the birth of Oliver William

For the past few months, I have been wondering how this birth story would read.  With our first son, Arlo, we had a wonderful birthing experience.  Erik and I were freshly graduated students of our Bradley birthing classes, and after an easy, enjoyable pregnancy there was no reason I was planning on anything other than a smooth labor and delivery.  Fortunately for all of us it was, and we were able to have a natural, out-of-hospital birth at the local birthing center.

Fast forward two years later.  We found out I was pregnant with baby number two just before Arlo's second birthday.  Having had an easy, enjoyable pregnancy the first time around, I expected the same again.  Much to my surprise, this one did not go as smoothly.  I spent the first 14 weeks nauseated throughout most of the day, with fatigue so extreme at times I felt like I could barely care for our toddler.  Just as the nausea started to subside, I came down with an awful case of the flu which kept me home and out of work for nearly three weeks.  The rest of the pregnancy was filled with feelings of anxiety, heartburn, swollen ankles, and some pretty intense back and rib pain.  None of which I had experienced before.  Early in the third trimester I was told that this baby, we choose not to find out the gender this time, was in the OP (sunny side up) position, but not to worry since it was still early and he/she would likely turn by the time I was full term.  Every appointment that followed confirmed that baby was still comfortably hanging out OP, and every birth story that I read about birthing a baby in this position talked about everything from extreme back labor to a long pushing phase to broken tailbones.  I was doing all the exercises recommended to turn this baby, but nothing seemed to be working.  In the last few weeks leading up to the birth, I had fully convinced myself that I would be experiencing a long, hard labor - likely with complications related to the baby's position.

The actual birth story I think really starts the day before the birth.  I was 39 weeks and 4 days, nearly a week longer than I went with Arlo.  I was getting anxious to meet baby and starting to worry about going well past the due date.  Leading up to Arlo's birth, I had a full six days notice that labor was imminent.  I had starting losing my mucous plug nearly a week before and was also having braxton-hicks contractions that were increasing in both frequency and intensity.  This time around, I expected the same signals telling me that my body was getting ready for labor.  But the only changes I noticed in the days before the birth were a slight increase in the braxton-hicks, which were still far too mild for me to think anything was about to happen, and an increase in pelvic pressure - although I knew both could last for a week or two before true labor started.  And so, I was growing worried that I was approaching my due date without any hint that this baby wanted to exit my body anytime soon.

So, I figured I should start trying to get things moving.  I went for a long morning walk with Arlo, dumped extra hot sauce on my lunch, and that afternoon I googled "natural ways to induce labor."  I read through lists of old wives tales until I came across a website that stated " The best advice to past-due women longing for that first contraction? Skip the home remedies, eat right, rest and enjoy those last few days of pregnancy as much as possible. The safest and healthiest labor is one that starts spontaneously."  And immediately I realized how true that was.  I decided to just relax and try to stop wondering when it was going to happen.

That evening, both Erik and I were unusually tired.  As well, Arlo had taken a shorter than usual nap that afternoon and was showing signs of being tired well before his usual bedtime.  So we put Arlo to sleep early and headed to bed ourselves, nearly two hours earlier than usual.  While Erik was getting Arlo ready for bed, I had the urge to quickly tidy the downstairs living room and kitchen, despite feeling as tired as I was.  When I went to sleep that night I had no idea what was about to happen next.  I don't remember having a single contraction that entire evening before we went to bed, and I certainly had no other indication that I would wake up anything other than my usual pregnant self.

It was 1:00am exactly when I felt the first contraction.  My first thought as I woke up was "what the hell?!  who is doing that to me??"  I realized I was having a contraction, but decided immediately that the braxton-hicks were just deciding to pick up in intensity and it probably meant nothing.  I dozed lightly until around 1:20 when I felt another.  Slightly annoyed that I was awake so early and would probably have a hard time getting back to sleep (I had been also dealing with some pregnancy-related insomnia for the past month or two) I decided to just lay there and see what happened next.  I had a few more contractions and ended up getting up to go to the bathroom where I noticed that I was losing small amounts of my mucus plug.  Around that time I decided I was probably in early labor, but by 1:45am the contractions were less than five minutes apart, and growing stronger.  I fought the urge to try and ignore them, climb back in bed, and turn on Netflix - my usual coping mechanism with the middle-of-the-night insomnia I was growing accustomed to.

At this point I started wrestling with feelings of what to do next.  On one hand - I had a really fast labor last time around.  Active labor lasted just five hours with Arlo, and the midwives had warned me that this time would likely be much shorter.  On top of that, we now had a good 45 minute car ride to the birthing center, much longer if we were to wait until later in the morning and hit rush hour traffic.  But on the other hand, I couldn't help but think about the baby's OP position and how, in my mind, I was going to have a longer labor this time around.  As well, I really didn't want to wake anyone up - Erik, the midwives, Arlo, or friends to care for Arlo.  So I decided to just labor a bit on my own.  I went back and forth between the bed and the bathroom.  I was timing them at this point, and they were around four minutes apart lasting around 45 seconds each.  Part of me knew that I should at least wake Erik up and let him know what was going on, and the other part of me was hungry and wanted to eat.  So of course, the stubborn, pregnant side of me decided to head downstairs to have a bowl of cereal before I woke Erik up.  If this was true labor I was going to need to eat before things got more intense.  I had no sooner set the milk on the counter top when I was hit with a contraction that brought me to my hands and knees on the floor.  It was during that moment I knew what I had to do next.

Erik had been sleeping in a spare room next to ours for the final months of my pregnancy - my tossing and turning was keeping us both awake and we both slept better in separate beds.  Just shy of 3:00am, I quietly tiptoed in his room - partly feeling really silly for waking him up when I was feeling completely fine between contractions, and partly thinking about the next strong contraction that was probably now only a minute or two away.  I woke him up and said something like "hey, I think I am in labor and we might need to go to the birthing center soon."  He sleepily asked me if I was having contractions or if I was timing them or something like that.  I don't even know if I answered before the next wave hit and I was suddenly on hands and knees on his bed moaning my way through the contraction.  Suddenly wide awake, he literally jumped out of bed saying "yup, this is happening" as he ran into our bedroom to change his clothes; he knew those moans well, having coached me through my previous labor.

I told him I wanted to eat before we left, and he was already scrambling to get things together so we could get out the door.  I calmly reminded him we still needed to call the midwives to let them know we were coming.  Erik called and got the answering service, who asked him questions related to my progress so they could relay the message to the midwife on-call.  I was contracting every three to four minutes at this point, and after answering a string of questions he grew frustrated and I heard him (almost shout into the phone) "I don't know, but my wife is having a baby!"

Minutes later the on-call midwife called us back and asked us the same questions again.  Erik finally handed me the phone and after she heard me moan through a contraction she said to head in and she would meet us at the birthing center.  Erik made us some toast at my request, all the while growing increasingly anxious and saying things like "I hope we make it there."  And eventually I started to wonder the same thing.  Luckily we had already packed the car with our birthing bags and the infant car seat.  I told Erik to let out our dog and to feed both her and the cats before we left as we didn't know when we would be returning.  He then ran upstairs to wake up Arlo and get him loaded into the car. 

What happened next is one of my favorite parts of the story and something I never want to forget.  I put on my shoes and headed into the garage, about to get into the car.  I realized that I should probably try and explain what was going on to Arlo because he would likely get scared or concerned when he heard me having contractions.  I opened the back door, where Arlo was already buckled in his seat, and he looked at me and asked "mommy, where are we going?"  I told him simply "to meet the baby."  His eyes opened wide and his mouth formed a perfect little round shape.  "Ohhhh, exciting!!" he responded with a big smile on his face.  It was such a sweet, genuine response from my little guy who had been waiting for so long to be a big brother.  It's a moment I want to remember forever.

