it was luck of the draw for who would be present for the birth. Allison had been one of our favorites during our prenatal care, and it must have been fate because she was also also the midwife who I saw the most frequently during our visits. She is very experienced as a midwife, and has even owned her own practice in the past. Of all the midwives in the birthing center, she is by far the most calm and laid-back, and I think it would take a lot to get her excited or nervous about anything. Exactly the personality you want for someone who works in this field. Anyway, back to the story.
When the tub was ready I took off everything I was wearing and got in. The warm water felt amazing. I remember looking around and noticed that Allison and Cheryl were reviewing our birth plan we had brought in during our last appointment, and Erik was setting up the video camera. For about 5 minutes I was feeling content and the first contraction or two didn't seem too unbearable. But then things changed. The intensity of the contractions that followed were almost indescribable. It was at this point where my mind started to go to the dark place. I doubted by ability to continue and said things like "I can't do this anymore" and at the beginning of contractions started moaning "no, no, no" as if that might make it stop. Erik told me that I was in transition and it would be over soon and kept reminding me that it wouldn't be long now until we met our little boy. He was amazing, kneeling by the tub the entire time saying all the right things. Eventually I told them I wanted out of the tub but Allison said that most of the time women want to get right back in, so I stayed put. Well sort of stayed put. I went from hands and knees to draping myself over the edge of the tub grabbing Erik's hand and then back to hands and knees, trying to find something to bring relief. At this point I felt like there was no way out, and even had the thought (although I never said it out loud) that our next baby would be in a hospital where they could give me drugs to completely knock me out and then somehow painlessly extract the baby from my body. Ha! The mind does some wild things during transition.
After about 45 min or an hour in the tub Cheryl mentioned that I still hadn't emptied my bladder and they talked about putting in a temporary catheter to drain it. I was very much in favor of this. I knew ahead of time it was likely since I was having difficulty with that in the beginning and the pelvic pressure was only increasing at this point. I knew a full bladder wouldn't let the baby descend and I didn't want anything to prolong this process! Even though as a nurse I knew that I needed to get out of the tub for this, I still asked in my irrational state if they could just do the catheter in the tub. Looking back, this was a hilarious thing for me to even think since I know it is a sterile procedure, but again I just wasn't my usual right minded self. They helped me to the bed and drained 250cc of urine from me. This isn't a lot for most people, but in my pregnant state it was probably maximum capacity for my bladder so it was a good thing they helped me get it out.
I stayed on the bed for the rest of the labor. Again, I tried different positions trying to bring relief for the contractions which were now coming one right after the next, giving me very short breaks between them. My preferred position was hands and knees but Allison started to suggest I try different things to help bring the baby down. She had encouraged me while I was in the tub to reach inside and feel the baby's head, and I could feel both the bag of waters and his head just behind it. I reached down several times to feel this as it was the best motivation I had to keep doing the very hard work I was doing. The bag of waters felt like a small water balloon and his head felt really hard in comparison. I think she said he was at zero or +1 station around the time I got on the bed, so he still had to move down the birth canal a bit. Allison checked me again at some point and said anytime I had the urge I was clear to start pushing. I reminded her I didn't want to push until my body told me to, and she said that was fine but we should start trying things like squatting to encourage him to move down. In my birth plan, I had put that I preferred to push in a squatting position and thought I might even deliver on the birthing stool. In reality, I hated squatting and felt like it increased the pressure to a level I couldn't handle. Allison brought in the birthing ball and put it on the bed and they supported me while I draped myself over the ball and labored a bit like that. I soon after went back to hands and knees because that was the only thing that felt tolerable to me.
The only monitoring they did of the baby during the entire labor was intermittent with the handheld doppler. I hated when they checked, not that it hurt but I felt like it took me out of my zone a little bit. His checks were fine until I had been on the bed about 30 minutes or so. They realized his heart rate was a bit low in the 110's and he was having a little trouble recovering after contractions, likely to do his position on the cord. They never got excited, but Allison said at this time it was better that he come out sooner than later. I asked her if she broke my water if that would speed things along. She said it might, but knew it was in our birth plan not to have an artificial rupture of membranes and I feel like she wanted to respect our wishes. I knew at this point it wouldn't matter if they were broke by her or naturally, he was coming soon and nothing was going to stop that. I remember getting a bit frustrated and saying something like "geez this is really a strong bag of waters I have!" and Allison said that meant I was well nourished. I thought about it for a moment and then asked her to go ahead and break them for me. I think there was some discussion between her and Erik at this time to make sure everyone was okay with this intervention, and finally I said "yes, do it!" She broke the water but nothing came out at the time. She said with the next push it would. At some point his heart rate was rechecked and they said he must of moved off the cord and everything was normal again. I was curious to see the amniotic fluid come out so I gave a little push. Still on my hands and knees, I looked down between my legs to see a small waterfall of light brown fluid come out. All I could say was "it's brown" but I knew that meant he had passed meconium which could indicate fetal distress. Neither Allison or Cheryl got excited or nervous, or if they were they certainly didn't show it. But I knew it was time to get him out and the only way to do that was really start pushing.
