The break from blogging was somewhat intentional and unintentional at the same time. This year so far as been filled with some good personal changes for me. One of which involved simplifying wherever possible, and so the urge to feel like I had to regularly fill this blog space with something currently happening in our lives has faded. As well, life is so busy raising kiddos right now I wouldn't have much time to blog even if I wanted to. That being said, I feel like I might someday regret failing to document at least a bit of this time in our lives. I am planning to write an Oliver update soon, hopefully after his first birthday in a couple of weeks. Likely to follow that will be random, less detail-y joint updates on both kiddos.
I think it was back in January when I read "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up." It was my long overdue dive into what I currently think of as modern minimalism. Maybe it was the fact that I was home all day with two tiny humans in the dead of winter slowly going a bit stir crazy, or maybe it really was the overwhelming feeling that comes with owning too much stuff, but either way something sparked inside of me that decided it was time for a change. I spent nearly every spare moment for weeks (months?) going through every drawer, cabinet, closet, and room using the Marie Kondo method of removing all the contents, laying everything out on the floor, and then basically throwing out every item that "no longer brought me joy." Four SUV-packed loads taken to the thrift store and several bags of discarded trash later, and I was feeling physically lighter and less cluttered than ever before. The desire to "lighten my load" overflowed into other areas of my life as well. I deactivated all my social media accounts with the exception of Instagram. I stopped following all blogs and stopped writing on here as well. I went through my phone and removed digital clutter - apps that no longer served me and hundreds of photos of the kids because really, in 20 years I will not need 3,000 photos of Arlo at age three. I will want perhaps 20-50 of the best ones, which I have kept. I am certainly not a true minimalist. Not even close. We still have far more "stuff" than we will ever need. The biggest takeaway from the whole experience was the learning to let go of things. With the exception of a few sentimental items - photos, plants I have had forever, projects I have made and cherish, I could part with just about anything I own now. Getting rid of things has become easy, and gone is my tendency to hoard items that I "might someday need."
Shortly after Oliver turned six months, I went back to work. I felt ready months before I actually went back, but the desire to keep him out of childcare was stronger than my urge to get back to being a nurse. I started with one day a week and then eventually went back to two, which feels like just the right work/life balance right now. I truly enjoy my job, working in general, and seeing my coworkers who are also my friends. The boys stay with one of two stay at home mamas who I found to care for them, and they both love going there because of the existence of friends and new toys that are found at each location. I have become friends with both of these mamas, and they are now people we meet up with for playdates on that days that I am not working.
Around the time I went back to work, I also joined the gym. Those two things have been game changers for me. The ability to have a day or two a week to go be "Kendra the nurse" combined with an hour or two to myself on the days where I am not working, has done wonders for my happiness (and sanity.) I am a much better mom when I am able to get some time to feel like I am getting to be me. I am not going to lie, kids are hard. Between the three-year-olds emotional meltdowns and a teething baby, the days can be long and stressful if not approached with some type of survival plan. I don't mean for it to sound all bad - these challenging moments are interspersed with times the boys will play nicely together in the playroom, have a living room dance party, or laugh wildly as they chase each other through the house. I'm thankful for these times and they are some of my most favorite moments, but the truth is some days the hard ones seem to out number the easy ones. Those are the days that I don't know how I would calmly get through if I wasn't able to get some de-stressing time for myself.
When Erik approached me with his idea that joining the gym would be of some huge benefit to me, he presented it to me as something I could attend without even working out since the childcare is available for anything you want to do while on site. Our gym has a sauna in each locker room, as well as a lounge area that many moms use for relaxing/catching up on social media/making those phone calls that are impossible to successfully make with small humans in the room. I liked the idea of having those options available to me and he did get my attention by mentioning them, but once I got back into it I realized how much I missed the intense workouts I so used to enjoy (and to this day I still haven't even used that sauna.) After Arlo was born I never really got back into running, and certainly didn't spent any time doing strength training outside of a semi-regular yoga practice. Now I am back to doing both, as well as spin classes and other intense strength/cardio classes. As apprehensive as I initially was with taking a six month old to group childcare, it went far better than I anticipated it would. Oliver is a favorite of the staff, and they all know the boys well since we are there most days of the week. The boys both get some energy out playing with toys and friends and I basically get to do the same, my toys being the gym equipment. I am thankful that Erik encouraged me to get back into it, and while my body will certainly will never look the same as it did before growing two humans (nor do I ever expect it to) I am as feeling as fit and as strong as I ever have been. Which feels pretty damn good.
At the end of May, Erik and I took our first trip since Oliver came into the picture. My parents came to stay with the boys, and Erik and I went to Puerto Rico for six days of kid-free adult time. I remember the first full day we were there, laying on the beach overcome by this feeling of true relaxation that comes only with having zero schedule, zero responsibilities, and no one to answer to but ourselves. After nearly a year of being "on duty" nearly every minute of everyday, the feeling was foreign and only then did I realize how much Erik and I really needed the break together. Our days were filled with swimming, surfing, quiet date night dinners, and drinks in the middle of the day just because we could. I can't wait to go back someday.
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| Puerto Rico, May 2017 |
In July we took our first big trip as a family of four. We had road tripped up to D.C. a couple weeks prior, but the trip to Michigan was the first time flying with both kids. Overall, the travel went well, but it was still a lot of traveling. We stayed with Erik's parents for a few days, then drive four hours north to Alpena for part two of the trip. My family reunion was the main event up north, and it was great to see all the family who I only get to see every two years. I was able to connect with two of my childhood friends, and meet their kiddos who I had not yet met. It was a wonderful trip, and one I would consider a great success considering the logistics of traveling so far with a three year old and toddler.
The summer so far here in North Carolina has been mild and enjoyable. We missed out on a week long extreme southern heat wave when were in Michigan, and the temps in the high 80's/low 90's have allowed for a lot of outside time with the kids. At the beginning of the summer we refinished our back deck, giving it a fresher look as well as creating a space that is much more kid friendly. We've gotten a ton of use out of our $9 plastic kiddie pool and water table, and Oliver is now at the age where he can enjoy most of the same outdoor activities as his big brother. He was an early walker so trips to the park are great for keeping the boys busy and entertained, and the library is still a frequent destination especially on rainy days. It's only early August but somehow it feels like summer is almost over. Our local grocery store put out their Halloween decor two weeks ago and the teachers and kids seem to be prepping for their return back to school already. I'm not quite ready to give up summer yet though and am looking forward to at least another month of swimsuits and sticky watermelon hands.
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| Arlo (3.5 yr) + Oliver (10 mo), June 2017 |
So, I guess that's a quick snapshot of 2017 so far. There is more of course, there always is, but I suppose these are the main events. More on the kiddos and what they are up to in a later post...