Backing out of the driveway at 3:40am, headed to the birthing center with our toddler sitting in his car seat directly behind me, felt surreal.  I had never planned on going into labor in the middle of the night and in my mind if I did I was going to spend a few hours laboring at home before we left the house.  When Erik started up the car, my Chris Stapelton CD started playing and instantly I was drawn into his deep, calming voice.  Before I had the first contraction of the drive I restarted the CD so I could scan through my favorite songs as we drove.  During the contractions, I focused on the music and lyrics and almost felt hypnotized.  I couldn't be on hands and knees and still be buckled in so I had positioned my body to be as much on my side as I could, with my head somewhat over the center console and holding on to the back of the drivers seat as I needed to.  Between contractions I sang along quietly and reassured Arlo that I was doing okay and these were the noises I had to make for the baby to come.  He didn't seem too phased by the whole experience and surprisingly stayed wide awake the entire drive.  Erik was completely in driving mode - hands gripping the wheel at three and nine as we drove 80-90 mph down the nearly empty highway. During the drive I attempted to text and call my friend, Rhianna, who was on-call to pick up Arlo from the birthing center should I go into labor in the middle if the night.  She didn't wake up for the calls, but in the end it ended up being a blessing and I realized it all worked out the way it did for a really good reason.

We pulled into the parking lot of the birthing center just 29 minutes after we left the house - certainly making record time.  When we had arrived to the birthing center when in was in labor with Arlo I was mid-transition and can barely remember walking inside the building.  This time, I was still feeling completely normal between contractions and walked in the door like nothing was happening.  Erik carried in Arlo and the midwife and nurse were just inside to greet us.  I asked if he remembered which of the four birthing rooms I had Arlo in, and he pointed to one of the doors.  Since we were the only people in labor at the time, I had my choice of room and was really happy we could welcome this baby in the same exact place that Arlo came into the world.

I went straight for the bed and had a contraction almost right away.  I asked the midwife, Lydia, if she wanted to check my dialation status to see how far along I was.  As she was checking she felt around for a little while without saying anything.  I started to worry (do you see a trend here?  yes, I am a natural worrier) and told her if I was only two centimeters or something not to even tell me.  She said she felt the head, bag of waters, that I was 9cm, and the baby still had to move down a good bit.  This was exactly where I was when I had arrived to give birth to Arlo.  Erik and I exchanged glances, this was really going to happen and probably pretty soon.  We were going to meet our baby and Arlo was about to become a big brother!

Being the middle of summer and almost always uncomfortably hot, the thought of getting into a warm tub did not sound appealing at all.  I had used the tub for pain management during Arlo's birth but had no desire to this time, so I stayed where I was on the bed.  It felt like the contractions had started to space themselves out since our arrival at the birthing center, but since I was no longer timing them I can't say for sure.  They were still what I would call pretty moderate in intensity, I definitely had to moan and work through them but they were by no means unbearable.  Between contractions I sat up and chatted with the midwife, nurse, and Erik who was sitting in a rocking chair nearby holding our slightly stunned looking toddler.  I don't remember what we talked about but I remember laughing a few times and at one point I told them we hadn't decided on a boys name yet which somehow Erik had turned into a joke and we all laughed.  At one point I almost felt silly were were all just sitting around waiting for the baby to come.  Here it was, the middle of the night practically, and I was feeling completely fine between contractions.  I mentioned that I felt like labor was slowing down a bit and that I didn't even feel like I had hit transition yet.  Lydia said she thought I had, and that it was normal for things to slow down sometimes upon arriving in a new place.  Not two minutes later I was hit with the most intense contraction yet, and immediately after told her how I regretted saying what I had just said.

After I had been laboring at the birthing center for 30-40 minutes or so, I asked Lydia how I could encourage the baby to move down.  She said what I was doing with frequent position changes would help, but we could also try the peanut ball.  My friend Katie, who is a labor and delivery nurse, had told me about this special ball they often use for women in labor with an OP baby.  "Yes!" I thought, let's try that.  So I laid down on my side with the peanut shaped ball between my legs to help open my pelvis.  A contraction came on and the intensity was so much that I started pushing the ball away and kicking my legs to move it off the bed.  Erik saw me thrashing around and immediately came to help me back to hands and knees, by far my preferred position to labor in.  Sometime around this point the midwife and nurse stepped out to greet another woman who had just arrived in labor.  They told us to come get them if anything changed.

After the peanut ball incident, Erik set Arlo up in a big, squishy beanbag chair the nurse had brought in for him.  He put on a Mickey Mouse cartoon on his phone and covered Arlo with a blanket, hoping he would fall back asleep.  We had tried a couple more times to touch base with our friends, still without success.  At least at this point Arlo was totally engrossed in his show, not even caring about his laboring mom on the bed not 10 feet away.  Erik was now by my side, rubbing my back and helping me work through contractions.  They were taking more of my attention and I was no longer feeling "completely fine" between them, I was starting to become grateful for the rest.  All of a sudden, I felt the urge to push a little so I did.  At first I thought the baby had descended into the birth canal but there was no pain associated with the feeling so I was unsure as to what was going on.  Immediately after the push I felt a pop and was instantly covered in warm water.  My water had broke!  I remained on hands and knees, stunned at what had happened.  My water never broke spontaneously with Arlo so I hadn't experienced that feeling before.  Erik literally ran out the door to get the midwife and within seconds they were all back in the room.

Still not knowing what to do at that point, I simply told them "I'm all wet."  Which was pretty obvious by the puddle underneath me!  The nurse quickly changed out the wet pads that I was kneeling on.  I didn't look to see what they were doing but there was suddenly a commotion at the foot of the bed, and I knew they were getting the birthing supplies ready. Lydia said to me "Kendra, I think what is about to happen next is that your baby is about to come."  I asked her if I should take off my shirt that I was still wearing knowing that we would be doing skin to skin immediately after birth, and Erik started to help me finish undressing.  He started to help me with my bra and suddenly a strong contraction came along with the urge to push.  Instinctively I wanted to fight it, I remembered how much I disliked the feeling of pushing last time and I was really wishing I didn't have to.  I gave into the urge and felt the baby move down the birth canal during what felt like a nonstop contraction.  I had pushed out Arlo laying on my right side and remember liking that position so I immediately lied down and assumed the same position.  Lydia told me to grab my left leg and during the next contraction curl towards her and push with everything I had.  I barely remember a break from the previous contraction and it was happening again.  It took every bit that I had, but our new little baby came into the world during that next push, just six minutes after my water had broken.  The intensity of the actual birth was considerably more than I remembered with Arlo, and pushing him out was by far the most pain I felt the entire labor.

We had put in the birth plan that if it was possible Erik would like to catch the baby.  But with as fast as everything happened, and the fact that he had his cord wrapped around his neck, foot, and hand, Lydia ended up being the one to guide him in to the world and place him on my belly.  He had a short cord and couldn't quite make it up to my chest yet.  He cried loudly immediately, and seconds after he was born Erik announced, with the most proud look on his face, "it's a boy!"  I realized in that moment that I had forgotten we were about to find out the gender, something that I had always thought would be the first thing on my mind after I gave birth.  I was super excited to learn that we had another sweet boy in our family, and then filled with mild concern that we hadn't yet decided on a boys name.

Through the whole commotion of bringing his little brother into the world, our two and a half year old sat quietly watching his show, either oblivious to what was going on or maybe just choosing to ignore it.  Erik picked him up and asked him if he wanted to meet his brother, and at that point Arlo realized there was a new tiny person in the room and became interested in what was going on.  He spent some time next to us looking at the baby but eventually wanted to go back to watching his show, which was fine because I needed Erik next to me for what was about to come next.