I had read in so many birth stories and books that pushing often felt good to women, it was a way to relive some of the pain from the contractions and was often a welcome phase at the end of labor. I can't say this was my experience. I was having so much rectal pressure at this time I said at one point that it felt like something inside of me was going to break. Allison assured me with a little laugh that "that usually doesn't happen." Our birthing instructor had described this feeling as the urge to "poop out a cantaloupe" and I have to say that is a pretty accurate description. Allison said the only way to make that feeling go away was to push him out. They had me move from my hands and knees position to a right side laying position and held up my left leg during contractions. I gave a couple of good, grunting, red faced pushes and suddenly felt his head low in the birth canal. The sensation of this was so intense that the motivation to push him out became stronger than the contractions themselves.
With his head so low in the birth canal, I guess they could really see things happening down below. I wasn't sure how Erik was going to respond to this phase of the labor. He is pretty squeamish with blood and body fluids and I had envisioned him hanging out near my head, away from the action. Boy was I wrong. He was standing with the midwife, offering encouraging comments to me but also saying things like "wow, you have to see this, this is amazing!" He grabbed the mirror nearby and tried to show me what they were seeing. I couldn't really figure out what I was looking at with the quick glance I took in the mirror but took their word for it. Unable to stand the pressure of the head in it's current spot, I used the next contraction to push with everything I had. I felt something come out, and felt the infamous "ring of fire" although it lasted about a half second. If I hadn't been waiting for it I might not even have noticed. "Is he out?" I asked. "Just the head" Allison told me. My next thought was "well I am gonna fix that quick!" and still using the power of the contraction I was having gave one more giant push. Out the rest of him came onto the bed and into the hands of Allison. Erik said he came out so fast that Allison tried to put her hands out to slow him down. I had written in the birth plan that I wanted slow, gentle pushing and warm massage oil for lubrication. The nurse Cheryl was still in the process of getting the oil when Arlo came rushing out into the world. He wasn't waiting and neither was I! Arlo was born at 4:16pm, just over two hours after we arrived at the birthing center.
Allison immediately placed Arlo up on my belly. His cord was a little short to come all the way up to my chest so he stayed there for a while as I had requested delayed cord clamping to allow him to receive all the blood in the cord. I couldn't believe he had arrived. I told him I loved him already and how cute he was, even though I couldn't even really see him very well! I asked Erik if the baby "looked like an Arlo" and Erik said yes. We had kept the name a surprise to everyone, even our parents, until he was born, and had wanted to make sure he fit the name. Erik at this point was by my side with the biggest smile on his face. We were both in a little state of shock, everything seemed to happen so fast and suddenly here we were looking at our little boy. Erik came around and laid with me on the bed while we waited to cut the cord. When the time came, Allison asked Erik if he wanted to do it and even though initially he thought he might pass on that, happily took the opportunity to be the one to separate us. Arlo was dried off and I couldn't believe how clean he looked. Not a speck of vernix on him, which is rare since he arrived 8 days earlier than he was scheduled. He didn't cry too much right away, but made a few small whimpers and they listened to him and said his lungs were clear. He pinked up pretty quickly with the exception of his little hands which stayed purple for a bit. They told me this was normal and not to worry.
Between the burning sensation I was starting to feel down below, the fact that Arlo was born with his hand over his face, and the knowledge that a short pushing phase alone can cause tearing, I started to think that some serious damage had been done. Allison took a look and said that I didn't have any big tears, just what she called "skid marks" and I didn't require stitches or anything. I was happy to hear that, but still had no problem accepting some topical lidocaine ointment that Allison offered. She told me if I "kept my legs together" post-partum that it would help with healing. Erik used this opportunity to make a joke and said "well if she does that then this won't happen again!" Ha! The placenta was delivered naturally a short time later. It detached on its own and came out with a very small push. I don't remember any pain or discomfort with the placenta delivery. I do remember it being a weird sensation and felt so empty when it came out. I actually said "that felt good!" after it was delivered.
Once Arlo and I were both checked over with him on my chest, we were left alone to bond and admire our new baby. Allison and Cheryl left and closed the door, and for an hour or so it was just the three of us. Eventually Cheryl came back in to help me try and breastfeed for the first time. Arlo was a bit sleepy at the time and didn't want to latch on right away. However, we tried again a bit later and after a few attempts he started to get the hang of it. He was so quiet and mellow right from the start, but was wide eyed and alert most of the first couple of hours. After our bonding and breastfeeding time, Arlo was weighed and measured. He weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds 3 ounces, and measured 19 inches long. I knew he was going to be small, but was surprised he was that tiny!
Arlo was given to Erik so they could enjoy some skin-to-skin time together, and Cheryl helped me up to the bathroom and back to the bed. I was very surprised at how good I was feeling post-partum. I had a protein bar, a big bowl of noodle soup, and then another granola bar - I was starving. And so thirsty... I think I drank over a liter of water in a short time following the birth. I kept having Erik fill my water bottle with diluted lemonade, I couldn't get enough. After I ate I took a shower in the tub which felt wonderful. Clean and fed with a new little baby in my arms, I felt absolutely amazing and sat on the bed, completely in awe of what a great experience the past few hours had been.
