this and that

Oh, hey there.  Is anyone still reading this thing?

The break from blogging was somewhat intentional and unintentional at the same time.  This year so far as been filled with some good personal changes for me.  One of which involved simplifying wherever possible, and so the urge to feel like I had to regularly fill this blog space with something currently happening in our lives has faded.  As well, life is so busy raising kiddos right now I wouldn't have much time to blog even if I wanted to.  That being said, I feel like I might someday regret failing to document at least a bit of this time in our lives.  I am planning to write an Oliver update soon, hopefully after his first birthday in a couple of weeks.  Likely to follow that will be random, less detail-y joint updates on both kiddos.

I think it was back in January when I read "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up."  It was my long overdue dive into what I currently think of as modern minimalism.  Maybe it was the fact that I was home all day with two tiny humans in the dead of winter slowly going a bit stir crazy, or maybe it really was the overwhelming feeling that comes with owning too much stuff, but either way something sparked inside of me that decided it was time for a change.  I spent nearly every spare moment for weeks (months?) going through every drawer, cabinet, closet, and room using the Marie Kondo method of removing all the contents, laying everything out on the floor, and then basically throwing out every item that "no longer brought me joy."  Four SUV-packed loads taken to the thrift store and several bags of discarded trash later, and I was feeling physically lighter and less cluttered than ever before.  The desire to "lighten my load" overflowed into other areas of my life as well.  I deactivated all my social media accounts with the exception of Instagram.  I stopped following all blogs and stopped writing on here as well.  I went through my phone and removed digital clutter - apps that no longer served me and hundreds of photos of the kids because really, in 20 years I will not need 3,000 photos of Arlo at age three.  I will want perhaps 20-50 of the best ones, which I have kept.  I am certainly not a true minimalist.  Not even close.  We still have far more "stuff" than we will ever need.  The biggest takeaway from the whole experience was the learning to let go of things.  With the exception of a few sentimental items - photos, plants I have had forever, projects I have made and cherish, I could part with just about anything I own now.  Getting rid of things has become easy, and gone is my tendency to hoard items that I "might someday need."

Shortly after Oliver turned six months, I went back to work.  I felt ready months before I actually went back, but the desire to keep him out of childcare was stronger than my urge to get back to being a nurse.  I started with one day a week and then eventually went back to two, which feels like just the right work/life balance right now.  I truly enjoy my job, working in general, and seeing my coworkers who are also my friends.  The boys stay with one of two stay at home mamas who I found to care for them, and they both love going there because of the existence of friends and new toys that are found at each location.  I have become friends with both of these mamas, and they are now people we meet up with for playdates on that days that I am not working.

Around the time I went back to work, I also joined the gym.  Those two things have been game changers for me.  The ability to have a day or two a week to go be "Kendra the nurse" combined with an hour or two to myself on the days where I am not working, has done wonders for my happiness (and sanity.)  I am a much better mom when I am able to get some time to feel like I am getting to be me.  I am not going to lie, kids are hard.  Between the three-year-olds emotional meltdowns and a teething baby, the days can be long and stressful if not approached with some type of survival plan.  I don't mean for it to sound all bad - these challenging moments are interspersed with times the boys will play nicely together in the playroom, have a living room dance party, or laugh wildly as they chase each other through the house.  I'm thankful for these times and they are some of my most favorite moments, but the truth is some days the hard ones seem to out number the easy ones.  Those are the days that I don't know how I would calmly get through if I wasn't able to get some de-stressing time for myself.