After the cord stopped pulsing the midwife clamped it and Erik took the opportunity to cut it.  The placenta was delivered a short time after without issue.  At this point, Lydia started to assess me to see if I needed stitches, and with the amount of pain that I experienced during the birth and afterwards, I was not surprised to learn that I did.  I later learned that our little guy was born with both shoulders coming out at the same time (usually it is one then the other) which is the reason for the tearing that occurred.  Another midwife, Carey, came into the room about this time, she was second on call and since the other laboring woman in the birthing center was about to deliver they called her in for backup.  She came into the room at a great time, and was an awesome support person during what ended up being a rather painful repair.  Eventually Lydia left to go catch the baby in the room next door, and Carey took over with the stitches.  After what felt like an eternity, in reality was probably something like 45 minutes, she was done and I was able to sit up and for the first time really get a good look at our newest family member.  He had began rooting very shortly after he was born and had already spent a good amount of time nursing.  The first thing I noticed about him was his tiny, pouty lips and round face.  I fell in love immediately.

It was around this time that we got in touch with our friends who we had been calling to come pick up Arlo.  They were very excited to learn that we had a boy, and said they would jump in the car immediately to come up.  Rhianna wanted to know could they all come - her, her husband, and two kids, and I loved the idea of them all visiting to meet the new baby.  We met John and Rhianna in our Bradley birthing class when we were both pregnant with our first babies, and have been good friends ever since.  They are the closest thing we have to family in the whole state, and I was thrilled to have them all come visit during such a special time in our lives.  When they arrived a bit later, Arlo was filled with so much excitement to not only see his bestie, but also to introduce them to his new little brother.  He started literally jumping up and down on the bed next to me when they walked in, talking so fast we could barely understand him - "my new baby brother right there!!  baby was born!  baby came from mamas belly!" and we all had a good laugh.  All four of the kids in the room had been born at that very birthing center, three of them in that very room!  I like to think that it was a very special time for all of us.

They hung out for a bit and gave the new baby some snuggles before heading out with Arlo and the overnight bags we had packed for him.  It was a little hard to say goodbye to my toddler, but he was so excited to be going to his friends house he didn't seem sad at all to leave, which made for a really easy transition.  In the end, I wouldn't have changed a thing about the birth and realize how awesome it was to have Arlo there to meet his new little brother right after he was born.

After bonding for a few hours with our new little guy, he was finally weighed and measured.  He looked so tiny to me so I was shocked to learn he weighed a healthy 7 lbs 6 ounces!  He measured in at 19.25" long.  Not long after he was born it was shift change at the birthing center and the midwife who came on for the rest of the day was Allison, the same midwife who delivered Arlo! She was the one who did Oliver's newborn exam, and everything checked out just fine.  Erik and I spent the rest of the morning discussing boy's names, and texting family to let them know that the baby had arrived.  We hadn't wanted to wake anyone in the middle of the night to let them know I was in labor, so the first text everyone received was a picture of him and a family picture of the (now) four of us!  After a few hours of discussion, we decided upon the name Oliver William.  Oliver was a name we had considered with others in the months before the birth, and William is after Erik's maternal grandfather.  After getting to know him these past few weeks, I couldn't picture him with any other name.

I am beyond thankful that we had another healthy, supported, natural (and fast!), out-of-hospital birth.  Everything I had worried about in the months leading up to the birth - back labor, long pushing phase, broken tailbone due to an OP position baby, turned out to be non-issues.  Oliver was not born OP, and must have turned sometime during labor.  He entered the world four hours after active labor kicked in, less than five hours after I felt my first contraction, and only 90 minutes after our arrival to the birthing center.   We headed home later that afternoon, and again, just as it had after Arlo was born, felt surreal walking in the door with a tiny little person who wasn't there when we departed just hours earlier.

Welcome to the world, little Oliver!  Your parents and big brother couldn't love you any more if we tried.

Meet Oliver William!

It's a BOY!!!

 

Introducing Oliver William B.!

August 23, 2016  5:41am

7 lbs.  6 oz.

19 1/4" long

birth story coming soon!

8 months

Last night I had a dream that I had the baby (it was a girl in the dream and first we named her Erika and then changed her name to the one we actually have picked out in real life) and in the dream one of my thoughts was "gee, I haven't even written my 8 month pregnancy update yet, how can I have already had the baby?!"  Ha!  So, here's the scoop at 8 months.  Also, I am too lazy to take new photos for this post so I am stealing a few beach pictures from my last post for this update...

Belly is 33 + 2 in these photos, and today I am a little over 34 weeks.  Technically the baby will be full term and could safely be delivered at the birthing center in less than three weeks and that sounds incredibly soon to me! The past two months or so I have been thinking I would be totally happy with an early arrival but I still feel like there are so many things I want to get done before baby arrives that I now would be okay with a couple extra weeks to cross off everything on the ever-growing to-do list.  We are actually pretty close to ready in the baby department - the clothes and diapers are washed and folded, the nursery is painted and organized, and we generally have all the things we need for the first several months whether this baby comes out boy or girl.  We still need to set up the co-sleeper and install the car seat but those are on the list for the next couple of weekends.  Believe it or not, I have also already bought and started a baby book for this little peanut, and have several pages completed (pictures and all) that pertain to pregnancy and the family tree - go me!  I remember feeling such a lack of time for myself after Arlo was born and I know it's only going to be twice as hard with two littles, so I am trying to do as much as I can beforehand while I still have the time.  This past week I even had some of our wedding photos printed and framed, and it's about time - we are coming up on our 5th wedding anniversary in just a couple of months.  Nothing like the impending arrival of baby #2 combined with a strong nesting urge to get all those things done you have been procrastinating for years, ha!

Symptom-wise I am actually feeling better than I was at the time of writing my last post and can say that right now I am feeling pretty good!  My most troublesome symptom is the left rib pain that hasn't really improved.  I think baby's position is such that there is always a foot or knee up under my rib and it's constantly being pushed on.  Sitting and laying on my left side makes it worse but I have found a pillow under my belly at night helps a lot.  I am terrified to write this because I don't want to jinx myself - but somehow I have been sleeping really well lately.  I haven't had to take any sleep aids in a while and feel well-rested throughout the day, which I certainly didn't expect as I progressed through the third trimester!  I haven't had any heartburn lately to speak of and while I am taking it easy in the exercise department (daily walks have been reduced to about 20 minutes instead of the usual 45) my energy level is going strong for as pregnant as I am now.

My most recent appointment with the midwives was a little over two weeks ago.  Belly still measuring on track (32 weeks at the time), and I only gained about a pound since my previous visit, putting me up to a total of 17 lbs gained.  At that appointment I finally got an explanation for why I feel such strong movement from this baby.  The midwife who I saw was one I hadn't seen before, and is actually the director of the birthing center and has a lot of experience delivering babies!  She pushed around (pretty hard!) on my belly and was pretty certain baby is hanging out OP, or sunny side up, but also head down.  So all of his/her arms and legs are right in front, and that combined with my posterior placenta makes it easy for me to feel every little movement.  I asked her if I should be concerned about the OP position but the midwife said she wasn't worried at all and that it was very likely towards the end of pregnancy that he/she would turn the correct way.  And if not - I read on the Spinning Babies website that 87% of posterior babies turn during delivery so I am holding tight to those statistics!