The hours after birth flew by at record speed. I have been told that labor is a time warp but I felt it continued until we got home that evening. Before we left, a different nurse came in (Cheryl had left for the day) and provided our discharge teaching and paperwork. We were ready to head home around 10pm (just about 6 hours after the birth) but Arlo decided he wanted to try to feed again at that time so we stayed until 11pm, and had what I would consider our first really successful feeding session. Finally dressed and loaded into the infant car seat which looked way too big for his tiny body, we were ready to head home.
Coming in the door with Arlo felt surreal, I didn't really think when we left the house that afternoon we would soon be returning home with him outside my body. One of the first things I did when I got home was eat another meal - I was still so hungry! We put the car seat on the floor in the living room floor and sat next to him admiring his sweet, sleepy self. Our dog, Lucy, was going nuts trying to smell him and figure out this new little addition to the family. When we let her near Arlo, she used her nose to try and push his blanket over him. I am not sure if she was being motherly or trying to cover him up as if to say "nope, don't like it, take him away!" We had turned on the TV to watch the New Years Eve shows, and the next thing I knew I was listening to the countdown for the ball drop. I couldn't imagine a better way to have rung in the new year!
The whole birthing experience for me was quite possibly the very best experience of my life. I feel so lucky that I was able to have the natural birth experience that we had prepared and planned for. We spent two hours a week for the 12 weeks prior to the delivery taking the Bradley Method birthing classes, supplemented that knowledge with additional books and videos, and went into the birth well-educated about the process. I know a lot of unexpected things can happen during labor, and while we were confident in our choice to have a birth at a freestanding birthing center, we knew there was always the possibility of an unexpected emergency which would require a hospital transfer. We had a separate page in our birthing plan for things we desired in the event of a transfer, and even our wishes should a ceserian section become necessary. Fortunately, we didn't need to use that part of our birth plan, and for the most part, it was followed as written.
Not to knock a hospital birth, we all need to make the choices that are best for each one of us, but I can't say enough good things about having an out-of-hospital birth. There was no registration upon arrival to the birthing center. No paperwork to fill out. No armband placed on my wrist, the midwife knew Erik and I well as we had met her several times during prenatal appointments. There was no IV fluids or pitocin, and even no heplock. There was no changing into a hospital gown, they encourage you to wear your own clothes to be comfortable during the birth (in my case I was pretty much naked from the time I arrived to the time I left!) There was no hooking up to a monitor upon arrival, just intermittent monitoring with the handheld doppler. There was no one checking my vital signs all the time, in fact they forgot to get a baseline set until I had already settled into the tub. There was a second set taken after delivery and that was it. There was no hospital bed or medical equipment in sight (everything is hidden in the dresser or under the queen size bed in the room). The lights were dim and room was quiet as we had requested. There were no strangers coming in and out of the room, it was just Allison, Cheryl, and Erik present for the entire birth (and luckily we were the only ones there so they could focus on just us). There was no one telling me which position to be in, or where I could labor. I could have delivered in the tub if I had desired. Not once was I offered pain medication, nor did I request it (or even have the thought cross my mind). There was no epidural or sedation of any kind, both Arlo and I were alert and awake immediately following the birth. When it came time for delivery, there was no bright lights and no gathering of the medical team. No one telling me how or when to push. There were no stirrups and I certainly wasn't placed flat on my back (which makes it much harder for baby to come out). No one took my baby when he came out, he was placed directly on my chest and only the minimum amount of assessment was done immediately after delivery. He never left my sight the entire time we were there. No one cut the cord immediately, it was delayed to allow Arlo to receive as much blood as possible from the placenta. Speaking of which, there was no manual traction applied to the placenta (which can cause hemorrhage in the mother after birth) and no routine pitocin injection given. There were no newborn procedures of any kind. No eye ointment, no hep B vaccine, and no bath. He wasn't suctioned immediately after birth because he didn't need it (90% of vaginally born babies don't). We declined the vitamin K injection (it contains aluminum and other preservatives and the dose is 20,000 times more than a newborn needs) and instead opted for the oral form of vitamin K which we bought and administered ourselves. We were not required to stay at the birthing center for 24 hours, in fact they allow you to leave after four hours if you are ready. We stayed about seven hours after the delivery and felt ready to leave even a little before that. That night, we slept together as a family, at home, in our own bed.
I am still in awe of the natural process that labor and birth really is. Left alone without intervention, it unfolds as a truly magical process. The female body knows how to have a baby, and is designed to do so. Raw, intense, and powerful? Yes. Beautiful and natural? Absolutely.