When Erik approached me with his idea that joining the gym would be of some huge benefit to me, he presented it to me as something I could attend without even working out since the childcare is available for anything you want to do while on site.  Our gym has a sauna in each locker room, as well as a lounge area that many moms use for relaxing/catching up on social media/making those phone calls that are impossible to successfully make with small humans in the room.  I liked the idea of having those options available to me and he did get my attention by mentioning them, but once I got back into it I realized how much I missed the intense workouts I so used to enjoy (and to this day I still haven't even used that sauna.)  After Arlo was born I never really got back into running, and certainly didn't spent any time doing strength training outside of a semi-regular yoga practice.  Now I am back to doing both, as well as spin classes and other intense strength/cardio classes.  As apprehensive as I initially was with taking a six month old to group childcare, it went far better than I anticipated it would.  Oliver is a favorite of the staff, and they all know the boys well since we are there most days of the week.  The boys both get some energy out playing with toys and friends and I basically get to do the same, my toys being the gym equipment.  I am thankful that Erik encouraged me to get back into it, and while my body will certainly will never look the same as it did before growing two humans (nor do I ever expect it to) I am as feeling as fit and as strong as I ever have been.  Which feels pretty damn good.

At the end of May, Erik and I took our first trip since Oliver came into the picture.  My parents came to stay with the boys, and Erik and I went to Puerto Rico for six days of kid-free adult time.  I remember the first full day we were there, laying on the beach overcome by this feeling of true relaxation that comes only with having zero schedule, zero responsibilities, and no one to answer to but ourselves.  After nearly a year of being "on duty" nearly every minute of everyday, the feeling was foreign and only then did I realize how much Erik and I really needed the break together.  Our days were filled with swimming, surfing, quiet date night dinners, and drinks in the middle of the day just because we could.  I can't wait to go back someday.

Puerto Rico, May 2017

In July we took our first big trip as a family of four.  We had road tripped up to D.C. a couple weeks prior, but the trip to Michigan was the first time flying with both kids.  Overall, the travel went well, but it was still a lot of traveling.  We stayed with Erik's parents for a few days, then drive four hours north to Alpena for part two of the trip.  My family reunion was the main event up north, and it was great to see all the family who I only get to see every two years.  I was able to connect with two of my childhood friends, and meet their kiddos who I had not yet met.  It was a wonderful trip, and one I would consider a great success considering the logistics of traveling so far with a three year old and toddler. 

The summer so far here in North Carolina has been mild and enjoyable.  We missed out on a week long extreme southern heat wave when were in Michigan, and the temps in the high 80's/low 90's have allowed for a lot of outside time with the kids.  At the beginning of the summer we refinished our back deck, giving it a fresher look as well as creating a space that is much more kid friendly.  We've gotten a ton of use out of our $9 plastic kiddie pool and water table, and Oliver is now at the age where he can enjoy most of the same outdoor activities as his big brother.  He was an early walker so trips to the park are great for keeping the boys busy and entertained, and the library is still a frequent destination especially on rainy days.  It's only early August but somehow it feels like summer is almost over.  Our local grocery store put out their Halloween decor two weeks ago and the teachers and kids seem to be prepping for their return back to school already.  I'm not quite ready to give up summer yet though and am looking forward to at least another month of swimsuits and sticky watermelon hands. 

Arlo (3.5 yr) + Oliver (10 mo), June 2017

So, I guess that's a quick snapshot of 2017 so far.  There is more of course, there always is, but I suppose these are the main events.  More on the kiddos and what they are up to in a later post...

ho, ho, holidays 2016

It's February and I am just now posting this?  Oops.  It was written last month and I never got around to hitting post.  So, better late than never...


I had plans to give each holiday its own post.  But between all the other birthday and milestone posts I've been working on these past few weeks the holidays kind of fell by the wayside...  So, here's a combo post with a little bit about the entire holiday season of 2016.

thanksgiving

Our theme, if you want to call it that, after Oliver was born, has been to keep things as simple as possible.  We didn't plan a lot, or anything really, in the months that followed his birth.  We decided before he was even born that we would stay home through the holidays this year, and invite family to come to visit us.  In years past, we have always traveled to DC to be with Erik's family for Thanksgiving, and Tennessee to visit my family for Christmas.  Keeping in the tradition of spending Thanksgiving with Erik's family, they opted to come to our house.  His parents flew down, as did Scott and Caitrin.  We were also lucky enough to have our friends Anne and Zach join us.  Anne and Zach are both vegan and Zach is also a food blogger who loves to cook.  So when he volunteered to make most of the Thanksgiving feast, I happily agreed to it.  And feast it was, there was no shortage of plant-based deliciousness on our table.  I think there were three different kinds of "meat" plus all the usual fixins.  And pies, three delicious homemade pies (thanks Zach!!)  Even the non-vegans agreed it was a wonderful meal.  And during the gathering it was realized that we had all sort of matched our outfits, completely unplanned.  So here is the photographic evidence of our well-coordinated gathering...