When people have asked my due date throughout this pregnancy, and I tell them late August, they all sigh and say the same thing - "ugh, you have to be pregnant during the hot summer months."  And while I was never really worried about that, I did start to think after all the commentary "is it really going to be that bad?!"  Turns out, I have actually really enjoyed the summer pregnancy and besides the one afternoon I spent outside at the beach during a heat advisory, I haven't been bothered at all by our hot southern summer.  We generally stay inside in the A/C during the hottest part of the day (and would pregnant or not) and have had lots of pool playdates with friends which have been awesome.  Swimming while pregnant is the best thing ever, I feel completely weightless and oh so comfortable!  Also, a summer pregnancy wardrobe is way easier than being super-pregnant in the middle of winter - no jeans, coats, or sweaters to worry about.  Most of my non-maternity summer dresses still fit with room to grow, and my non-maternity lounge shorts and leggings fit comfortably below the bump.  So I only really had to buy a few short-sleeve maternity tops this time around, making putting together my current wardrobe really easy.  

I was planning to write a separate post about this topic, but I honestly don't want to dwell on it too much and realized I already covered so much of it in blog posts as it happened, that I am just going to briefly write about it here.  If  you are interested in reading the details about our breastfeeding journey last time around, you can do so here and here and here and here.  The long and the short of it is, we had a very traumatic experience last time around and those feelings are still with me to a degree.  When I tell people this, I am always met with "oh I know exactly how you feel - breastfeeding was so painful for a couple of weeks and I had to see a LC and everything!"  And not to minimize those hard times for others, but that's not at all what I went though.  I tried literally everything to make the pain that came about when Arlo was two weeks ago resolve, and it never did.  It was a six month journey for us and I was still in pain for several months after that.  We put Arlo through a procedure to correct his tongue and lip ties at three weeks old.  Between the LC's, midwifes, and eventually a breast pain specialist OB/GYN at the hospital, I ended up seeing over a total of eight medical professionals to help me.  I was on over ten different medications to help the pain, and probably another five or so to help with milk production.  I tried nipple shields and four different breast pumps trying to pump milk in the least amount of pain possible.  I pumped every three hours in the early months to try and keep up my supply, and even when Arlo started sleeping through the night I set an alarm to wake me up to pump on that schedule, and in intense pain every single time.  When my supply started to drop we used donor milk, and eventually had to supplement with formula.  When I wasn't caring for Arlo and he was sleeping, I was online googling every possibly thing that might help me feel better.  We literally spent thousands of dollars trying to figure out what was wrong and at the time I was so obsessed with breastfeeding Arlo that I would have paid every penny we had to make it work.  In the end it was thought that my nerve receptors became irritated and inflamed and just couldn't heal between the nonstop cycle of feeding and pumping.  But for those six months I was caught in this really unhealthy obsessive compulsive cycle of how I was feeding Arlo, and you know what?  I am not doing it again.  I don't like the word crazy, but for lack of a better one that's how I felt for the first six months of his life.  And I won't put myself through it again.  Yes, I still agree that breast milk is the very best nutrition for a baby.  And I will make efforts to make it work this time, but the fact of the matter is that there is a high probability that I will experience the same intense pain I did last time around.  If so, I will likely start pumping at the first sign of symptoms, and while this is probably a pretty low goal for many moms - I am hoping to be able to give breast milk for the first month.  If things go better than I think they will and we go longer than that, great!  If we don't even make it to a month, that's okay too.  I don't even think we will make the efforts to seek out donor milk like we did last time and I have made my peace with using formula.  A close friend of mine made her own and has a recipe developed by a pediatrician and approved by ours (her and I go to the same one) and her daughter did amazing on it.  So, I already have the ingredients on hand should we need it.  Some friends of ours who have four kids once told us the secret to having multiple little ones and remaining sane and happy is to set your expectations low, and you will rarely be disappointed, and pleasantly surprised if things go better than planned.  So, while some may say I have a negative attitude about breastfeeding this time around, I would have to disagree.  I feel like I am setting myself up to do the best that I can, and have a solid back-up plan that I am equally okay with.  Next week I am meeting with a LC at the birthing center to discuss breastfeeding this time around, and it's in the birth plan to access for a tongue tie immediately after birth (something we think caused the initial trauma the first time around.)  I have a new hospital grade pump and bottles galore.  So, I think I have done everything that I can at this point to be prepared for whatever comes our way this time around, and the rest is in the hands of nature...

I am hoping in the next couple of weeks to share some photos of the recently updated nursery, as well as Arlo's big boy room that I meant to share a while ago - oops!  And I am going to try really hard to write a final pregnancy update around 37 or 38 weeks, otherwise it will probably never get done!  For now, back to that to-do list...

7 weeks old + a long overdue update

Well, here is a post I have not been looking forward to writing.  I have been too busy and really had no desire to sit down and write about the past few weeks, but I guess this blog can't be happy all the time like sunshine and kitten farts, so here we go...

After my last update, where I waxed poetic on the awesomeness of life with a newborn, things took a serious downturn.  Arlo is doing great, not to worry about him.  He is a sweet, healthy, growing boy who I love so much it hurts.  The problems that I have been having are my own.  Around two weeks post-partum Arlo hit his first growth spurt, and wanted to nurse for hours on end.  It seemed like he was never full and since I was prepared for a growth spurt around this time, I did what I thought was best and nursed him whenever he showed signs of hunger.  After a full day of this, I started developing some pretty serious nipple pain from the constant feedings.  It wasn't bad enough to stop nursing though so we pressed on for the two or three days that he had his constant hunger.  Later that week at my two week visit with the midwife I mentioned that I was still having sore nipples and even briefly saw one of the lactation consultants at the birthing center.  She helped me with his latch and said things should get better.

By the following weekend I was in tears from nursing him, even though he was back to feeding on a normal schedule for his age (still around 10 or so feedings a day).  Desperate to get a break from breastfeeding, we went out one evening and picked up an electric pump after I realized the crappy manual one I had bought during the pregnancy just wasn't going to cut it.  Pumping a few times and giving Arlo breastmilk in a bottle brought some relief to my pain, but it wasn't my ideal situation and the pain wasn't going away completely.  As it turns out, my neighbor, Mary, is a lactation consultant (and possibly one of the nicest people I have ever met) and we ended up seeing her for a two hour visit at the hospital that weekend.  She provided me with a nipple shield and recommended that I use it during every feeding to help give my breasts a chance to heal.  She also mentioned during the visit that he had a tongue tie and pretty think upper lip tie, but she wasn't sure that his condition was the source of my pain.

A few days after we saw the Mary, Arlo got sick for the first time.  He was only three weeks old and even though it started as just a cough and mild congestion, we brought him into the pediatrician within 24 hours of his symptoms starting.  The doctor didn't seem too concerned, and gave us a list of symptoms to look out for at home.  Should they develop we were to bring him back in or take him to the ER, depending on the severity.  Unfortunately, his symptoms grew worse before they got better.  There were several sleepless nights where I woke up at 4am and just laid there for hours watching him breathe, counting his respirations to make sure they were not above 60.  Even as a nurse, in my severely sleep deprived state, I felt like I couldn't make an accurate assessment of the poor little guy.  I woke Erik up a couple of times, and asked him to count his breaths with me. Fortunately it never got to a point where we needed to seek additional medical treatment.  Still, I was so exhausted, and so worried, and still in such pain all the time that it was starting to really affect me emotionally.

Eventually Arlo started to show signs of improvement, but he was sick for a good week or so.  Along with everything else I already mentioned, during this time we were also battling a nasty diaper rash that just wouldn't go away.  That might not sound like a big deal, but it was just another source of frustration and worry that we didn't need to be dealing with.  We finally got a prescription at his one month visit that helped clear it up quickly, but it still comes and goes.  During his one month check-up, we also learned that he wasn't really weight as he should, and was only in the 2nd percentile.  He started off small so we didn't expect him to be off the charts weight-wise, but the pediatrician was slightly concerned and said we would need to keep an eye on it and recommended a weight check in two weeks...