I can't wait to do it again. :)
Arlo was born on Tuesday, December 31st, 2013. Thinking back to when my labor started, I can't really pinpoint an exact time. I had been having mild contractions for a few days, but nothing that really felt like it could be the start of something more. I was told by the midwives and knew from our Bradley birthing class that those contractions (and the bloody show I was having) could last for days or even a week or two. I didn't get too excited about them, and honestly was hoping I had a few more days before he came. For 16 days prior to giving birth, I had been very, very sick. First with the flu and an ear infection, and eventually suspected pneumonia. In fact, the day prior to having Arlo, Erik had taken me in to our primary doctors office to be evaluated for the high fevers, chills, and fatigue that had returned over the weekend. I was started on antibiotics and a strong cough medicine and was told to just rest until the birth. Everyone knew how exhausted and weak I had been for over two weeks, and I think we all shared the same fear that I was going to be in trouble if labor started before I was well again. Little did we all know that Arlo had his own plans, he was coming out and was going to do it on his schedule, whether I was ready or not.
Monday night before going to bed I fortunately started to feel much better that I had been. The fever was finally gone and antibiotics seemed to be working. I took my cough medicine as instructed and was glad I did. The entire night I had regular contractions every 10-30 minutes. They were strong enough to wake me up but thanks to the medicine on board I was able to sleep between every one. It still felt like a long night waking up so frequently, but at least when I got up for the day I had a collective seven or so hours of sleep in me. Erik and I got up together at 6am, he was headed off to work and I couldn't sleep through the contractions any longer. I told him about the night I had, but neither one of us thought this could be the "real thing". We had breakfast together and still the moderate contractions continued, but seemed to be in an irregular pattern. We decided Erik could head off to work, his office is only a mile away and he is able to be home in minutes if needed. As well, being it was New Years Eve his office was closing early for the day, and he would be home mid afternoon. Before he left though, he became extremely motivated to make sure our birth bags were packed and waiting by the door, just in case this turned into something more. He went into work an hour late so he could help me finish getting my bag together and pack his own. Everything was ready to go and by the back door when he left for work.
After he left, I decided to do a few last minute things on my "birthing to do list". I spent a good hour transferring music and relaxation tracks onto my iPod so it was ready for the birth. I talked to my Mom somewhere around 10am to update her, but said it would probably be a few days yet before anything really happened. I remember I had to set down the phone twice during the short conversation, just to get through the contractions I had while talking to her. At 11am, I decided to relax on the couch and watch The Price is Right (after all, being sick at home the last couple of weeks had got me hooked on it!) I barely remember the show starting, and this is when things started to heat up. The contractions were getting stronger and definitely closer together. If I had to say, this was really the start of active labor. I went into the bathroom and was having a lot of trouble emptying my bladder, there was so much pelvic pressure and well, a baby head in the way. I remember leaning against the wall during those contractions, and eventually made my way back to the living room floor where I had what felt like a 4-5 minute long contraction. I was starting to lost my composure a little bit and finally decided to ask Erik to come home. At 11:51am I sent a text that said exactly "Needyou polease." His reply one minute later was "ok, be there soon."
Erik made it in the door in what felt like less than 10 minutes, although he says that it took him around 30 to finish what he was doing at work and come home. He took one look at me having a contraction on the couch and wide-eyed asked if I had called the midwife yet. I tried to explain there was no possible way that I could, and he grabbed my phone and called the Birthing Center immediately. Erik seemed a little confused as to why I hadn't been timing the most recent contractions and again I tried to say there was just no way I could do anything at that point besides what I was doing. The midwife told Erik to time them for 30 minutes and call them back. We were both surprised to learn that the contractions were coming just 3 minutes apart and lasting a minute or longer every time. I still remember telling him at this point (a little tearfully) that I was worried this was still early labor and that "I just wasn't very good at this." He assured me I was doing great and with contractions spaced this close together, it was criteria to go in. Between the contractions, realizing we would probably be leaving soon, Erik made us lunch, and I inhaled a veggie burger and 1/2 an avocado. During this time I also remember looking at Erik and telling him that even though it looked like I wasn't doing well, that I really was okay and said firmly "I don't want any drugs! I can handle this." He reassured me that I could, and kept telling me what a great job I was doing. After 30 minutes went by he called back the midwife and gave her the numbers. Upon hearing the information, and my loud moans in the background, she told us to leave right away.
Erik was urgently trying to get me in the car but I told him I had to change my pants, brush my teeth, and that I wanted to shower. He said no way to the shower but if I brushed my teeth fast I could do it before we left. He told me I didn't need to change out of my PJ pants but I insisted. He put on my track-style pants and immediately I told him they were too tight around my belly and took them off again. After the contraction that I was experiencing finished I looked around the room, decided there were no better pants to wear, and put the track pants back on. Erik said it was really time to go, I needed to get in the car, and now.
For some reason I had no problem taking my time getting my purse and last minute things together. Erik was quickly cleaning out the back of his Volvo wagon so I had the entire back to lay down in. There was no way on earth I was sitting in the front seat, and the back seat was taken up mostly by the car seat (which I was so insistent he install just days earlier!) I climbed in the back and was so happy I had thought to grab my pillow. I ended up in some crazy position with my arm draped over the back seat groping for any belt or buckle I could hang onto, and buried my face in my pillow during the five contractions I had on the 14 minute drive to the birthing center. I told Erik to pull over during contractions cause I couldn't handle the bumps and he did, but after the second one I told him to just keep driving. This was a mistake, driving through the contraction was just too much to handle. Erik was still timing them, so just before I was due for the next he pulled off the road and waited for it to pass, and for this I was so grateful. The last one was just as we pulled in the parking lot. Erik helped me out of the car and said he would come back for our things, which at the time sounded fine - in my mind I wasn't even sure if we would be staying. I was still at this point worried I wasn't even 4cm dilated and they might send me home.