family pic minus the babe who was napping

Arlo, me, Erik, Caitrin, Scott, Jill, Rich, and a Lucy head

plaid boys

grey girls

The rest of the long weekend was pretty low key.  Erik and I got to enjoy a date night out with Scott and Caitrin while the grandparents watched the kiddos.  Arlo was sad to have everyone leave, but no one was more upset than Lucy, who entered into a full 24 hour depression after Papa Richard left.  He spoils her with two walks and more attention in a day than she receives all week.  She has fully recovered thankfully and I know we are all already looking forward to their next visit.

christmas

Before the holidays even hit this year, Erik and I planned on a very low key Christmas, keeping the gift giving as simple as we could.  Even though it doesn't feel like we buy much for the kids throughout the year, the little toys here and there, combined with gifts and free secondhand toys given to us by friends and family really seem to add up.  I spent hours in the weeks before Christmas clearing out toys and books from the playroom, and packed up several grocery bags worth of stuff to donate.  I knew more toys were coming and "too much stuff" in general has been a big stressor for me lately.

When we asked Arlo what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas this year, he initially told us "a pillow, a Christmas flower, and a spoon and fork."  Later in the month he decided on a flashlight and was consistent in his request from then on.  Fortunately, flashlights are easy to come by.  We also bought him a memory matching game and a Richard Scary book, which is definitely his new favorite book.  I loved Richard Scary books as a kid and even though compared to todays books they are rather dated, I knew Arlo would love his style.  Since Oliver is a baby and needs nothing at this point in his life, we opted to wrap up a few of Arlo's old baby toys as his gifts.  It ended up working out great, Oliver is just coming into the age where he can start playing with baby things and as well it was a great transition to hand down some of Arlo's old toys.

We went with friends to visit Santa the week before Christmas.  Arlo was so excited to see him and both boys sat on his lap without any tears or meltdowns. We went to visit Santa at a new location this year, a local sporting goods store that really goes all out for the holidays.  They provide you with a free professional photo and wooden frame, as well they let you take as many of your own photos that you want. There are also kids crafts set up along with all the other fun things the store has on display year-round.  We made a whole morning out of it and Arlo had a great time.

My family came to stay with us for Christmas this year, including my sister Megan who flew in from Chicago. The days leading up to Christmas had Arlo asking us which morning that Santa was going to come.  Finally, Christmas eve arrived.  We all watched Elf together (and Home Alone after Arlo went to bed - this is a tradition Megan and I have done since the year it came out) and after the movie we put out cookies for Santa.  Except we didn't actually have any cookies so Arlo suggested we leave Santa cashews and almond milk.  And since Santa gets so many cookies already we decided that was a fine idea and Arlo happily put them next to the fireplace.  And then proceeded to eat nearly the whole bowl, ha.  I did convince him to save a few for Santa before he went off to bed.

The next morning Arlo was very excited to wake up and see the presents under the tree.  We waited for the whole family to wake up and migrate downstairs, by which time Oliver had already fallen asleep for his morning nap.  So we let him sleep while we all opened presents and set his gifts aside in a pile.  I promise kid, we won't do this in years future.  My favorite part of the gift opening was how Arlo responded to it.  He would find a present under the tree, and we would tell him whose name it had on it.  He would then take the present to that person and either help them open it or stand next to them and wait patiently while they opened it, and then reacted with amazement at each gift.  He was as excited for everyone else to open their gifts as he was when he found one for himself.  Geez, I love him.