Fast forward another week, and I was still having the terrible nipple pain (going on around two weeks now).  I was using the nipple shield and pumping occasionally to give myself a break from feedings, but it wasn't showing any signs of improvement.  Desperate to seek relief, I started researching the tongue and lip tie that Mary had mentioned.  After reading this article, it was all I needed to explore getting Arlo's condition fixed.  As a child, Erik had to have his tongue tie corrected for speech issues, and since the condition is genetic in nature, it makes sense that Arlo might require the procedure eventually.  Since there was a good chance that my pain was caused by an improper latch related to the ties, we decided to go ahead and have them taken care of right away. 

We took him into an ENT who performed the procedure right in the clinic, in around 30 seconds time.  I tried to nurse him immediately afterwards as instructed by the ENT and nurse who was helping us, but I was still so sore I couldn't tell if there was any improvement or not.  She said it would take a few days for him to learn how to use his "new mouth" and I should start feeling better soon since he would likely have a better latch.  A few days later, sitting on my bed crying from the severe pain I was still feeling, I sent Mary a text saying that I would rather go through labor again than be dealing with the pain any longer.  And I meant every word.

Since it was Saturday, she called her friend at the birthing center, and got us an "emergency appointment" with Rebecca, the LC who is on call during the weekends for urgent breastfeeding issues.  Rebecca spent a good two hours with us, watching Arlo feed with and without the nipple shield, watching me use the breast pump, and examining us both thoroughly.  In the end, there was still no clear answer as to the source of my pain.  She recommended continuing to pump exclusively as I had been doing the past few days, bottle feeding him the pumped breast milk.  It came up during the visit that I have a history of Raynauds phenomenon, and she thought there might be a correlation with my pain, as there sometimes is in breast feeding mothers with this condition.  I wasn't too eager to take the medication used to treat this just yet, I was hopeful that a few days of pumping to give my nipples a break would get me back on a healing path.

Fast forward another few days, and I was reaching a breaking point.  Arlo was around five weeks, and I had been having almost constant pain for the past three of them.  I called Rebecca and asked her to see if one of the nurse practitioners at the birthing center would be willing to start me on the medication for Raynauds.  Fortunately they were okay with this plan, and phoned me in a rx for Nefedipine, a medication often used for people with high blood pressure but also used in the treatment of Raynauds.  I was so hopeful and almost completely convinced that this would resolve my pain, but after eight full days on the med (and all the awesome side effects that came with it) there was not a single bit of relief.  I quit taking it as I saw no point in continuing.

In desperation, I asked Mary if it would be possible to stop breastfeeding/pumping altogether, let my milk dry up and nipples heal fully, and then take a milk stimulating medication to restart my supply.  She said that there was a chance it wouldn't come back, and if it did it would likely only be a fraction of what it was before.  She also recommended I try a gentler pump, which could be rented from the birthing center.  As fast as I could get there, I went in and picked up a Medela Symphony pump, which is a hospital grade pump made for women who pump as much as I had been.  I found it to be much more comfortable, and again thought that this pump was the answer to my problems.  I was hopeful that in a few days I would start to feel better...

The week that followed brings us to last week real time.  I went in for my six week postpartum check-up with the nurse practitioner, still having the same pain that I had been for so long.  She was awesome, and so comforting to talk to.  From reading my chart, she already knew everything I had been through and offered a lot of support during my visit.  She understood how hard it was to be exclusively pumping as I had been.  I never would have understood this cycle had I not had to go through it.  Instead of just waking up in the night to nurse Arlo, I have to give him a bottle (sitting up), change him, pump, clean the pump parts, and measure out the next bottle, a process that takes a good hour every time.  This cycle continues through the day, and is utterly exhausting.  It's nearly impossible to leave the house unless I have just pumped and fed him, and then we have about two hours before we need to return to repeat the process.  I can't see this as sustainable long term.  On a happy note, while we were at the birthing center for the visit I had them check Arlo's weight and found that he had plumped up to a healthy 8 lbs, 12 oz!  He had gained 2 oz per day since his last visit, which is a lot of weight gain in such a short time period.  We were told that he had "caught up" weight wise and there was no need to worry.

During the visit, the NP picked up on something that I had also been thinking about, but hadn't yet been treated for...  Since I was on antibiotics for my pneumonia at the time I gave birth, and Arlo had that stubborn diaper rash that was still coming and going, she thought my problem might be caused by thrush.  She said she would be willing to put me on a two week course of difulcan to see it would make any difference in my pain level.  As of today, I have been on the med for six days and still have no improvement.  I remain hopeful though, as I have read it can often take 10-14 days of treatment for the pain to resolve after starting treatment.  I am now taking this whole thrush issue very seriously, in the event that I actually have it, and have been following this candida protocol strictly.  The grapefruit seed extract, probiotics, vinegar rinses, nystatin, diflucan, I am doing it all.  I have been avoiding sugar and simple carbs.  I am also sterilizing all of our bottles/pump parts/pacifiers every day.  All our clothes and towels are washed on hot with vinegar added to the load.  Its become an obsession and combined with our already busy pumping/feeding/taking care of baby schedule I have little time for anything else.  (yes, I am sitting here writing an epically long blog post but with that in mind, I am doing so at nearly 4pm, still in my pajamas, with a baby taking an equally epically long nap)  :)

So...  I continue to try and find hope that there will come a day where I don't have to spend so much of it in pain.  All through the pregnancy I had these visions of being this warrior breastfeeding mama, fearlessly whipping out a boob whenever and wherever my baby was hungry.  Instead, the reality is that I am ashamed to get out his bottle and feed him in public.  I feel like people are judging me, and wish they made a shirt that says "It's breast milk people"!  I guess feeling this way is perhaps being a little judgmental myself.  I know not everyone chooses to breastfeed, and in the end all that matters is a healthy, growing child.  I just don't want anyone to think that I gave up on, or choose not to give my baby what I truly believe to be the best nutrition that exists for him.  So perhaps if any lesson was learned through this, it would be to never jump to conclusions or make quick judgements on another mothers parenting.  It's hard enough to have a newborn and adjust to the new life that they bring.  You never know what struggles and difficulties they have faced or are currently fighting.  That bottle they are holding might be breast milk, or it might be formula, and both are okay.  Happy, healthy babies and children come from lots of different parenting styles, and who is to say who is right and who is wrong?

And with all of that, my break is officially over, as I hear the beginnings of a baby waking up...  Hoping to come back soon with much better news.  For now, I am taking it one day, sometimes one hour, at at time, and trying to enjoy all the happy moments I get to spend with this adorable face, who continues to melt my heart every time I look at him...

Two week check-up

Arlo had his two week check-up at the birthing center yesterday...

He weighed in at 6 lbs 13 oz., up 10 oz. from birth!

He has grown an inch and a half in length and now measures 20.5" long.

His head circumference is now 14", up an inch from birth.

The midwife said he has all of the reflexes he should have and is developmentally on track. 

His PKU tests for metabolic and genetic disorders came back negative.

His blood work all came back normal.

He passed his hearing test.

He might have started out in life as just a little guy but he sure is off to a big start  :)

Eriks caption for this photo: "Arlo doesn't mind the doctor. He has the disco fever."

37 weeks

Post written Monday, December 23rd...  Posted today because I forgot to add the pictures and post yesterday!

Whew, what a week.