Our arrival time to the birthing center was around 2pm. As we walked in the door, the midwife Allison and nurse Cheryl were standing there waiting for me. I felt a contraction coming on and asked them "where do I go?!" They asked if I had a birthing suite that I preferred. "Anyplace with a tub!" I said. They told me that all four rooms had tubs and then I think I started loudly vocalizing my need for a bed - and now. They pointed me to a room and I jumped on the bed and buried my face in the pillows for the next contraction. Allison and Cheryl followed us in the room and immediately started filling the tub. Erik tried to quietly tell Allison that our birthing instructor had recommended that we wait until the end of labor to utilize the tub for pain relief. She half smiled and said "based on the way she is acting this is the end." Erik was clearly surprised, and I was still not even sure I was really in active labor - ha! Allison asked me if she could do a cervical check and I told her yes, but to please be gentle as there was so much pelvic pressure already. "Kendra!" she said half laughing and half surprised. "You are 9cm!" Erik was shocked and so happy, and for the first time I had the realization that not only was I really in labor, but this baby was coming, and soon.
While the tub was filling I told them I really needed to empty my bladder and had been having difficulty doing so at home. They helped me get to the bathroom and I still couldn't go. Allison suggested that I get in the tub and see if the warm water helped. I asked her "I can pee in the tub?" And she said "of course!" I have to say, we were so lucky Allison was the midwife for the birth. The birthing center has several that work on rotating on-call shifts, so it was luck of the draw for who would be present for the birth. Allison had been one of our favorites during our prenatal care, and it must have been fate because she was also also the midwife who I saw the most frequently during our visits. She is very experienced as a midwife, and has even owned her own practice in the past. Of all the midwives in the birthing center, she is by far the most calm and laid-back, and I think it would take a lot to get her excited or nervous about anything. Exactly the personality you want for someone who works in this field. Anyway, back to the story.
When the tub was ready I took off everything I was wearing and got in. The warm water felt amazing. I remember looking around and noticed that Allison and Cheryl were reviewing our birth plan we had brought in during our last appointment, and Erik was setting up the video camera. For about 5 minutes I was feeling content and the first contraction or two didn't seem too unbearable. But then things changed. The intensity of the contractions that followed were almost indescribable. It was at this point where my mind started to go to the dark place. I doubted by ability to continue and said things like "I can't do this anymore" and at the beginning of contractions started moaning "no, no, no" as if that might make it stop. Erik told me that I was in transition and it would be over soon and kept reminding me that it wouldn't be long now until we met our little boy. He was amazing, kneeling by the tub the entire time saying all the right things. Eventually I told them I wanted out of the tub but Allison said that most of the time women want to get right back in, so I stayed put. Well sort of stayed put. I went from hands and knees to draping myself over the edge of the tub grabbing Erik's hand and then back to hands and knees, trying to find something to bring relief. At this point I felt like there was no way out, and even had the thought (although I never said it out loud) that our next baby would be in a hospital where they could give me drugs to completely knock me out and then somehow painlessly extract the baby from my body. Ha! The mind does some wild things during transition.
After about 45 min or an hour in the tub Cheryl mentioned that I still hadn't emptied my bladder and they talked about putting in a temporary catheter to drain it. I was very much in favor of this. I knew ahead of time it was likely since I was having difficulty with that in the beginning and the pelvic pressure was only increasing at this point. I knew a full bladder wouldn't let the baby descend and I didn't want anything to prolong this process! Even though as a nurse I knew that I needed to get out of the tub for this, I still asked in my irrational state if they could just do the catheter in the tub. Looking back, this was a hilarious thing for me to even think since I know it is a sterile procedure, but again I just wasn't my usual right minded self. They helped me to the bed and drained 250cc of urine from me. This isn't a lot for most people, but in my pregnant state it was probably maximum capacity for my bladder so it was a good thing they helped me get it out.
I stayed on the bed for the rest of the labor. Again, I tried different positions trying to bring relief for the contractions which were now coming one right after the next, giving me very short breaks between them. My preferred position was hands and knees but Allison started to suggest I try different things to help bring the baby down. She had encouraged me while I was in the tub to reach inside and feel the baby's head, and I could feel both the bag of waters and his head just behind it. I reached down several times to feel this as it was the best motivation I had to keep doing the very hard work I was doing. The bag of waters felt like a small water balloon and his head felt really hard in comparison. I think she said he was at zero or +1 station around the time I got on the bed, so he still had to move down the birth canal a bit. Allison checked me again at some point and said anytime I had the urge I was clear to start pushing. I reminded her I didn't want to push until my body told me to, and she said that was fine but we should start trying things like squatting to encourage him to move down. In my birth plan, I had put that I preferred to push in a squatting position and thought I might even deliver on the birthing stool. In reality, I hated squatting and felt like it increased the pressure to a level I couldn't handle. Allison brought in the birthing ball and put it on the bed and they supported me while I draped myself over the ball and labored a bit like that. I soon after went back to hands and knees because that was the only thing that felt tolerable to me.