The rest of the weekend with family was spent much like Thanksgiving, somewhat lazy but also productive as Erik and I got to sneak away for a little alone time again.  And I decided to go for a hike and then run four miles all on the same morning which was a terrible idea because I am still, nearly three weeks later, dealing with a knee injury.  Gah.  Anyway, another nice holiday season with family in the books.

family beach vacation, 2016 edition

This past weekend we took our very last trip as a family of three.  Since I am approaching the final weeks of pregnancy we will be sticking pretty close to home now until this little one arrives.  For our family trip, we headed back to the same beach that Erik and I visited for our little solo vacation a couple weekends back.  We both agreed that while it's nice to get away for a little alone time, the beach is way more fun when the little man comes along.  To say that Arlo loved it would be an understatement, he had an absolute blast.  He had been talking about going to the beach for weeks and Friday morning when we woke up I asked him if he knew where we were going.  "The beach!" he excitedly replied.  We arrived Friday early afternoon at the motel we had booked for the weekend.  It was just a short two block walk to the beach so we loaded up all our gear into our little portable bike trailer and headed for the water immediately.  Arlo's face when we arrived was priceless, walking over the sand dune revealed the ocean right in front of us and he pointed wide-eyed and said "hey, that the ocean right there!"  ha, way too cute.

The whole afternoon was spent swimming in the water and playing in the sand.  I went a little overboard and bought a million sand toys before our trip but they worked well to keep Arlo entertained the entire time we were there.  The only downside to the whole day was the hot, hot, hot temperature.  We were under a heat advisory and even at the beach the heat index was 101.  I learned later in the day that pregnancy and heat advisories do not mix and ended up feeling quite ill, really weak and nauseated.  After dinner we took a short walk and then called it an early night so I could rest in the A/C and chew on ice cubes to try and cool myself off.

The next morning we headed to the beach right after breakfast so we could avoid the heat of the day.  Thankfully, I felt much better the rest of the trip when I stayed out of the sun when it was the hottest out.

belly is 33 + 2 in these photos

Being at the beach with a toddler allowed Erik and I to act like kids again ourselves.  I taught Arlo how to make those sand towers with the drippy wet sand (a favorite of mine as a kid) and at one point Erik dug a big hole in the sand which was quickly filled by the incoming tide.  The boys had fun playing in it together and the tide pools gave Arlo a chance to play in the water without having to wear his puddle jumper, which he always had on when we were out swimming in the ocean.

After spending all morning at the beach, we headed back to our room for lunch and to let Arlo nap.  When he woke up, we headed down the the aquarium at Fort Fisher.  Arlo is really into fish and sharks right now so we knew this would be right up his alley.  He enjoyed it as much as we thought he would and it was just as much fun for Erik and I to watch Arlo having such a good time.  When we left we went to the gift shop and decided to let him pick out a souvenir from the trip, and basically told him he could pick any toy he wanted.  I cringed at the $16 price tag on the stuffed animals which we actually kind of encouraged him to choose since they were so cute, but Arlo had little interest in those and we walked out with his choice of a small rubber fish that cost only $2, ha!

checking out a frog - but note the bald eagle right behind them!

After the aquarium we had Thai food for dinner and then walked to a little park near our motel.  We treated ourselves to a couple of vegan frozen bananas afterwards and then called it a night as it was already past the little mans bedtime.

 

We headed home the next day, so we spent the morning packing up before making a trip to our new favorite doughnut shop, Wake and Bake.  We grabbed a box of treats and then drove up to Wrightsville beach to visit our friends - including Arlo's little buddy T!  The boys are only a month apart in age and are so cute together.  That being said, they are also at the non-sharing, sand throwing age so there's that too, ha.  Our friends live only a block from the water so we spent part of the morning beach side again before driving back home.

when you can no longer reach all your parts - you employ an official sunscreen applier, ha.

I know this post was total photo overload but I fell in love with so many that we took and again, I'm just trying to remember all the little things about life right now because I know how much it's going to change in just a few short weeks when 2.0 arrives.  I like to think that we will still be able to take our annual fall trip to the mountains this year, but we are hesitant to plan anything right now not really knowing how life is going to look as a family of four.  The rest of the summer will be pretty low key as we finish up a few little projects and wait for this little mister or misses to make their appearance.  Speaking of which, 8 month pregnancy update is coming up next!