I have finally (mostly) recovered from the epic flu that tried to wipe me out completely.  When I wrote my last post, I thought I was starting to recover, but I was wrong.  Thursday around lunchtime I started shaking uncontrollably and couldn't warm up.  Eventually I did, with the help of many blankets and two heating pads, and then the fever was back with a vengence.  Erik was working from home that day and finally had had enough, he called our family practice and got me an appointment within the hour.  I tested positive for Flu A and had the start of an ear infection as a bonus surprise.  Since it was too late for Tamiflu, they basically said just keep doing what I was doing (tylenol, fluids, rest, etc.) and keep them updated on my symptoms.  I had actually been offered Tamiflu on Monday from the Midwife when I called them about my symptoms...  But I declined as I was unsure of the safety of the medication.  It is considered Pregnancy Category C, meaning there is not enough research on pregnant women to know if there are harmful effects or not.  I also did not get the flu shot this year (same as years past) and I stand by that decision, even after the hellish week I had being so sick.  Knowing what I know now, I might have given a little more consideration to the Tamiflu...  But we do what sits well with our soul at the time of making a decision, and it didn't feel like the right thing at that time.  What I did realize though, is that I will be passing on antibodies to the baby in my breastmilk, so it is likely he will receive natural immunity to this years flu from me.  Somehow thinking of that as a possibility sort of makes this all worth it...

The next day was Friday, and we had our weekly check-up with the Midwife.  Because I was still so sick, I was seen in one of the back rooms that can be accessed without going through the birthing center, and risking spreading my germs to the other pregnant mamas and babies in the waiting room.  It was no surprise to me when I learned that I had lost a pound from the week prior, as my appetite had been non-existent for nearly a week and I was only eating small meals because I knew I had to.  What I didn't expect, was for baby to measure smaller than the week prior when they measured my belly.   At this appointment, I was 37 weeks and 2 days, and only measured 33.5cm, down from 34 the prior week.  This means I was measuring about 3 1/2 weeks behind the average measurements for my gestation.  This was a bit concerning to the midwife and she recommended we schedule a growth ultrasound ASAP to be sure that the baby was growing appropriately and that there was enough amniotic fluid surrounding him as well.  Since it was so late in the day when we were seen on Friday, we were left to worry all weekend about this information, until we were able to have the ultrasound today.

After Friday's apppointment, I called my Mom to fill her in.  She didn't seem the least bit worried, and actually said the doctors told her the same thing when she was pregnant with me.  They told her I was small, and that my head was only in the 5th percentile.  Well, as you can see I turned out okay and now my head it huge, ha!  So that was a bit reassuring.  As it turns out, we really didn't have anything to worry about.  The ultrasound today was perfect, everything measured completely within normal limits, and they even said he "passed the test with flying colors."  They estimated his current weight at 6.5 lbs and he is considered in the 20th percentile for growth.  Quite honestly, 6.5lbs sounds like it's right on track to me for being almost 38 weeks, but they still consider him on the smaller side.  The ultrasound tech was impressed with how much "practice breathing" that baby was doing during the scan, you could see his little diaphragm really working, which was pretty neat.  He turned on the 4D imaging so we could see his face, but our little guy had other ideas and had a hand completely blocking it!  Ha!  All we saw was a distorted image of his nose and a tiny part of his mouth.  I am glad we didn't get to see him too clearly, I have really been looking forward to the first look we get at him when he is born and going into the ultrasound I was a little dissapointed that our surprise might be ruined a little.  Not to worry though, our little guy fixed that problem by throwing up a high five at just the right time.  See, he is already smart!

And finally, a couple 37 week photos...

37 weeks + 6 days

At 37 weeks baby B is the size of a bunch of Swiss Chard, weighing in at 6.5 lbs (and this week I know I am right!) and measuring a bit over 19 inches in length.  He is considered "early term" this week, but it's still considered safe enough to head to the birthing center should I go into labor at this point.  "Full term" is now considered 39 weeks, and I am pretty confident that he is going to stay put until at least that time.  

37 weeks + 6 days

I don't think I need to write my usual blurb about how I am feeling, obviously I have been feeling pretty darn awful from this crazy flu!  However pregnancy-wise I still feel fantastic and I am so glad to have returned to my happy, healthy (mostly), round-bellied self.  The braxton-hicks contractions have really picked up in the last two days.  Today they were very frequent, sometimes 6-10 per hour.  They never follow any pattern though and seem to stop if I change what I am doing, so I know it's just my uterus doing it's thing to get prepped for the big day.  They have grown much stronger now, and during a few I have really been aware of when they start and stop, whereas before I only noticed mid-contraction that they were occurring.  Still not painful, but definitely stronger.  Also on Friday at the Midwife appointment my 36 week test results came back, and I was negative for everything - including group B strep!  I was so relieved...  I have refused so much stuff already I didn't want to have to fight them about unnecessary antibiotics too.  Fortunately I can cross that minor worry off the list  :)

Today my parents and sister are arriving from Tennessee and I am so excited for them to be here.  They had to postpone their trip a little to make sure I would be recovered enough for them to visit, and thankfully, I am.  Feeling happy, blessed, and very much looking forward to another great Christmas surrounded by loved ones!

29 weeks

Due to a very busy weekend and week so far, I am just now getting to my 29 week update, even though today marks the start of the 30th week. This past weekend Erik and I took a wonderful trip to quite possibly my very favorite place, the Blue Ridge Mountains. We spent most of our time in Asheville, but stayed up a little north of the city in Weaverville. Erik found a pet-friendly house to rent so we were able to bring the Munchkin with us.  Highlights of the trip included a visit to The Tobacco Barn (a huge antique warehouse), delicious dinners at our favorite restaurants, Plant and The Laughing Seed, shopping in downtown Asheville, and taking long walks in the morning with Lucy - soaking in the amazing mountain views and fresh air. Quite possibly the best part of our trip was stumbling across a great band playing downtown on Saturday afternoon, the Crow Quill Night Owls. They were so entertaining we watched them until we had to leave for dinner. They play music from the 20's, 30's, and 40s, along with original tunes, and a couple of them were playing homemade instruments. So much fun!  On Sunday we took the long way home, driving north along the Blue Ridge Parkway to enjoy the fall color and lovely views. Before we got off the parkway to head home, we made sure to stop at an orchard near Spruce Pine and hand-picked a big bag of apples to take with us. It was a blast and even Lucy had fun there, running around and sniffing at the fallen apples. This trip was exactly what we needed and will be the last as a family of two before this new little guy decides to make his appearance!
 
The 29 week photos were taken on the property of the house we rented for our stay.  There were a few great backgrounds nearby - a scenic mountain view, a 100 year old church, and an old barn.  The photos in front of the barn turned out to be my favorite, and quite a nice change from the wooden fence in our backyard.
 

29 weeks + 3 days

 
At 29 weeks the baby is the size of a butternut squash, weighing around 2.5 lbs and measuring in at a little over 15 inches from head to toe.  His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain.  Every week I continue to feel more and more activity from this little guy.  Last night in bed he gave me such a hard kick I actually jumped from surprise.  Fortunately none of his movements have ever been painful in any way, but he sure has some strong legs (just like his father.  Another cat 1 cyclist in the making?)  ;)

 

29 weeks + 3 days

 
I have felt a few more Braxton Hicks contractions since last week, almost always during exercise.  These days my exercise routine consists pretty much of a 30-45 minute daily walk with Lucy and some stretching or very light yoga poses.  The hills around our house provide a pretty good workout, even if I am only walking at a medium pace.  I get out of breath much easier now than I used to, so I try not to push myself too hard.  Sleeping has been an issue on and off.  I guess this is to be expected in the 3rd trimester, and even on less sleep than usual I still feel pretty normal throughout the day so it's not been too much of an issue.

I had an appointment at the birthing center yesterday morning, and that went very well.  I only gained 1 lb since my last appointment 2 1/2 weeks ago, bringing my total weight gain to around 15 lbs.  The baby measured in at 29.5 cm which this midwife said is perfectly fine.  At this point we would expect 30 cm give or take a little, so if nothing else he is a touch on the smaller side. 