The only monitoring they did of the baby during the entire labor was intermittent with the handheld doppler. I hated when they checked, not that it hurt but I felt like it took me out of my zone a little bit. His checks were fine until I had been on the bed about 30 minutes or so. They realized his heart rate was a bit low in the 110's and he was having a little trouble recovering after contractions, likely to do his position on the cord. They never got excited, but Allison said at this time it was better that he come out sooner than later. I asked her if she broke my water if that would speed things along. She said it might, but knew it was in our birth plan not to have an artificial rupture of membranes and I feel like she wanted to respect our wishes. I knew at this point it wouldn't matter if they were broke by her or naturally, he was coming soon and nothing was going to stop that. I remember getting a bit frustrated and saying something like "geez this is really a strong bag of waters I have!" and Allison said that meant I was well nourished. I thought about it for a moment and then asked her to go ahead and break them for me. I think there was some discussion between her and Erik at this time to make sure everyone was okay with this intervention, and finally I said "yes, do it!" She broke the water but nothing came out at the time. She said with the next push it would. At some point his heart rate was rechecked and they said he must of moved off the cord and everything was normal again. I was curious to see the amniotic fluid come out so I gave a little push. Still on my hands and knees, I looked down between my legs to see a small waterfall of light brown fluid come out. All I could say was "it's brown" but I knew that meant he had passed meconium which could indicate fetal distress. Neither Allison or Cheryl got excited or nervous, or if they were they certainly didn't show it. But I knew it was time to get him out and the only way to do that was really start pushing.
I had read in so many birth stories and books that pushing often felt good to women, it was a way to relive some of the pain from the contractions and was often a welcome phase at the end of labor. I can't say this was my experience. I was having so much rectal pressure at this time I said at one point that it felt like something inside of me was going to break. Allison assured me with a little laugh that "that usually doesn't happen." Our birthing instructor had described this feeling as the urge to "poop out a cantaloupe" and I have to say that is a pretty accurate description. Allison said the only way to make that feeling go away was to push him out. They had me move from my hands and knees position to a right side laying position and held up my left leg during contractions. I gave a couple of good, grunting, red faced pushes and suddenly felt his head low in the birth canal. The sensation of this was so intense that the motivation to push him out became stronger than the contractions themselves.
With his head so low in the birth canal, I guess they could really see things happening down below. I wasn't sure how Erik was going to respond to this phase of the labor. He is pretty squeamish with blood and body fluids and I had envisioned him hanging out near my head, away from the action. Boy was I wrong. He was standing with the midwife, offering encouraging comments to me but also saying things like "wow, you have to see this, this is amazing!" He grabbed the mirror nearby and tried to show me what they were seeing. I couldn't really figure out what I was looking at with the quick glance I took in the mirror but took their word for it. Unable to stand the pressure of the head in it's current spot, I used the next contraction to push with everything I had. I felt something come out, and felt the infamous "ring of fire" although it lasted about a half second. If I hadn't been waiting for it I might not even have noticed. "Is he out?" I asked. "Just the head" Allison told me. My next thought was "well I am gonna fix that quick!" and still using the power of the contraction I was having gave one more giant push. Out the rest of him came onto the bed and into the hands of Allison. Erik said he came out so fast that Allison tried to put her hands out to slow him down. I had written in the birth plan that I wanted slow, gentle pushing and warm massage oil for lubrication. The nurse Cheryl was still in the process of getting the oil when Arlo came rushing out into the world. He wasn't waiting and neither was I! Arlo was born at 4:16pm, just over two hours after we arrived at the birthing center.
Allison immediately placed Arlo up on my belly. His cord was a little short to come all the way up to my chest so he stayed there for a while as I had requested delayed cord clamping to allow him to receive all the blood in the cord. I couldn't believe he had arrived. I told him I loved him already and how cute he was, even though I couldn't even really see him very well! I asked Erik if the baby "looked like an Arlo" and Erik said yes. We had kept the name a surprise to everyone, even our parents, until he was born, and had wanted to make sure he fit the name. Erik at this point was by my side with the biggest smile on his face. We were both in a little state of shock, everything seemed to happen so fast and suddenly here we were looking at our little boy. Erik came around and laid with me on the bed while we waited to cut the cord. When the time came, Allison asked Erik if he wanted to do it and even though initially he thought he might pass on that, happily took the opportunity to be the one to separate us. Arlo was dried off and I couldn't believe how clean he looked. Not a speck of vernix on him, which is rare since he arrived 8 days earlier than he was scheduled. He didn't cry too much right away, but made a few small whimpers and they listened to him and said his lungs were clear. He pinked up pretty quickly with the exception of his little hands which stayed purple for a bit. They told me this was normal and not to worry.