Probably one of the most exciting things of this past week (besides our trip) was starting our birthing classes.  I mentioned last week that we are taking a 12 week Bradly series, and I am SO happy we are.  Since the series actually extends past my due date in January, the instructor has offered to let us take the last two classes out of order and join into one of her already in-progress class series which will allow us to take all of the classes (hopefully) before our little guy arrives.  The topics of the last two classes are breastfeeding and newborn care, so she said they could be taken at any time.  We took our first class on Monday, and learned about newborn care.  During the class, we took turns diapering, changing, and swaddling a "doll" baby.  It sounds silly, and of course will be much different on a live baby, but the instructor had some great tips and tricks for us newbie parents.  It turned out to be a lot of fun and quite humorous at times!  The highlight of the class was watching Erik take his turn swaddling the doll.  He walked up there and wrapped up the most perfect burrito swaddle with such confidence you would think he did it everyday.  I could have cried it was so adorable...  I know he is going to be such an amazing Dad, and I can't wait to see him in action when the baby gets here.  It gives me the warm and fuzzies just thinking about it.

Our second class (but really the first class of our series) was last night, and was just as great as the previous night's class.  It was an intro to the Bradley method and covered everything we can expect to get out of this series.  We learned some relaxation techniques, talked about exercise during pregnancy, and nutrition requirements among many other things.  I can't say enough great stuff about this instructor, she is truly a blessing and quite possibly the perfect person to take a birthing class from.  She is extremely knowledgeable, confident, and so approachable at the same time.  I feel so lucky to have found these classes as this is turning out to be a wonderful learning opportunity for both of us.   

We have a baby-related project on the schedule for this weekend, and if we are able to finish it by next week I plan to write a post about it.  I have been looking forward to working on it for months now, and it's getting to the point now where we need to get it done soon.  Watch for that post hopefully coming up next!

And finally, a few more photos from our trip this weekend...

Apple pickin' (even though it looks like a red potato!)

This lasted about 2 minutes, then Erik was put in charge of the apple picking tool!

Sweet baby Lucy enjoying the sunshine

17 weeks

This past weekend was number 2 of 7 in a row we have planned as "weekends of fun," and it definitely was!  We spent Friday night at a bluegrass show at the Haw River Ballroom (absolutely amazing venue) and saw two bands, Town Mountain and Big Fat Gap.  The show was awesome, so much better than we expected!  After picking up the latest CD from Town Mountain and chatting with the band after the show, it didn't take us long to plan a trip to Asheville in the fall to catch them live again.  So, so good  :) 

Saturday morning we were up early and off to the coast!  This was our first beach trip of the year, and it's hard to believe that with living so close it took us until August to get there.  It was a quick trip as we came home on Sunday evening, but we had so much fun and some time away together was exactly what we needed.  We stayed at the sweetest little place on Kure Beach, called Hidden Treasure Inn.  This sounds so cheesy, but it really was a hidden treasure, lol.  We decided that for all future trips to the beach we will be booking a room here.  Erik spent a lot of time on his boogie board he loves so much, and while I played in the water a bit I found myself most comfortable parked on the beach chair with a book in my hand.  Every time I visit the beach I am reminded of how much I really have missed it and find it a little sad to leave. 
 

Here are a few pics from the trip:

Since we were away from home all weekend we took my 17 week update photos while at the beach.  It was there that I realized I need a bathing suit that offers more coverage for all my "growing parts" hehe...  Unfortunately the photos are not the best and the ocean breeze made my hair look even wilder than usual but you get the idea... 

17 weeks + 4 days

At 17 weeks the baby is the size of a turnip, measuring in at about 5.1 inches long and weighs around 5.9 ounces.  The cartilage is starting to turn to bone, and he/she is finally starting to put on some fat (yay, maybe more on the baby and less on me?  I have gained almost 6 lbs so far!  Yikes...)  The umbilical cord is starting to grow stronger and thicker as well.

In other exciting news, last Thursday at work I think I might have felt the first small movements!  I was sitting down and the way I was sitting and kind of bent over really squished my belly area, especially with my scrub pants on which are already starting to get a little tight...  It was a weird feeling, like a hundred bubbles popping in my lower belly, or almost like rice krispies crackling in there.  As long as I stayed sitting like that, I continued to feel the "popping" sensations, but as soon as I stood up they went away.  I have been waiting for more "pops" but nothing since then.

Last Friday, I also had my second visit to the birthing center and the midwife assured me that everything seemed to be progressing just as it should.  I expressed my concerns about my bump being what I feel like is a little small but she did her assessment and said it was exactly the size it should be at this point.  We also heard the heartbeat ticking along nicely in the 150's.  As soon as she put the doppler on my belly she asked if we were going to find out the sex of the baby at the ultrasound in a few weeks.  We said yes we were, and she asked if she could make her guess.  Of course we wanted to hear her "professional prediction" and without hesitation she said "girl."  Erik wanted to know why and the midwife said it was because the baby was so cooperative - she had found the heartbeat immediately.  She said with boys she usually needs to chase them all over to get a good listen.  Now of course, this is definitely not a scientific way of determining gender, but it sure is fun to hear everyone's guess and see where I fall in terms of all those old wives tales!   I haven't gone as far as the "wedding ring test" yet but give me another week or so and I think I will probably be there...

Just for fun of course  ;)

12 weeks

This week was another exciting one for us.  We had our first visit at the Birthing Center, as well we shared the big news with our extended family and friends/co-workers!

The appointment was on Tuesday morning, and I couldn't have asked for a better experience for our first visit.  We saw a NP this time, and for future appointments will be meeting with the midwives.  From the time we got there to the time we left, it was an entirely positive experience.  I never once felt pressured into a test or procedure I didn't want, as well the NP was super friendly and spent over an hour talking to us and answering questions.  We heard the heartbeat via doppler, and we wouldn't be us if I didn't have Erik take a video of it  ;)  See below for a clip:




I thought I would get all emotional again and start crying, but as soon as the heartbeat came across so loud and clear, I suddenly felt like everything was exactly as it should be.  It was really there, and the anxiety of miscarriage is starting to quickly fade.  Of course I know that really anything can still happen and just because I have made it this far doesn't guarantee everything will be okay from here on out, but I know that the chances of miscarriage at this point are very, very low.

It was really neat to hear the little "blips" on the doppler that she said were movements from the baby.  I didn't know you could detect those with the doppler, that was a fun surprise.  All week now I have pictured that little one flipping around and having a dance party in my uterus, haha...

After the appointment we were too excited not to share the news with our co-workers since we were both working that day.  I had already printed up announcement cards in anticipation of the big reveal, and shortly after I got to work secretly hung them up for someone to discover...

It took a while for someone to notice it, but finally they did and of course everyone was very excited!  A few people told me they already had suspicions that I was pregnant, and others were completely surprised.  All week long there have been people congratulating me as the news slowly filtered out to other departments.  It was a lot of fun to share the news this way!

The next morning I e-mailed out the announcement to our extended families, and received back an overwhelming response of love and excitement.  Since I couldn't send out the same announcement I hung up at work (obviously they would know it was us coming from my e-mail address) I made something a little different, but used the same picture.

So this brings me to the 12 week update (and I promise no more pictures of our feet!)  Happily I can report I am feeling great now.  I had one morning this week of being a little nauseated but I really think it was from a poor night of sleep, and fortunately it didn't last long.  I think that I would be sleeping a lot better if I wasn't getting up so many times in the night to use the bathroom.  Who designed our bodies to have the uterus right next to the bladder??  ;)  I feel like mine has shrunk down to 1/4 it's original size, haha...

12 weeks - sorry for the grainy photos.  Poor lighting today + point and shoot camera = not great photos!

I took these photos in the nursery today.  The "birdcage" on the right side of the photo is a really neat photo display that I plan to eventually hang on the wall and use for displaying ultrasound photos, announcements, and other baby related things.

Baby is the size of a plum this week, measuring in at 2.1" long and 0.49 ounces.  Most of the critical systems are fully formed and baby is about to enter the growth and maturation stage, in which the organs and tissues will grow and develop rapidly.  The fingers are starting to open and close, and the baby can curl their toes as well.  I found this one kinda cute - the reflexes are now developing and if I poke my belly he/she is likely to move around in response! 

I am not really having any weird cravings or anything, although lemon (and not just a slice - I am talking 1/2 the fruit per glass) in my water is still a necessity.  Sushi (vegan of course) with avocado, carrots, and extra ginger is something I have been eating at every opportunity.  Recently I requested we go out for sushi twice in the same weekend, which is a bit unlike me!

I guess from here on out it's really just grow baby, grow  :)

Birthing Center Tour

This afternoon we got to take our long-anticipated two hour tour of the birthing center!  It was so incredibly informative and the RN who gave the information session/tour answered just about every possible question that has popped in my mind to date.  Most of the stuff as far as the reasons for choosing a birthing center over a hospital, what to expect during a birth there, and complications that would require transfer to a hospital were things that I already was aware of.  (You can read about birthing centers here and here)  But there was a lot of new information that was surprising to me (mostly in a good way!)  Some of the things that come to mind were:

• Patients will meet and get to know all of the midwives during their prenatal care and actually try and see a different one at each visit (there are 8 total in the practice.)  This is because the midwife on call when you go into labor will be the one who attends the birth.  I was a little concerned with this at first (for continuity of care reasons) but after I thought about it I understood the reasons and actually look forward to meeting all the midwives, I bet I can learn something different from all of them!

• This birthing center is the largest in the state, and second busiest birthing center in the entire country!  They deliver over 450 babies per year, and only a very small percentage of those births have to be transferred to the nearby hospital.  For the ones that do, only a tiny fraction of that small percent are true emergencies.  Most of the time if you have to go to the hospital the midwife will have you hop in your own car and she will meet you there.

• All appointments with the midwife are at minimum 30 minutes long.  The initial visit as well as some postpartum visits are an entire hour.  This allows you to really get to know the midwives (and vice versa) as well as ensure that concerns are addressed and all questions are answered.  Most of the time in an OB office, appointment times are around 15-20 minutes for a "long" appointment and 10 or so for routine checks. Due to their long appointment time slots, she said it is rare for them to be running behind schedule so there is usually very little waiting time at appointments.

• If you are transferred to the hospital (even for a c-section) the midwife will stay with you the whole time (even in the OR!) and be with you postpartum to help with breastfeeding.

• Speaking of breastfeeding, over 90% of the mothers who choose the birthing center end up breastfeeding their babies.  They are Baby Friendly certified, and have lactation consultants available anytime to help with breastfeeding problems or concerns. 

• Postpartum, the average stay in the birthing center is 6 hours after delivery.  Minimum is 4 hours and max is 12.  If you have to stay longer then 12 hours it is usually because you need longer monitoring and they might recommend you go to the hospital for additional care.

• They require you to take a birthing class if this is your first pregnancy.  We were actually planning on that later in the pregnancy anyway, and I already have one in mind  ;)

• The center focuses on an unmedicated, natural birth whenever possible (which is one of the main reasons women and their partners choose a birthing center to begin with.)  They do have homeopathic and herbal remedies available that they encourage you to use if needed.  You are also allowed to invite your chiropractor, acupuncturist, or massage therapist to the birth to provide treatment during labor!  As a last result (and hopefully I don't have to go there) they do have narcotics available, morphine for rest in early labor and nubain for pain control in active labor.

• While they do offer routine diagnostics, genetic testing, and ultrasound (ultrasound is done at the hospital) you have the option to opt out of any tests that you feel are not appropriate for your situation.  Blood work and urine testing are required at the initial visit, but after that the choice is yours for which future testing you have done.  Usually only one ultrasound is recommended for women who birth there, and that occurs around 18-20 weeks.  They do recommend it as an anatomy scan for the baby, to determine that he or she is growing appropriately.  It will also give information on how much amniotic fluid is surrounding the baby, as well as the location of the placenta.  Also, at that point if you wish to know the gender of the baby you can usually find out at that time as well.  In a normal, healthy pregnancy ultrasounds are not a medical necessity and are considered elective screening tests. 

• Vaginal exams are kept to a minimum.  There is an exam during the first visit, and towards the end of the pregnancy if you go much past the due date so they can determine if anything is happening down there...  The nurse said sometimes women end up with two vaginal exams only, the first at the initial visit and the second as they are pushing out their baby, ha! 

• If you go into labor before 37 weeks they feel that the safest location for delivery is at the hospital,  during which the midwife would provide the same care as she would in the birthing center.  If the pregnancy goes past 42 weeks they will induce, which also occurs at the hospital, and labor is still managed by the midwife.

• Their episiotomy rate is around 2%.  In the hospital it is around 30-40%.  During labor, the midwife will encourage slow and natural pushing as well as provide perineal massage.  Based on these and other natural interventions used at the birthing center, the risk of tearing is also greatly reduced.  (You can read more about episiotomy vs. natural tears here.)   

• IV's are not required unless you test positive for Group B Strep (a test that is done in pregnancy between 35-37 weeks.)  Approximately 1 out of 4 women is a carrier for the bacteria, and it usually causes no symptoms.  It is harmless to the mother but can cause a serious infection in the baby after birth.  If you do test positive, IV antibiotics are given shortly after arrival to the birthing center in active labor, which requires the use of an IV.  If needed, the IV is left in for the remainder of labor in the event that another dose of antibiotics is needed.  Also, women who are positive for GBS are required to stay the full 12 hours after delivery to monitor the baby for signs of infection.  The baby also receives a home visit at one day postpartum to check for symptoms (routine postpartum visits by the midwife are done at 2 or 3 days after delivery.)

• Immediately following delivery, the baby is placed directly onto the mothers bare chest and both are covered with a warm blanket.  The umbilical cord is not cut until it stops pulsating, which increases the iron stores in the baby's blood.  The placenta is delivered naturally, and the baby and mother are allowed at least an hour to bond/breastfeed before the baby is weighed, measured and given it's first bath.

• Even though the birthing center strives to provide the most "home-like" setting as possible, they are equipped for emergencies and certified in neonatal resuscitation.  They have an emergency equipment including oxygen, suction, and medications and do a good job at concealing these items in the birthing suites so they are not out in plain sight, but can be available in seconds if needed.

• They not only allow but also encourage you to eat and drink during labor.  As well, they won't let you go home until you have eaten a hot meal postpartum.  They also assured us that food delivery from local restaurants is possible to the birthing center.  (Note to self: verify Vimala's Curryblossom Cafe will deliver...)  :)

The birthing suites are cozy and home-like, with a full size bed, birthing tub, birthing chair, birthing balls, and individual bathrooms.  They also have a nice family area with a living room and full kitchen that can be used to store and prepare any food that is brought in for the laboring period.  Overall, I can't even really express how lucky I feel to live so close to such a wonderful resource.  As we drove out of the parking lot I proclaimed "I could have a baby there right this minute!"  haha...  Erik said he was glad we have another 8 months to go, he wants more time to prepare  ;)

Tomorrow I will be calling to schedule my first appointment with the midwife.  Wow, this is starting to feel so real now!