Once Arlo and I were both checked over with him on my chest, we were left alone to bond and admire our new baby. Allison and Cheryl left and closed the door, and for an hour or so it was just the three of us. Eventually Cheryl came back in to help me try and breastfeed for the first time. Arlo was a bit sleepy at the time and didn't want to latch on right away. However, we tried again a bit later and after a few attempts he started to get the hang of it. He was so quiet and mellow right from the start, but was wide eyed and alert most of the first couple of hours. After our bonding and breastfeeding time, Arlo was weighed and measured. He weighed in at a whopping 6 pounds 3 ounces, and measured 19 inches long. I knew he was going to be small, but was surprised he was that tiny!
Arlo was given to Erik so they could enjoy some skin-to-skin time together, and Cheryl helped me up to the bathroom and back to the bed. I was very surprised at how good I was feeling post-partum. I had a protein bar, a big bowl of noodle soup, and then another granola bar - I was starving. And so thirsty... I think I drank over a liter of water in a short time following the birth. I kept having Erik fill my water bottle with diluted lemonade, I couldn't get enough. After I ate I took a shower in the tub which felt wonderful. Clean and fed with a new little baby in my arms, I felt absolutely amazing and sat on the bed, completely in awe of what a great experience the past few hours had been.
The hours after birth flew by at record speed. I have been told that labor is a time warp but I felt it continued until we got home that evening. Before we left, a different nurse came in (Cheryl had left for the day) and provided our discharge teaching and paperwork. We were ready to head home around 10pm (just about 6 hours after the birth) but Arlo decided he wanted to try to feed again at that time so we stayed until 11pm, and had what I would consider our first really successful feeding session. Finally dressed and loaded into the infant car seat which looked way too big for his tiny body, we were ready to head home.
Coming in the door with Arlo felt surreal, I didn't really think when we left the house that afternoon we would soon be returning home with him outside my body. One of the first things I did when I got home was eat another meal - I was still so hungry! We put the car seat on the floor in the living room floor and sat next to him admiring his sweet, sleepy self. Our dog, Lucy, was going nuts trying to smell him and figure out this new little addition to the family. When we let her near Arlo, she used her nose to try and push his blanket over him. I am not sure if she was being motherly or trying to cover him up as if to say "nope, don't like it, take him away!" We had turned on the TV to watch the New Years Eve shows, and the next thing I knew I was listening to the countdown for the ball drop. I couldn't imagine a better way to have rung in the new year!
The whole birthing experience for me was quite possibly the very best experience of my life. I feel so lucky that I was able to have the natural birth experience that we had prepared and planned for. We spent two hours a week for the 12 weeks prior to the delivery taking the Bradley Method birthing classes, supplemented that knowledge with additional books and videos, and went into the birth well-educated about the process. I know a lot of unexpected things can happen during labor, and while we were confident in our choice to have a birth at a freestanding birthing center, we knew there was always the possibility of an unexpected emergency which would require a hospital transfer. We had a separate page in our birthing plan for things we desired in the event of a transfer, and even our wishes should a ceserian section become necessary. Fortunately, we didn't need to use that part of our birth plan, and for the most part, it was followed as written.
Not to knock a hospital birth, we all need to make the choices that are best for each one of us, but I can't say enough good things about having an out-of-hospital birth. There was no registration upon arrival to the birthing center. No paperwork to fill out. No armband placed on my wrist, the midwife knew Erik and I well as we had met her several times during prenatal appointments. There was no IV fluids or pitocin, and even no heplock. There was no changing into a hospital gown, they encourage you to wear your own clothes to be comfortable during the birth (in my case I was pretty much naked from the time I arrived to the time I left!) There was no hooking up to a monitor upon arrival, just intermittent monitoring with the handheld doppler. There was no one checking my vital signs all the time, in fact they forgot to get a baseline set until I had already settled into the tub. There was a second set taken after delivery and that was it. There was no hospital bed or medical equipment in sight (everything is hidden in the dresser or under the queen size bed in the room). The lights were dim and room was quiet as we had requested. There were no strangers coming in and out of the room, it was just Allison, Cheryl, and Erik present for the entire birth (and luckily we were the only ones there so they could focus on just us). There was no one telling me which position to be in, or where I could labor. I could have delivered in the tub if I had desired. Not once was I offered pain medication, nor did I request it (or even have the thought cross my mind). There was no epidural or sedation of any kind, both Arlo and I were alert and awake immediately following the birth. When it came time for delivery, there was no bright lights and no gathering of the medical team. No one telling me how or when to push. There were no stirrups and I certainly wasn't placed flat on my back (which makes it much harder for baby to come out). No one took my baby when he came out, he was placed directly on my chest and only the minimum amount of assessment was done immediately after delivery. He never left my sight the entire time we were there. No one cut the cord immediately, it was delayed to allow Arlo to receive as much blood as possible from the placenta. Speaking of which, there was no manual traction applied to the placenta (which can cause hemorrhage in the mother after birth) and no routine pitocin injection given. There were no newborn procedures of any kind. No eye ointment, no hep B vaccine, and no bath. He wasn't suctioned immediately after birth because he didn't need it (90% of vaginally born babies don't). We declined the vitamin K injection (it contains aluminum and other preservatives and the dose is 20,000 times more than a newborn needs) and instead opted for the oral form of vitamin K which we bought and administered ourselves. We were not required to stay at the birthing center for 24 hours, in fact they allow you to leave after four hours if you are ready. We stayed about seven hours after the delivery and felt ready to leave even a little before that. That night, we slept together as a family, at home, in our own bed.
I am still in awe of the natural process that labor and birth really is. Left alone without intervention, it unfolds as a truly magical process. The female body knows how to have a baby, and is designed to do so. Raw, intense, and powerful? Yes. Beautiful and natural? Absolutely.
I can't wait to do it again. :)
If you are interested in reading our birth plan, you can do so below...
Birth
Plan for Baby B.
Kendra
& Erik B.
To
our healthcare provider,
Thank
you so much for helping us have a natural, unmedicated, childbirth
that is safe and viable for mom and baby. We
understand that
unexpected things may arise which require deviations from our plan.
In such cases, we trust our providers will communicate with us and
allow us to be part of the shared
decision making.
We
have completed a 12 week Bradley Childbirth Class series, and would
like to have the opportunity to use the methods we learned in class
to help us achieve the natural birth we have prepared for. Please
feel free to offer additional support, suggestions for natural pain
control, or anything else you think may help. We trust your
knowledge and experience!
Labor:
- Erik will be present at all times as the birth coach, and we plan to have no other family or visitors present for the birth.
- We will be using natural pain relief measures: relaxation, positioning, tub/shower, birthing ball, massage, etc.
- Please do not offer any medication. (Please also know that I am extremely sensitive to medications and have not done well with narcotics in past experiences.)
- We prefer to have a the room quiet with soft lighting for the labor and birth.
- Unless it becomes medically necessary, I would like to avoid all vaginal examinations including cervical checks. I would prefer not to know dilation status during labor.
- We would prefer to let the bag of waters break naturally.
- In the event of a stalled labor, please suggest natural augmentation methods such as nipple stimulation, homeopathic remedies, accupressure, etc.
Delivery/Birth:
- We would like to keep our options open when it comes to birthing positions. I am interested in birthing in the tub if it feels good at the time, or in a squatting position, or hands and knees. I would prefer not to birth laying down.
- I would like to wait until I naturally have the urge to push, and not be instructed to do so. I will not mind a cervical check at that time to ensure that I am fully dilated and it is safe to start pushing. I would like to follow my body's instincts when it comes to pushing, and receive as little coaching as possible.
- I would like the opportunity to feel the baby crowning and given the option to see him in a mirror.
- I prefer to tear naturally during delivery. Please encourage gentle pushing at the end to allow the head to come out slowly. Please also use perineal support measures such as massage, oil, and a warm compress.
- We request delayed cord clamping and for baby to be placed immediately on my chest for bonding and breastfeeding.
- Please give Erik the option to cut the cord when the time comes.
- We are declining active 3rd stage management. I would like to deliver the placenta unassisted and avoid the Pitocin injection after birth.
- Please do not suction baby unless deemed medically necessary.
- Please save the placenta! We will be taking it home for consumption and will provide a container to do so.
- Please allow us 2-3 hours to bond with baby before he is weighed, measured, etc.
Newborn
Procedures:
- We are declining the administration of eye ointment.
- We are declining the Vitamin K injection and have in our possession the oral Vitamin K we plan to use as an alternative.
- We decline the Hepatitis B vaccine.
- We prefer to give baby his first bath at home to retain the protective vernix covering his skin at birth.
If
Hospital Transfer becomes necessary, please
follow instructions in birth plan above. In addition::
- If IV is deemed necessary, please use a heplock that I can move around and walk as needed. I do not wish to have IV fluids and will keep myself hydrated orally.
- Intermittent fetal monitoring, not continuous.
- Please no internal fetal monitoring unless emergency arises.
- Vaginal exams only upon consent and as few as possible to avoid rupture of membranes
- Please no pitocin or breaking of water unless deemed medically necessary
- No analgesia or anesthesia
- Freedom to move and walk during labor
- Freedom to eat and drink in labor
- Quiet room, no excess staff please
- Breastfeeding only: no bottles, pacifiers, artificial nipples, formula, or water
- No suctioning of baby unless necessary
- To have the PKU heel poke screening of baby delayed until the 2 week checkup
- No Vitamin K, eye ointment, vaccinations, bath or other routine treatments of baby
- No
circumcision
In
the event of an emergency Cesarean Section, we would prefer:
- For Erik to be preset at all times
- To remain conscious and given as little anesthesia as possible
- To have immediate contact with baby if he is in good health
- To breastfeed as soon as possible
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Meet Arlo Cameron B.!
Arlo Cameron B. has arrived!
Our little New Year's Eve surprise!
December 31, 2013 at 4:16pm
6 pounds 3 ounces
19 inches long
More love in our hearts than words can say...
Birth story coming soon!!
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